Drew Curtis' FARK.com

Fri May 05, 2017

Source	Fark Headline		Comments
		By a 7-1 vote, the US Supreme Court signals that they have had just about ENOUGH of this "civil foreiture" nonsense source: forbes.com \| share:	18
		She's accused of extramarital affairs, unprotected sex with several partners, hiring female prostitutes for threesomes and her own selfish pursuits, and smoking the weed confiscated from a kid by her bailiff. And they shall call her Your Honor source: courthousenews.com \| share:	42

Thu May 04, 2017

		That's not crack, it's heroin source: cbs12.com \| share:	11

		Toddler gets that ol' craving for Krystal's -- at 3 a.m. Hilarity ensues source: actionnewsjax.com \| share:	21
		The Penn is smellier source: nydailynews.com \| share:	19
		If you're smuggling so much booze into a 'dry' military base that planes are tipping over, you're either doing something very wrong or very right source: apnews.com \| share:	23
		Florida man Florida man washes his hands whenever he can source: dailymail.co.uk \| share:	10
		Just imagine having to spend two years in prison because you lied about being the brains behind Kung-Fu Panda source: deadline.com \| share:	22

		"Congratulations--it's a boy." "Hi Mom. Here's your IUD" source: refinery29.com \| share:	46
		Man arrested for driving with shirt reading 'This Guy Needs a Beer' and a .316 BAC source: fox6now.com \| share:	18
		Doctors in India get a little head source: nypost.com \| share:	24
		Poor proofreading on Capitol Hill allows Jeff Sessions to crack down on medical marijuana in two states source: usnews.com \| share:	39
		Japanese shocked to discover that having several generations form romantic relationships with anthropomorphic pillows, life-like dolls, and multi-tentacled animatronic succubi has had an adverse impact on population growth source: finance.yahoo.com \| share:	54
		Pharma bro Martin Shkreli gets permanently banned from Twitter source: nypost.com \| share:	28
		FBI: We're shocked one country would try to influence another country's election. CIA: No comment source: jamiedupree.blog.journal-news.com \| share:	25
		Photoshop this Havana hottie source: yourshot.nationalgeographic.com \| share:	25
		Anyone have a spare $56 million? You can buy Sting's Central Park West duplex. In other news, the AC on your 440-sq ft 1-bedroom basement apartment that you pay WAY too much for just went out...again source: ny.curbed.com \| share:	28
		"Cancel that Amber Alert and whip up some murder charges against the little accomplice" source: yahoo.com \| share:	43
		Climate change may wipe out all monuments to the confederacy source: wtop.com \| share:	80
		Fark Food Thread: Cheese is popular for many but what are some fun ways you use it? Special selections for your mac or the perfect complement for mushrooms? Share your favorite uses.. especially if they break from the ordinary source: foodnetwork.com \| share:	165
		Judge acquits woman who tried to water down bacon source: theglobeandmail.com \| share:	67
		You ever laugh so hard at a TV show you choked and knocked yourself unconscious? This Australian MP has source: buzzfeed.com \| share:	43
		Photoshop this ghostly presence source: c1.staticflickr.com \| share:	33
		This Finals week, students at Montana State University can get themselves a piece of ass source: yahoo.com \| share:	31
		Of all the places you don't want to hide an error, a nuclear plant has got to be at the top of the list source: nj.com \| share:	41
		Man charged with assault for attacking neighbor with bowling pin, wearing ridiculous-looking shoes source: billingsgazette.com \| share:	24
		Obamacare flatlines source: foxnews.com \| share:	1296
		Man enters home, discharges fire extinquisher, prays with resident. Wait, what? source: fox8.com \| share:	12
		Customs: Anything to declare? Man: Those aren't my sealed buckets full of snakes source: theguardian.com \| share:	25
		Guess what happens if you take a drug called "Gray Death" source: cbsnews.com \| share:	136
		Minneapolis Park Board votes to change name of lake named after noted slaver John Calhoun to the original Dakota name of Bde Maka Ska, which translates loosely as "Whitey Lake" source: startribune.com \| share:	88
		North Korea now threatens the "final doom of the U.S." To which most people said we already had that last November source: thesun.co.uk \| share:	119
		Gunman shoots and kills sports bar employee, then gets killed by a customer because Texas source: nydailynews.com \| share:	268
		"Fake news in 'Star Wars' is probably their number one problem". Jar Jar Binks nods in approval source: washingtonpost.com \| share:	54
		US Special Operations Command is on the lookout for performance enhancing drugs for dogs, raising the possibility of tactical milk-bones source: tampabay.com \| share:	33
		Delta sees all the free publicity that United is getting and says, "Yeah I wanna piece of that" source: abc7.com \| share:	151
		DC Comics is bringing The Watchmen to its universe, but unless you live in the USA, you won't be seeing any bloody smiles thanks to a trademark troll source: polygon.com \| share:	81
		Woman swallows $7,000 in cash to hide it from her husband, suffers penalty for early withdrawal source: mirror.co.uk \| share:	29
		School on lockdown as police investigate Darth Vader threatening younglings again source: fox6now.com \| share:	27
		Parents Of The Year give daughter a vodak party for turning 13. She Absolutly blew a .32 source: mcall.com \| share:	67
		What part of "Don't go near the komodo dragons" don't you understand? source: yahoo.com \| share:	67
		Alanis Morissette is broke but happy after manager who had one hand in her pocket sentenced to 6 years in prison for theft source: variety.com \| share:	70
		Group of bounty hunters who surrounded a car in a Walmart parking lot and shot up the vehicle, killing the innocent man, have been charged with murder. IG-88, Bossk, Zuckuss, 4-Lom, and Dengar insist they were set up by Boba Fett and claim innocence source: ksn.com \| share:	87
		It's the time of year when middle school students do stupid things in yearbook photos to piss people off source: wreg.com \| share:	55
		Photoshop Theme: Running with scissors source: fark.com \| share:	25
		Prince Philip is not on the cart after all; he's fine and thinks he'll go for a walk source: bbc.com \| share:	84
		Students try to crawl through an air duct to steal a final exam from a teacher. Police say the suspects were a brain, an athlete, a basket case, a princess, and a criminal source: arkansasonline.com \| share:	44
		Live boy source: seattletimes.com \| share:	72
		US Department of Justice says it was OK for police to continue shooting Alton Sterling because he was still moving source: cnn.com \| share:	175
		Ground beef source: pennlive.com \| share:	34
		Okay, so the terrorism angle didn't work. What else do we have to compel people to give up their passwords and erode the Fifth? An Instagram celeb, nudes, and a text reading "can have them back as I said you dope chick"? Fine, let's go with that source: cnn.com \| share:	71
		"Alcoholic British Baby Boomers Overrunning NHS" is the name of my Godsmack tribute band source: theguardian.com \| share:	17
		Scientists now say it's okay to masturbate at work source: indy100.com \| share:	75
		Terminally-ill cancer patient jailed for LEGAL cancer drug in her system, will miss chemotherapy. Kansas: The Heart(less) Land of America source: kake.com \| share:	172
		Guy married to his own mother-in-law source: pennlive.com \| share:	38
		Bad: dying in a workplace accident. Worse: photodocumenting your accidental death at work source: bbc.co.uk \| share:	74
		Queen says get your buckingass to the palace source: news.com.au \| share:	507
		Theme of Farktography Contest No. 626: "Gardens 2". Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's theme source: farktography.net \| share:	58

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