Twice a week we publish problems that will feature in a forthcoming Dear Jeremy advice column in the Saturday Guardian so that readers can offer their own advice and suggestions. We then print the best of your comments alongside Jeremy’s own insights.

I fear this will sound trivial, but here goes. At work – usually pretty typical office jobs where my role has been independent, despite being part of a section or team – I am a different person.

I am quiet because I loathe starting small talk – it makes me anxious and shy, and it even seems rude if I don’t know the person I try to talk to. Also, my jobs don’t tend to involve a lot of talking, so I become focused on my work at my computer. Invariably, I get pigeonholed as being “moody”, “difficult to talk to”, or “lacking passion for my job”. I know I must seem stoic – I just don’t know how else to be.

Outside of work, ironically, I don’t lack confidence. I am usually visibly cheerful and can be talkative. In the past I have enjoyed giving presentations or public speaking at work, but in my latest role I am junior and have no obvious opportunity to do so.

My outside-work personality just doesn’t translate to the workplace because it feels like a completely different environment.

I admit my jobs aren’t my passion but I like aspects of them, and I care strongly about doing a good job. But what can I do if I’m not on a team with people talking to me?

Although I have no problems socialising at work events, these tend to be rare.

How can I break the cycle? I feel like workplaces only want chatty extroverts and I’m doomed to remain a cold fish.

Not having friends at work makes me immensely unhappy, and often contracts end before anyone can even get to know me by association.

Do you need advice on a work issue? For Jeremy’s and readers’ help, send a brief email to dear.jeremy@theguardian.com. Please note that he is unable to answer questions of a legal nature or to reply personally.