LOAD Discography

The internet is a buzz with the sad news of Bob Johnston's death. Sucks it would take this horrible occasion to light a fire under my ass to get you the complete works of the band I have often touted as the best thing to come from Miami since 2 Live Crew. Supersonic, motherfucker.

LOAD

R.I.P. Bobby Johnston

Bobby Johnston of Miami punk band LOAD has faded into legend.

Rites of the Black Mass

Going back to 1992 and the bullshit town of Tampa Florida with Rites of the Black Mass, the first official full length LP from Acheron, the oft overlooked veterans of no frills Satanic Death Metal. I think Acheron get a a bad rap, they sound much like the no-frills Death Metal of Nunslaughter but seem to get only a small percent of the attention. Perhaps my favorite aspect to Rites of the Black Mass is the intros that preface every song. Acheron are loyal subjects of Satan, and opt to name drop as many demons as they can within their songs. It may seem a bit like these adepts are sucking up, but I think their devotion to deviltry is just that devout. Acheron mailman Vincent Crowley was even a reverend in the Church of Satan, but has since left the fold. If you like your Death Metal simple, punchy, and slathered in good old fashion orthodox devil-worship then Acheron is for you. If you are some pious do-gooder fuckstick, back the fuck away slowly and never speak of this again.

Here

The New Beginning

Here's another lost Sunshine State Hardcore artifact, Blemish on Society's sole vinyl release, The New Beginning. These Tampa terrors were a bit late to the party issuing this bit of adolescent fury in 1988. Like recent Florida-based Hearse honorees FWA, these guys just wanted to play Hardcore, and they fucking did.

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FWA

I have to thank my old Florida homie Justin Cudney for getting this hen's tooth off my wishlist and up in my earholes. So FWA maybe weren't the best hardcore band to come out of the flaccid dick-shaped state that I spent my first 18 years in, but they were an integral part of the scene playing many hectic shows and opening for whatever punk legends were ballsy enough to take the extra travel day down to Miami, only to have their tires slashed, and their merch guy pummeled by subtarded, sun-drenched skinheads. FWA managed to crank out this one EP in the midst of all the heat and chaos. The cover shows a typically South Florida landscape of big ominous skies and rows of buzzing power lines. It may not mean much to you, but to my eyes it is all the loneliness and ennui of my adolescence in one single image. So let's talk about the tunes, shall we? FWA were amateurish, that is for sure, but in that simplistic, rickety untalent was a charm that may even remind you of your own teen angst. Hardcore with little outside influence, no experimentation, no metal, no emo. Mohawks and skateboards, flannels and boots. Thank you so much, Justin and FWA wherever you may be.

FWA!

X-Rated

The best works as compiled by the frenetic fuck freak himself. Might be a great introduction to one of the first dirty rappers on the scene, Miami's master of the party album, the sultan of stag, the bishop of blue, Blowfly. For those of you not in the know, Blowfly is the Nom de Poon of Mr. Clarence Reid. Motherfucker has been churning out nasty fucking albums and tapes for forty years. I grew up in South Florida, where Blowfly is a local legend. His tapes were sold at flea markets, in liquor stores, head shops and often kept behind the counter in cooler record stores, where they couldn't fall into the hands of minors. Ironically it was young punk rocker kids who found Blowfly's juvenile parodies and absurdly pornodelic lyrics most hilarious. My first Blowfly tape was Blowfly's Freak Party and for that reason it remains my favorite of his vast dickography. I vividly recall listening to it with my friends and squealing in delight as Blowfly cackled and spewed forth lyrical gems like "Safari, watch her suck a lion's dick." In the course of his twenty-plus albums Blowfly managed to fuck on tape Satan, Mr. T., Fidel Castro, punkers, animals, mythical creatures, and a myriad of cock-crazed bitches and ho's. Now let Blowfly give your ear holes the deep dicking they deserve with his very best works.

XXX

Blindspot

From 1988 until 1997 Assuck were one of the greatest Grindcore bands on earth. Every fucking bit as important as Napalm Death or Terrorizer. Not an opinion but a fact. Deal with it, buddy.

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On Tap

B.P. stood for Belching Penguin or sometimes Belching Penguins. These beer-obsessed thrashers hailed from Bradenton, Florida, a bullshit town best known for orange juice and manatees. These guys were kind of like Florida's answer to D.R.I. or C.O.C. During their short run they released one great album with the title Draft Beer...Not Me, and yes that would be a skeletal-handed Reagan pouring you a pitcher of death. Along with F's You Are an EP, one of the greatest bits of '80s Hardcore to ever come out of the Sunshine State.

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The Ten Commandments

If you look past the redneckery, the tall tales, and you were to judge Malevolent Creation based on their first two albums alone, you would see a strong young Floridian Death Metal band. I grew up in the same town as these duders and used to see them play to scant crowds of doughy peckerwoods in sweat pants, and they were killer. So they weren't as smart as Atheist or Cynic, or as evil as Deicide or Obituary, or as Magikal as Morbid Angel, The Ten Commandments is such a fucking great record I am willing to overlook the fact that one of them pushed me down and called me a faggot in the parking lot of the Treehouse in Hallandale.

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DEAD

Depending on how your ears work, Musical Abortions is either the worst Death Metal demo, or the best power electronics tape of all time. This was the project of Jim Coker of Brutality, Ulcer, Nasty Savage, and every noteworthy band in the Tampa Bay Area. Operating under the name Mucus Shitslime and joined by Belching Snotsucker, Vomit Puslicker, and Diarrhea Maggot, Mr. Coker created a torturous twenty minutes of white noise, demonic gurgles and over-the-top guitar soloing. Clearly this was a joke, but this is nastiness that will sate fans of Whitehouse AND Mortician.

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Maggot Sandwich

Cosmic Hearse is long overdue for a post on these snark-infested Florida antipunks, so I have decided to do this right and give you a whole lotta Sandwich in this one post. Maggot Sandwich started in Pensacola in 1984 and continues to this day (I think.) Over the course of their lengthy history the band has released a few 7"s, a couple of LPs and tapes, and contributed to many home-spun punk compilations. The hallmark of the Florida punk bands of the '80s was a certain degree of off-kilter humor (see F, Gay Cowboys, Roach Motel, Broken Talent) and Maggot Sandwich had this tenfold, and down to a fucking science. Check it out, I am giving you a bunch of stuff here, not exactly sure what, but the great Get off the Stage LP as well as the Murder War and Dead to My World EPs are included. There may be some duplicate tracks and shit but don't bust my balls over it, just party with classics like "Dinty Moore Night" and "USS Foreskin."

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Dead and Desperate

Today is all about one of Florida's earliest punk bands, The U-Boats, and their second single Dead and Desperate. Sure they weren't as cool as Roach Motel or Hated Youth, but dude, this was 1982 in Tampa, and that fucking guitar tone is pretty dirty. To get an idea of how isolated these guys may have been from what was going on in the world of punk, take a look at the picture of them on the back cover looking like a third tier NWOBHM band complete with downy mustaches and headbands. Cool in it's uncoolness, naively charming proto-punk from the dick state.

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Blowfly's Zodiac

Now I don't believe in Astrology, but that is probably because I am not a girl or an idiot. I DO believe in Blowfly, so when he says by being a Libra, I love to smell toilet seats, who am I to argue? Fuck that Harvey Sid Fisher guy, he don't know shit about pussy.

What's Your Sign?

Dry Spell

Dry Spell is a particularly nasty Black Metal band from Tampa. Dry Spell's members also operated in the bands Natte Ulf and Sigil SS (if anyone has anything by these bands please share.) Under The Blackened Skys of War was the bands second demo, and last before founding member, Grond, hung himself in 2004. Dry Spell carried on and a 3-way split with Deathkrush and Whorde was released in 2008. As was seen in the last post, demos with typos in the titles always get special love from the Hearse, and this shit is sick, misanthropic noise from my home state. R.I.P. Grond, Long Live Dry Spell!!!

War!

Demented

The response to Brutality's debut full length Screams of Anguish was quite positive, so I thought you may be interested in hearing some more by them. Here is their 1989 demo, Dimension Demented. This was back when the band was a much rawer three piece concern. Some of these songs were pressed to a 7" titled Hell On Earth in 1990.

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XXX Mas

So every blog on the goddmaned interwebs is posting their favorite Christmas albums and Cosmic Hearse is no different. If you know Blowfly, you know what to expect. Never before has anyone made so much use out of the fact that "clit" and "dick" almost rhyme. Happy Holidays, perverts.

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Rugged Edge

Rugged Edge were a punk band from Miami in the '80s. The had big mohawks and favored the UK style of punk. I use to see them a lot at the Cameo Theater. People would slam, and sometimes skinheads would beat somebody up while their girlfriends held their jackets. Here's Rugged Edge's 7". I can't recall what year this came out, but if I had to guess I'd say 1986. Strange record with side a being a bit more artful than the neanderthal punk on side b.

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Raising Hell

You all wanted more stuff by Miami's Load, the band I have often referred to as "the greatest band of the '90s." Not wanting to disappoint you, I have decided to post Load's very first recordings better known as The Hellraiser Session. Hope you enjoy it.

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Blowfly Disco

If you hail from Miami, or anywhere near it, then you already know all about Blowfly, the foul-mouthed, crack smoking superhero from Miami's mean streets. Chances are you own at least two of his cassettes and can quote at least five verses from any number of his many X-rated party songs. You probably can recall the first time you ever heard his trademark laugh. You may have even met the man at eSync studios or at The Overtown Fleamarket. For the rest of you, not blessed enough to grow up on the dripity tip of America's flaccid dong, Blowfly might remain unknown, which is low-down dirty-dicked shame. Blowfly's immense influence can be heard in the ribald works of such ghetto pioneers as Too Short, Kool Keith, and fellow Florida filth flingers, 2 Live Crew. Blowfly (aka Clarence Reid) has been self-releasing "party Records" since 1969. This has resulted in a staggering body of work in which the man fucks everyone from the devil, to Mr. T, to Darth Vader, to various animals, political figures, and, well, you name it and Blowfly probably has a song about fucking it. Part Weird Al, part George Clinton, part Screamin' Jay, and all motherfucking, everloving Blowfly. Here is his 1976 assault on the musical abomination that was disco, aptly titled Blowfly Disco. A few years back a foppish visionary named Jello Biafra was introduced to the coarse peasant humour of Blowfly and quickly signed him to his label, Alternative Tentacles. Naturally Blowfly seized this opportunity to give a deep dicking to the weird world of Punk Rock. At the ripe old age of sixty four Blowfly shows no signs of slowing down or going soft. God bless Blowfly.

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Danger

Reprinted from my post on the hardcore band, F:

The story of the two bands that existed in South Florida in the '80s using the obscure moniker of "F" is a confusing one at best, but I will attempt to explain as best as I can. In the late '70s a single band called F surfaced, contributing a track to the Land That Time Forgot compilation LP. This lineup consisted of an enigmatic frontman named Flash as well as guitarist Mike Hasson and drummer Pete Moss. Ken "Duke" Decter may or may have not also been in this early F incarnation, I just don't know. Anyways, around 1983 another band, a hardcore band called F released a fantastic blistering 12" ep called You Are An EP What was even more confounding was the fact that the ep had at least 3 songs that had been penned by the original F back in the '70s. The only real connection between the old and new F was Mike Hasson, who now went by the extremely tough nickname of "Ravenous" and was now playing drums rather than guitar. Then as if to further confuse anyone who cared, Flash returned to the fold with a new band called, you guessed it, F. Flash's F was a more Dead Boys type deal that did many of the same songs as the previous two Fs. There appeared to be no animosity between the two concurrent Fs, in fact, Mike "Ravenous" Hasson even lent his guitar playing to the Flash-led F's great cassette releases

The Flash F was sometimes referred to as "The Metal F" by locals, but I don't really think this is very metal. Sure Flash sings in higher register than he maybe should have, but metal? Flash is (he still performs as F) an enigmatic and eccentric frontman that never got his due on the big stages (like Bobby Leibling.) Here is the first of those brilliant Flash-led F cassettes titled The Danger Is Here. Word around town is that Flash hates these blog type things and will probably tell me to take this down or face a beating. Hopefully that won't happen, it'd be a real shame if you didn't get to hear this, and I wouldn't want to be on the receiving end of a Flash ass whooping, the dude is tough. The rest of you can straight up drink my nuts.

Danger