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My experience of domestic violence is proof workplaces have a role to play

 I was flying high. Managing millions of pounds, I was a corporate success and that's how people knew me.

As an extension of that perception, my colleagues assumed my husband was 'henpecked'. They believed I had everything as together at home as it was in the office.

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Mythbusting domestic violence leave

Will people fake domestic violence to get leave? How is it different to sick leave? Australian Council of Trade Unions (ACTU) Ged Kearney argues against common misconceptions about domestic violence leave.

This couldn't have been further from the truth.

At home, I was deeply tangled up in brutal domestic violence. My husband abused me verbally, physically and emotionally for 10 years. I was destroyed.

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It's not the picture most people inadvertently paint when they think "domestic violence victim". People often imagine a meek woman, an empty-headed woman, a deprived woman. But there is no such type. Thankfully, big business in Australia is starting to realise this.

In society's fight to stop domestic violence, the corporate world has an enormous role to play. It's easy to assume domestic violence isn't a corporate issue, and many people do make that assumption, but I can tell you from professional and personal experience, that's just not true.

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It's been a decade since I took my two children and fled our home, seeking support at a local women's refuge. In those 10 years I have been able, albeit slowly, to build a new life for us. Now I am a consultant providing workplaces with information on, and solutions for, domestic violence issues.

It is important and rewarding work. Here's why.

For many women living with an abusive partner, the office is a safe haven. There you have eight hours, give or take, of respite; eight hours during which your abuser is (usually) satisfied he knows where you are and what you are doing.

Imagine if the office was a place a victim felt safe disclosing their situation. Imagine if, when a victim disclosed such information, she was immediately offered an appropriate response as well as information on the support available to her. Imagine the difference that could make. It would be a game-changer.

With the right support, a victim of domestic violence could be empowered to escape their situation. They could even have their entire exit strategy planned without changing their regular routine or raising suspicion.

Workplace support could also alleviate the fear of poverty; a fear that often leads a victim to stay with their abuser. For what it's worth, that fear has solid foundations. I left my job before I left my husband and was unemployed when we ran. I was healed physically and psychologically years before I was back from the financial abyss.

Large corporations are our biggest and best chance of finding a solution to this country's sickening domestic violence problem. Corporations have amazing influence and the ability to gets things started on the top floor. From there, the messages will trickle down.

For companies that have so far not entered this space, domestic violence must be added to the agenda. The next agenda. One in four Australian women has experienced physical or sexual violence by an intimate partner. This does affect you, your corporate culture and productivity.

At the very least, a domestic violence policy should address the chain of command, available leave and the leave process, and up-to-date details of relevant support services.

Many companies already have domestic violence policies in place, and that's wonderful – but it's not enough. Are employees aware of the policy? Do they even know where to find it?

A strong, clear policy that staff are familiar with, and that is easily and quickly accessible, is vital. So, too, is complementary training.

Training should help people understand domestic violence and its impact, and it should give people the tools as well as the confidence to respond effectively and fast. Trust me, admitting you're in a violent relationship is not a decision made lightly. It is agonised over. The reaction you get has a huge – an incredibly huge – impact on whether or not you continue forward on that important, potentially life-saving path. Any delay when you disclose is an opportunity to second-guess yourself and shut it down.

When I disclosed, my boss believed me immediately and categorically. Unfortunately, since this was many years ago, there were no policies in place. In fact, I suspect if my boss had have sought advice from her superiors I would have found myself without a job.

But that boss saved my life. She saved my children's lives. She believed me, and that made me believe I would be heard.

Today I am being heard for a living. I am being heard by major corporations who understand domestic violence is an issue we all need to face.

As someone who has survived it, it's surreal to me that these really big businesses care about what I have to say. I am certainly grateful. But I am also planning to keep talking until everybody listens.

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