"From the get-go, I wasn't feeling it," says Milanka, a perhaps understated response to the nightmare date that kicked off the new season of Seven's First Dates.
Unceremoniously shoved into Seven's MKR-break non-ratings lull, the series had an auspicious enough premiere, punctuated by the unlikely success of used car salesman Sanjay and "straight-talking" Caitlin - and their messy, weirdly endearing, post-date make-out.
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But the biggest surprise might've been a return visit from Milanka (and her mum), following on from last season's heartbreaking jaunt with crowd-favourite Shadie.
Unfortunately, things with date Chris, a fellow Euro-y security dude, didn't quite go to plan, as her twitchy reaction to the revelation he likes, ahem, mature women, showed.
"Oh, that was genuine shock. For all the things he could've said, that was not what I was expecting," she says about discovering Chris had dated a 50-year-old.
"For me, at no point was the date working. I was completely confused," she says.
"It was so hard to get conversation flowing. It was like squeezing an orange. I was squeezing and squeezing, trying to get anything out, so it became like an interview.
"I just wanted to know what this guy was into, because he wasn't exposing much about himself. That's when I asked that question [about his dating history] and yeah, then I had a miniature stroke."
As you might've guessed from Milanka's closing brush-off – "Perhaps we are better off continuing our search for 'the one'... separately," was her kiddy-gloved putdown – the pair haven't seen each other since.
"God no! Nooooooooo. Nup. Nope. Not at all," she says, fairly directly.
Despite the disappointing second-strike, she doesn't think the show's producers sold her out for cheap entertainment purposes.
"In theory, I can completely understand where the choices for both guys came from," she says.
"On paper, it made sense – he had his own security company, I work in security. He was a wog, I'm very woggy," she laughs.
"But in real life, it's very different. You don't know until you're in the situation, with two personalities trying to connect."
And, she says, she's learnt something about herself from the experience.
"I have a younger brother and he's been in a serious relationship for about four years... But it looks so boring to me, that's the problem!" she says.
"I look at what they're doing and it's the same thing on a weekly basis. They go out to sushi, they go to the movies – it just sounds like jail to me. I just got back from South America for five weeks having the time of my life, and I know I couldn't have done that with a partner.
"I observe couples, I find them so intriguing," she offers. "People's personalities change as soon as they get into a relationship. It's like they've been intoxicated – they feel a need to act a certain way.
"You should feel liberated, like a better version of yourself when someone's with you, but that's rare... So I'm stuck in an in-between situation of wanting a partner and just living my life without anybody to answer to."
When one eye says everything #FirstDatesAU
— JonesyGirl (@JonesyGirl85) April 10, 2017
pic.twitter.com/TmA9bHBFAL
Ok. New idea. Scrap this whole show and just make a show out of Milanka's mother becoming an Uber driver. #FirstDatesAU
— Ira Snave (@IraSnave) April 10, 2017
Of course, someone's got other ideas.
"Oh yeah, my mum will be on my back till the day I die," she laughs about the ep's breakout presence.
"She's worried, obviously. I'm three years off 30. It's very concerning to a mum. But it's all in good humour - I'm not freaking out over it.
"I feel the trick with dating is just to keep an upbeat positive vibe and remain yourself, even if you don't think there's anything romantic at the end of it. At least it's a good time for them. I'm being pretty considerate, actually."