I’m 57, gay and have never been in a relationship. I think I know why: I’m only attracted to young men, roughly 18-35. I always longed for a faithful, lifelong partner, but younger men get older, so how could there be any future in it? Friends tell me: “Be realistic, find a guy of your own age.” Why do so few seem to realise that age is as much an orientation as gender is? I can’t begin to imagine falling for a guy of my own age. Plus I find most gay men a turn-off. I’ve spent my life as the third person in a series of triangles. I fall for him, he falls for her. Some of those triangles have stood the test of time. But I’m still waiting for that one encounter that doesn’t end up with me getting crowded out.

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