last year i edited an anthology of comics and cartoons about class. there were more than twice as many submissions as i was able to print, so the editorial process was challenging. i largely undertook this process myself, conferring with six other people along the way, from diverse racial, cultural and socio-economic backgrounds. obtaining feedback from people from different contexts was very important in ensuring the publication was respectful and politically useful, especially since i grew up as a white boy in a middle class context, so a lot about class, and its intersections with other oppressions, is invisible to me. it’s important that i stipulate that editorial decisions for this project were made after lengthy dialogue and discussion amongst people from different backgrounds, genders and socio-economic backgrounds.
the process of editing, laying out and self publishing a book was challenging, especially to a tight launch date + v limited budget, and alongside other concurrent deadlines, and alongside serious concerns for the health of an immediate family member. in the rush to get the book completed and launched, i sent out a mass rejection email to the 56 people whose work didn’t fit the book. i regretted sending this as a generic email, it’s never nice to send or receive such a thing, especially since many of those receiving the email are close friends. but time was tight. those whose work was not included in the book were not paid for their submissions. those whose work was published were paid.
one person whose work was not included in the book took issue with the editorial group’s decision. the main reason this piece was not included is that it was 7 pages long, and myself and the other folk involved in making the decision felt this number of pages couldn’t be justified because it would mean leaving out multiple other pieces. the publication included artwork by people in detention centres, people who had recently experienced homelessness, visa insecurity, and in various other structural hardships. for every long piece included, multiple shorter pieces would have to be left out, owing to page count and budgetory restraints. i regret that the artwork in question was not included in the book, because it was a strong piece, which i had previously communicated to those who made it. the decision not to include it was made late in the editorial process. i apologised for the decision in a email subsequent to the initial rejection msg, and i am unreservedly apologising again for it now. i feel sad about the difficult decision not to include the piece in the publication. it was a beautifully rendered, deeply personal comic.
understandably, at the time, the editorial decision was an issue for the contributing artist.
and so opposition to the decision, and to the formula rejection email came in the form of numerous phonecalls and emails, which I was slow to respond to, and only responded via email. this was also disrespectful, since the artist was someone i considered a friend.
fast forward to a few days ago, when this same person started making critical comments, many of them justified, on most things i was posting on social media, from facebook to instagram, to private emails. they sent emails asking for me to deposit money to their account, for the time they had taken explaining why it was problematic that I hadn’t included their work in the book or sufficiently communicated why. they also questioned why i was making art about topics that didn’t directly affect my own lived experience. they stated that the fact that i had not communicated properly with a woman of colour, and then subsequently drawn about the lived experience of a fictional woman of colour was unacceptable and gas-lighting and performative of ally-ship. aspects of these critiques, such as suggesting i was making money off the drawing in question, are incorrect. but other critiques about me not communicating sufficiently, properly or respectfully to a woman of colour, are important and valid, and I would like to sincerely apologise for not responding to these critiques at the time.
at the same time as the aforementioned critiques were being posted across my social media pages, it emerged that a neo-nazi group was targeting myself and a number of other people belonging to melbournes left. i was doubly distracted from responding to these critiques on social media. eventually, these daily comments began to include what i consider to be misrepresentations - that i don’t pay people for their artistic labour, for their contributions to publications. at this point, i blocked the individual from instagram, in a stressed-out, thoughtless and reactionary manner. doing this automatically deleted the person’s previous comments, which i didn’t realise would happen.
i have just written privately to the person that this post concerns, but i would also like to publically apologise here also, for blocking them. and for their comments having been subsequently deleted. the comments disappearing was not my intention. but intentions don’t matter - consequences do. and the consequence of me silencing a woman of colour is serious, and i regret it. i also apologise for having not responded to each of the comments on the posts, in real time. i felt unable to, considering what was happening in other parts of my life. this is not intended to excuse my behaviour, but i feel the need to articulate what was going on in other parts of my private life at the time. i was feeling quite anxious about the neo-nazi posts at this stage, so i set my social media presence to private, and discussed with my family the reasons this would be wise for them to perhaps also do, in light of what was happening.
the role i have in activist spaces is one in which i receive a disproportionate amount of kudos and praise for the energy i offer to social movements. it is undeniable that the majority of activism that happens in this country is performed by people who are rendered invisible, marginalised, and are not thanked or acknowledged nearly enough. i need to consider more the privileges my role affords me, the social capital, and disproportionate amounts of gratitude, when compared to those doing the grittier tasks that community organising entails. this year, i plan to undertake more of this kind of behind-the-scenes campaigning, and have a less visible presence.
one last thing. the vast majority of drawings that i do, i receive no payment for. and as for drawing about racism and the border, this is something that i generally do when approached by a group organising around these issues. and just like the other drawings i do to support social movements, i try to only draw for campaigns in which i am actively involved as an activist on the ground. but there are *certainly* infinite limitations as to how much i can understand the struggles of people with oppressions different and far greater than my own. the pic on instagram that depicted a woman of colour yelling at the immigration minister was originally drawn for a refugee organisation (i received no payment for this). i sold prints of this drawing at a zine fair last weekend, in order to raise money for the same organisation. i feel extremely uncomfortable making any money out of such artworks - for example, when the comic i drew about someone working in a detention centre went viral a few years back, i auctioned off the original drawings and donated the money to a refugee-run organisation. i say no to the vast majority of drawing projects that i get approached about that touch on issues of racism and the border and colonialism. i typically try to refer the work on to people who have a lived experience of these violent systems. i am sure that i can do better, and take up less space in these areas. and i am sure that i have enacted power dynamics in my dealings with the artist who contributed to the class anthology, power dynamics that are structured by racial and gendered privilege, by not responding to emails in a timely manner, and for blocking them on instagram rather than engaging with their critiques. for this i apologise.