Security FTW! The State Department Has Released A New Map Of The World Where America Is Too Small For ISIS To Find

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Hello, You Are The Monkey Detective. Can You Figure Out Which Monkey Stole Your Wine?

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Gaining Momentum: Marine Le Pen Is Surging In The Polls After Pledging To Restrict France’s Population To The 10 Frenchest People On Earth

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Witness The Murder Of An Opposition Journalist, And 4 Other Plans For A Perfect Day In St. Petersburg

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Lucky To Be Alive: Harrison Ford’s Many Brushes With Death

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You Are The United Nations Secretary-General! Can You Use The Bathroom For 5 Freaking Minutes Without World War III Breaking Out?

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A Beautiful Gesture: Outback Steakhouse Is Attempting To Coax Amelia Earhart Out Of Hiding By Offering Her 200 Pounds Of Raw Steak From Any Of Its Restaurants

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A Master At Work: George Saunders Orders One Mousetrap Over The Phone

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They Said What?!

Find out who said: “Is it eco-terrorism to bomb factory farms, liberate the cattle, smuggle the cattle to your underground bunker, and gradually eat them one by one while the FBI tries and fails to hunt you down? Very well, then. I am an eco-terrorist.”