The funny thing is, the day before we came home from our holiday, I’d happened on this poster. It was posted on Facebook by Dr. Wayne Dyer (who’s work I’ve never been into), and shared by someone I follow. I thought it was cool but disregarded it and moved on. And it just stuck with me.

So, that night, I searched for it again for an embarrassingly long time while the Monkey and I were watching a movie; I wanted to save it on my iPhone so both of us could remember it in moments of anxiety or fear, which we’re both prone to. I finally found it, saved it and went to sleep.

It was our last night of normalcy! When we returned home the next day, we opened our front door to loud beeping and (since I was reading a book that takes place in the Amazon)… to the Amazon river: hot, humid and pouring rain. I guess, since the house was crying, the only thing I could do was cry. But, I was mostly in shock. We’d been away for eight days. I was ready to come home! But we had no home.

Always believe that something wonderful is about to happen.

Eventually, we got ourselves a hotel that allowed pets. And we stayed in the small hotel room for two weeks (and over New Year’s), until we could secure ourselves a rented house, and that’s where we’re living now — probably for the next 10-12 months, while we gut and rebuild our entire house.

Our house had flooded, it turns out, because of the eight-day blackout during that infamous Christmas ice storm. We did everything we could while we were away to ensure the pipes didn’t freeze. But it was the radiator that burst in my bedroom. Boiling hot water poured out and started pumping through the ceilings, walls, when the furnace sensed the rad was losing water. We’re probably very lucky we weren’t there when it happened.

And here were are, one month later. Fairly settled. Fairly exhausted now that the adrenaline has worn off. We still have furniture to get, MY SHOES, my good clothes, etc. But friends, colleagues and family have helped us so much, and we’ve stayed in such good spirits.

It’s taken her a while, but Betty White is finally back to her old sunny self!

Because in a way this is “something wonderful.” As with most dark experiences, there’s some light, you know? There are gifts. And there are many gifts here. As yoga teacher Monica Voss once said, when I was her student a few years ago, we need to “collapse the foundation so we can slowly rebuild.” (Like Dyer’s saying, this, too, has stuck with me.) Like a snake shedding its skin, there’s so much renewal here, transformation, possibility, rebuilding…

And of course, there’s humour in all of this. Ummm, did you read my last blog post? About every day being like Groundhog Day? Well, our entire routine has been turned UPSIDE DOWN. I went two weeks without my precious Vitamix, and we were far away from the kids’ school, their friends, programs, my yoga. The routine and the things I knew I depended on for my family’s (and my own) health and well-being… GONE.

It was the universe saying, “OK, you lost 50+ pounds, and you think you’ve got this parenting and lifestyle thing all figured out, do you? Well, we’ll see about that!” What an insane challenge.

You just have to keep smiling. Indeed, things like this really cast into relief what matters: we’re healthy, we’re together — who cares about the rest.

And you just do whatever you can to stay healthy and sane for your family when the world turns upside down. So I kept doing yoga. No matter what, I woke up early and did my entire Ashtanga yoga practice every day. In the tiny hotel room, as the Rascal snored, in the dark… I rolled out my mat. And yoga definitely kept its end of the bargain.

How? It’s simple: 

There’s nothing else to do but surrender to the moment. 

You see, this style of yoga can be completely hellish. You’re stuck there with 1.5 hours of mostly difficult poses ahead of you — plus, it’s reeeeeally early in the morning, you’re tired, Facebook is calling, gotta get the kids up and ready, so much to do… You can either freak out or surrender. So, you surrender. And you do it. You do the whole damn thing. And you don’t think about how you feel about it. And what a gift that is to take with you throughout the day, throughout every experience, whatever the universe throws your way.

It sounds insane and intense, maybe. But it’s a practice. And, like what Willem Dafoe has said, “I think you need a practice if you live in New York — at least I do.”

The strength this practice gives me, both mentally and physically, is like nothing I’ve ever experienced. It 100% helped me get through the flood, and it helped me manage our family, keep things rolling and even continue working while Josh dealt with our living situation. That continuity, focus, strength, equanimity, surrender…

Ultimately, the feeling this whole experience has left me with is gratitude: to Josh, my kids, my family, friends and colleagues, to yoga and my yoga family, the universe and all our blessings.

Always believe that something wonderful is about to happen. 

Love!
xo Haley-O
PS: Next week, my teacher says, I’m to add the commonly dreaded Kapotasana (don’t try that at home!) to my practice. And I’m getting ready… Bring. It. On.

PPS: Look out for my personal article “Chaos Theory” in the March issue of Today’s Parent Magazine. On stands in a couple of weeks! (I managed to slip some yoga in there, too, of course — because, you know, when you wake up every day to practise, come hell or HIGH WATER, a little obsession is inevitable… xo)

When you’re a blogger, you really notice how fast time flies. I used to post here once a day, and then once a week, and then twice a month. But the time between posting kept flying by so fast, so posting once a month felt the same as posting every day. I’d have that initial feeling upon posting of, ahhh, I’ve accomplished something here, and with the blink of an eye a month had passed, and it was time to post something again. Doesn’t it seem this way for everything, though? Friday’s here, and then before you know it, it’s Monday again, then Wednesday — almost there! — and finally, Friday again. Didn’t we just go to ballet class, like, yesterday? Karate time already?

They say time goes faster as you get older, and that it’s based on a ratio — something like your age to the time period. So the length of a day is minuscule to me at my ripe old age, but long to my six-year-old:

1 day : 30+ years vs. 1 day : 6 years

Makes sense. Either that, or time is, as my daughter would say, literally speeding up.

The same thing happens between my yoga practices. (Sidenote: I’m all excited this morning because it’s Saturday, and we don’t traditionally practise on Saturdays — and after a holiday week of practising alone on my mat in the cold hall here, my body is aching and I need the break; but, Sunday fast approacheth….) Six days a week, I go to the yoga shala, sweat it out on the mat like a crazed wannabe contortionist, and it’s done, and I’m relieved and proud of myself, and before you know it, it’s 6 a.m. again, and I’m giving my friend Sergio the thumbs up before rolling out my mat again. And again. It’s sooo Groundhog Day.

For 2014, I want to slow things down a bit. As a busy, Ashtangi, working mom, it’s really tempting to just get through the week, get to Saturday — when I can rest, read novels, eat take-out, Staaaarbucks, stay in bed a bit longer. I’m not sure exactly how to slow down all the in-between, but I know it’ll involve more savouring — moments, cuddles, steps taken from the car to the schoolyard, mouthfuls, breaths.

“Betty has a yellow tooth,” R says, as he wakes poor Betty White from her slumber. Grrrr… J rubs her toes along the frame of my computer screen, watching as I type. My dad’s here. Saturday morning Power Rangers is on. “Don’t put that in your mouth, R.”

Thanks to social media, we’re all bloggers now. Many of you used to look at me like I was nuts when you learned I was a “mom blogger” back in 2006. But you’re all blogging now. It’s a bit much to sit down and craft an entire blog post; many of us old-school bloggers realize that now with the advent of microblogging, so we post way less on our blogs and blend in with the masses on Twitter and Facebook, Instagram, texting, emailing. We’re all documenting our lives now and reading others’ documentations, but is this savouring — or is it impulse?

I’m not sure. At the same time, though, weren’t our parents documenting as much as they could in their own way? Whipping out the video cam whenever the chance came? We can’t even view all those old video tapes anymore.

Me in my Olive Oyl tee and pigtails hugging Minnie Mouse, waving, “Hi, Mama!”

It’s human nature to tell stories. We’ve been doing it since the daaaawn of tiiiime. The stories, and the way they’re told, are what most define civilizations. Technology (aka Apple) has tapped into that innate human drive and exposed it, exploited it, monetized it. And it’s awesome! But, like resisting that Starbucks grande-soy-no-water-tazo-chai (see how it rolls off the tongue?), we/I/Josh-O have to exercise conscious control around it.

That’s also why I don’t blog here so much. I practically live on the Internet, Twitter, Facebook all day as Writer/Editor/”Social Media Queen” at Today’s Parent. It’s my job. Storytelling, editing stories, tweeting, Facebooking stories. I need to unplug at the end of the day.

Still, as postmodern literature so expertly shows us, it’s always about the storytelling. But, we need story, too. Life can’t all just be about the telling.

There are two blue jays outside. We’re wondering how they’re surviving in the 20-below weather… “Mama! This snow looks like ice cream.”

Six days a week (not including Saturday’s, New Moon and Full Moon days — according to the tradition), I practise Ashtanga yoga. That’s 1.5 hours of being, barefoot on a mat: no stories; no storytelling. I do this every morning like clockwork. Among other things, it preps me to be more present and aware throughout the day, to be here now, seeing through my own eyes, not those of prospective readers.

Maybe you get the same rewards jogging, meditating, drawing, playing hockey, reading poetry, birdwatching. It’s important, I think.

Don’t get me wrong, I love the storytelling. Am obsessed. But compulsive storytelling is so 2008! We need to be conscious storytellers, and above all, to live the story, too — savour the little moments… and be together without story.

Though I’m happy it’s Saturday, my Sunday practice and back-to-work Monday loom on the horizon. But my daughter wants to sit with me — just be with me — and I’m going to savour it now.

Happy, healthy, savour-y 2014!

Love!
xo Haley-O

Double rainbow. Photo by my dad.

My dad took this photo today, and he’s been telling all his friends I’m putting it on my site — he’s very proud of me, and I’m so thankful for that. I’m also thankful that he shares his cottage with us, not only because it’s a gift to be away from the city and surrounded by so much nature, but also because we get to spend more time with him and my mom.

It’s a double rainbow and full of significance as I sit here, on Josh-O’s computer, gazing out at the colourful landscape — a landscape painters dream of — here on Thanksgiving weekend at my parents’ cottage.

As always, I have to preface this post with excuses as to why I haven’t been here in several months. Instead of boring you with the usual stuff — aka busy, busy, busy and busy… also busy, like, very — I’ll give my excuses in pictures. CHECKIT:

I’ve been doing tons of TV as a celebrity parent expert (on behalf of Today’s Parent) on Etalk… Have you seen me on TV? Photo by Etalk.

Spoke at the awesome Blissdom Canada conference about writing/pitching for magazines. Photo by Louise Gleeson

Interviewed Jessica Alba and Christopher Gavigan – check out the interview HERE! Photo by Emily Piccinin

This little Monkey is also very, very demanding. She doesn’t like when I write about her, but she insisted I post this photo.

Scooter-boy, the Rascal, is a little firecracker — 37 pounds of demands. But the cheaty little blondie LOVES his mama.

This guy, Josh-O, is so so so busy. And I’m thankful for that. But, he’s been away a lot the last few months or working late — leaving me solo with the kids and no time to blog here! He’s photo’d here with the Rascal, of course, and Joe the llama.

This thing is a ton of work, I had to quit Candy Crush because I needed more time to take Instagram photos of her — like this one.

This one has been waking me up all night; that tongue is a magnet, alas, for my face — all through the night. So, you see, I’m simply too tired to blog!

I’m writing a ton at Today’s Parent — and, as you can see, it’s not all about celebrities!

I’ve been very busy lately learning new things…

Since I don’t write about the kids as much as I’d like to — they won’t ALLOW me to, and I respect their wishes even if they’re doing it just to be MEAN to their mama — I sometimes feel self-indulgent writing about and posting pictures of ME. But this is an inevitable offshoot of the blogging genre I love (and to which I’m forever indebted), so I might as well accept it.

I am, however, thankful for my renewed obsession with Ashtanga yoga, so I’m thinking I’ll write a few posts on this amazing practice — i.e., why I spend so much of my life practising it and trying to embody its principles.

See, I don’t really ever get a break. Heh! This was really fun, though! Check out my four-year-old nephew “meditating” in the front of the photo — NO ONE put him up to that!!

Lots of people ask me about how I lost FIFTY POUNDS, too, so I can write about that in another post, soon. Although…, a lot of that has to do with my daily yoga practice. Not only is it toning up my bod, but my mind feels so much more stable, centred and focused — and I can’t stress enough how key that all is for weight loss. Every morning, when I hit the mat, I embark on a physical, emotional and psychological quest. That’s a gift for a busy, xx-year-old mom. And I’m very thankful for that space I can give myself every day and for all the amazing people I’m on the Ashtanga journey with.

More self-indulgence for the road:

What I’m reading (when time permits, and now that I’ve deleted Candy Crush from my iPhone): 
- The Signature of all Things, by Elizabeth Gilbert
- If You Have to Cry, Go Outside: And Other Things Your Mother Never Told You, by Kelly Cutrone
- The Power of Ashtanga Yoga, by Kino MacGregor

#Paw #UnderBite #BettyWhite

What I’m eating:
– Lemon water with sprinkle of cayenne pepper and turmeric in the morning (curbs the cravings and starts off the day healthy, alkaline and with a spicy kick in the butt)
– Green tea
– Apple with almond butter (my favourite 4 p.m. snack)
– Friday is CHAI DAY! (Also Saturday…)
– Clean, whole foods — as Michael Pollan says, “Eat food, not too much, mostly plants.”

What I’m wearing:
– EXTRA SMALL, baby!

I’ll blog again here SOON (sooner than last time, at least), promise. In the meantime, I’m thankful for all the things above — and so much more — that have been keeping me away from this space. Also, I’m totally thankful for you, and for the blogging community I’ve seen rally around friends of mine who’ve been in need of mass love lately (#rainbow), for this life, freedom, health and all our gifts. More of that all around the world, please, for the good of all…

What are you thankful for?

Love!
xo Haley-O

It’s been so long since I’ve written here that I barely remember how to log in. Isn’t that sad? I used to write here every single day, come hell or high water (why I use that expression all the time, I do not know). And now I’m lucky if I can log in to the backend without resetting the password. Truth is, the time is just flying. It’s like, as soon as I write a post, a week flies by, and then another week. And before I know it, it’s been two months — and when’s the last time I went to yoga?

But here are some more truths. I’m writing this to you from the front seat of my parked car while I wait for the Monkey to finish her two-hour dance-show dress rehearsal (one of three this week), I’ve just gotten two emails from friends who want to make plans and I can’t seem to schedule anything for at least another month, and I have a knot in my back the size of the Empire State Building and it’s freaking me the hell out — and it hurts.

I’ve been at the Today’s Parent office at odd times for (awesome but knot-in-back-causing) Twitter parties, and I’ve interviewed Jillian Michaels, and I’ve gone to Jillian Michaels’ show (front-row-centre VIP seats, care of Jillian Michaels herself!), I’ve covered the red carpet at Hello! Canada Magazine’s Canada’s Most Beautiful party, and there’s lots more to come.

Me and Jillian Michaels!

It’s been such an exciting, busy, adventurous time. But I am utterly exhausted, and the kids, while awesome and hilarious, are not easy. They’re currently banned from TV for a week for ripping the armrests off their carseats in Josh-O’s beloved car. The silver lining is, of course, lots of this…

She made me take this picture of her little Lego world — for you. It’s pretty fabulous. If there’s one thing our little Monkey is, it’s imaginative. Builder of worlds.

And if there’s one thing her little brother is, it’s Future Oscar Winner. Move over, Gary Busey!

The kid can laugh and cry crocodile tears at the same time! I’ve also never seen anyone get that into playing with toy cars. “How do you like THAT apple,” one of his cars says to the other. “Psh, psh, POW!”

Gosh, I’m so used to blogging about other people all the time that I feel so narcissistic right now. While I’m at it, though, I guess I can tell you I’ve lost another 10 pounds since we last spoke. Wanna see?

Don’t look at my toes!

Ahh, looks like it’s time to pick the Monkey up from her dance rehearsal now. She’ll run and jump into my arms when she sees me. At almost eight years old, she still does that. And I love that she still does that, but I’m only five feet tall…and, as I’ve been trying to convey here, a wee burnt out.

I’m going to spare you another promise that I’ll blog again really really soon. But I hope you and your families are well.

LOVE!
xo Haley-O

Forgive me, Readers, for I have sinned. Gosh, it’s been almost four months since I last blogged here. There’s actually an unpublished post I wrote about a month ago sitting in the backend. For some reason, I couldn’t bring myself to publish it. It’s called “I lost 25 pounds” — I never got around to finessing the title. I couldn’t bring myself to publish it because, I guess, I wasn’t ready to share, I needed more of a blogging break, or I just didn’t like it (it didn’t sound like me). So it remains in the backend collecting Internet dust; and so it will stay. Especially because…I’ve now lost 33 pounds! Hehee.

Check me out opening Toronto’s Disney on Ice show a few weeks ago on behalf of Today’s Parent (I’ve lost a few more pounds since then, too) — what an honour!

Yes, I’ve finally lost the baby weight — something I’ve been trying to do pretty much since I started writing this blog (with a 10-month reprieve while I was preggers with the Rascal).

I’m pretty sure it took so long to lose the baby weight because, as I wrote at Today’s Parent (and please forgive me for spilling my guts there rather than here — it’s a bloggy balance I have yet to strike, clearly), having school-aged kids is awesome. The kids are amazingly more independent now, so they can entertain themselves more willingly when I’m riding the stationary bike or while I cook healthy food for us or while I count Weight Watchers points.

Yes, I’m on Weight Watchers (online — no in-person meetings for this introvert!). I chose this program because my friend Lolo (remember her?) was also on the diet, as well as several of my fabulous Today’s Parent colleagues. It was helpful to text Lolo whenever I was in a bind, and to vent about plateaus, tweet and restrain from eating office treats with my colleagues. Mind you, I never had a problem with office treats, but at least I didn’t have to refuse them alone anymore!

OK, I’m getting to the point where I’m wondering if I should publish this post or not. I seem to have left my blog legs at Today’s Parent. I am sooo busy there right now. There’s a lot of exciting stuff happening, and you’ll see a lot more writing from me — not just about celebrities! I even just had an article about — gasp — pregnancy published in our Today’s Parent Pregnancy magazine. I posted a photo of it on Facebook, if you want to check it out. I didn’t realize how graphic it was at a certain point. I probably should have cut the photo off before the vagina and rectum part.

Anyway, I know a lot of you have been trying to lose weight with me all these years. So, here are the little trickies I’ve learned on my weight-loss journey.

1. Give yourself a treat day
Even Jillian Michaels recommends this — for her kids, but still, it works. My treat day is Saturday (woohoo, almost there!). So, if I have cravings during the week, I put the food away and think to myself, “You can have it Saturday!” I even recommended this strategy to a smoker friend of mine. I suggested she try to refrain from smoking all week and then smoke all she wants on Saturdays. It hasn’t worked for her, alas, but you really have to want to quit, or to lose weight, to make it happen (see #2). Make sure you don’t go overboard on treat day, though, or it does sabotage your efforts, and you will feel sick. I speak from experience.

2. Be wanting and ready to lose weight
When I was at my highest weight, back in September, I started feeling physically averse to my flab. It’s sort of like when you really need a haircut, and, like, you need it now! I needed the fat off NOW. In the five years I’ve been trying to lose weight, I never had this fierce, physical desire or drive. It’s definitely key. Maybe it involves getting to your highest weight — or, as they say, hitting rock bottom. It was a key factor for me.

3. Control your cravings and log your food intake
I’ve plateaued a couple of times during my weight-loss journey. To get through plateaus I had to really take a look at what I was eating, and what I was craving — that’s easy to do if you’re using a weight loss app, like Weight Watchers’, which has a food log component (SO KEY). For the most part, I noticed, I started plateauing when I was eating too much bread or baked stuff: a homemade muffin for breakfast, crackers and hummus for lunch, bagel and peanut butter for dinner. It was all well within my daily points allowance, but not nutritious, and I was craving these foods. The more bread you eat, the more you want it. So, to lose the last 10 pounds or so, I’ve been limiting the bread and baked goods, and replacing some of those missing carbs with healthy whole grains, fruits and starchy vegetables. And, lo and behold, the weight peels off and I don’t need spelt ShaSha cookies for dessert anymore.

4. Exercise
Biking, sweaty Ashtanga yoga, walking, kickboxing DVDs, snowshoeing, skating….

It’s all about convenience. This means I crack open the yoga mat more often at home than at the studio (alas), and I bike in front of the TV while dinner’s cooking, etc. The most I exercise (formally) is around 45 minutes, six days a week; I take a break on treat day. I also try to be as active as I can throughout the day, i.e., by taking the long route to the office washroom, parking a little farther from my destinations, walking instead of driving to the bank machine, tackling the dog, chasing the kids, etc.

4. Have a bite
Sometimes treats happen beyond “treat day.” My kids know that Mama’s treat day is Saturday. But I don’t want them to see me being rigid. If we’re presented with a cake, I’ll have a bite, even a sliver. They just know that having a treat day helps me eat healthy most of the time — which is what their goal should be, too.

I’m sure I’ll think of more tips after/if I press the “Publish” button here. But, let’s talk about it in the comments…or Facebook or Twitter. I’m happy to answer any questions you might have about Weight Watchers, weight loss, Betty White — who recently got groomed (in case you were wondering based on the photo above…).

She was still mad about getting groomed when I snapped this picture.

Alright, this was fun! We should do this more often. Truth is, I am SWAMPED at work, so it’s hard to find the time. And this whole post is a symptom of a little procrastination problem I’m having this morning. But, I guess now I’m warmed up to write!

See you soon.

Love!
xo Haley-O

That’s me doing a princess-style wave in the smooth, crystal-clear water of Magen’s Bay in the stunning Caribbean island of St. Thomas. Yes, we went all out this year. I sort of figured we might as well, since the world was going to end in 2012, spend all our money on a trip of a lifetime. Josh, on the other hand, a firm believer in Science (capital S), knew no such thing would happen, and he treated us to a trip of a lifetime anyway. And I’d say we deserved it.

I can’t even tell you how amazing this trip was. We started in Miami and took a Disney cruise to St. Martin/St. Maarten, St. Thomas, Castaway Cay (Disney’s private island in the Bahamas) and then back to Miami, where we spent the day at the luxurious Trump Towers with relatives who were staying there.

Due to extreme tiredness — New Year’s Eve last night was late, and we arrived at the Toronto airport at 1:30 a.m. the night before that — I don’t have the energy to go into details except to say we made wonderful friends, saw gorgeous sights, enjoyed great live Disney shows, met lots of Disney characters (Goofy’s my favourite!), ate way too much food, got some much-needed sun, swam, read, danced, relaxed, played, watched Pirates of the Caribbean under the Caribbean stars, SANG KARAOKE (the Monkey and I destroyed Bieber’s “Baby, Baby” — let’s just say, I am no Ludacris!) and more, more, more.

But I thought we’d better start the New Year off right here at Cheaty Monkey. So I am, hereby, officially putting the darkness that characterized a lot of 2012 behind us, and ushering in 2013, the beautiful.

One of the best lessons I learned on this trip — thanks in part to Disney and it’s magical themes — was to look for the beauty. Obviously, you can’t compare grey Toronto to the positively (here’s a word I haven’t used since a grade-eight creative writing assignment) pulchritudinous islands. But why focus on flaws all the time? There is always beauty, and I want, I need, to try to see it in all, or at least more, things.

And by beauty I mean happy thoughts (not anxious ones), glass half full, the good, the yes, the creativity, spirit, shine, art, love, abandon. I guess this is my big resolution for 2013.

So far, Day 1, I am kind of sucking. But I’m tired today, and this resolution will involve a huge paradigm shift, a transformation of my entire mindset, a sea change. So I’m taking it slow.

And when in doubt, though it’s not close by, I’ll look to the sea. I still feel it enveloping my body (which is now three pounds heavier thanks to too much exquisite food, but who cares — hakuna matata!). Despite it’s clear blue warmth, I feel chills. The beauty so overwhelming. My mind shifts briefly to the dark side, the plastic, pollution, extinction. But I force myself to drop it, donate later, be here now. It’s still as beautiful as it was when I was a kid, still as blue, salty, glassy, utterly awe-inspiring.

I guess the beauty of living in Toronto is that when you actually see the sea, you revel in it….

I miss you, Rita, Rick, Leena, Rami, Domano, Nadia, Putu, Deniz, Christian, Tina, Gunther (sorry I called you Thumper), Edmund, Gabby, Goofy, Pluto, Micky, Minnie, Donald, Daisy, Ariel, Tiana, Peter Pan, Belle, the islands, the sea….

HAPPY, BEAUTIFUL NEW YEAR TO ALL!

As they say on the Disney Wonder cruise ship (c/o Tinker Bell and friends), FAITH… TRUST… and PIXIE DUST!

Love!
xo Haley-O

This is what my son, 5, told his sister, 7, in the car this afternoon on the way to karate…

“Do you know what’s happenin’
in New York right now?”

“No.”

“A statue breaked. It fell on the road.
And they glued it. And it’s fixed.”

When I asked him where he heard about the statue, he shrugged and said, I dreamed it.

I wish we could fix what’s broken.

All my love…,

Haley