we watched gia last nite because it was on television for free. i had never seen it before. angelina jolie did not look seventeen years old. lots of horniness was going on and then it got all sad and disease-like. too bad she had awful hair. the part when she walks into that model agency fil looked at me and said are you picturing yourself walking into an agency and winning them over and i said nooooooooooo but inside my head i was saying yessssssssss!

anyway

back to television because i have something extremely important to discuss

you know that certain feeling that the tv is on in a room when you are doing something else like say you’re on the internet for three hours straight and you haven’t looked over your shoulder or moved or anything but then you come back to reality and sense that the tv might be on and you can’t remember if it is actually on or if you turned it on earlier so you sit there thinking hmm i am going to make an educated guess about this matter and before i turn around i am going to have the right answer in my head regarding the television being on or not because the room has that “television is definitely on” vibe to it and so you turn around and look and the tv isn’t on and you are like what the fuck, that’s strange, i really thought it was on that time.

the scene of the crime…

broken cigs

wet snowy pants

being mad about it

ok so i cracked and went to the casino afterall and got shitty and my mum won a lot of sweet mula and me and brotherraymi got bitchy toward her because she was being stingy and he was like if i won that much money i would be giving at least a hundred to everybody in our party and so we were being bad greedy kids as per usual.

the bathroom smells like diapers and everybody is mean and ugly and old and they walk around clutching their gambling cups and if your eyes look at their cup they look at you like you are going to hell.

man that place is awful.

and of course i won absolutely nothing because i never ever do and if i did i would gamble it all away immediately because i am a manic piece of shit with gamble fever and i like to look like i know what i am doing at all times and i don’t like walking around with a cup of unused coins so i have to lose everything before i feel comfortable in getting up to walk around and find my brother or whomever and then watch him lose more of his money and then we leave and listen to the beavis and butthead experience cassette all the way home because we invented coolness.

brotherraymi said something that was suppose to insult me on the way there and i forget what it was but i made an awesome insult right back at him that i laughed at for maybe ten minutes after i said it because i thought it was so good and he also agreed that it was a good insult and it sort of hurt his feelings and this is what it was:

“why don’t you buy another sweatshirt?!”

i am the best.

just a little bit of gaytimes for you.

fil went off to be in his friend’s indie movie thing again. he is wearing a suit and skating around with a hockey stick and driving and having facial expressions so he is going to be the next big star to come out of canada since michael j. fox and i mean it.

last nite on our way back from the disco, fil shoved me down into the snow a hundred times and all these cars were driving past and no one cared that this big tall guy is pushing down some girl and kicking snow in her face and granted i was drunk and laughing but i was also angry at the same time and yes i started all of it though he could have pretend fell down at least once so i could put snow all over him and feel amazing about myself and less angry for having snow down my pants and underwear and in my mittens.

and ps my pants are still wet and he busted all the loose cigarettes that were in my pocket too.

new favorite karaoke write-up.

i’m fucking off on the family today for my nana’s birthday because i don’t want to go to no damn casino no more. one of the very first times that my brother dragged me to a casino, i swore at this woman for taking one of my machines and she threatened to have me kicked out so i gave her way more attitude and sat there playing the machine all the while she sassed me to her friend and i kept mumbling rude things under my breath the entire time because it was a matter of pride and i was in the right. but it was ok because she lost a lot of coins to that machine and everytime she pressed the button and nothing happened in her favor i was thinking ha ha ha in my head like a mean teenager.

people get very emotional about gambling and when other people get emotional, i too get emotional for the sake of getting emotional and then i start swearing at old ladies.

so i am not in the mood for that today and i called my nana friday nite and said my happy birthday hello speech and so on and not like they will miss me anyway not unless i was a plastic bucket of coins or i was a slot machine.

i think my brother is ditching also though last minute my mum will probably convince him to go and he’ll go and then i’ll look even more of an asshole.

le sigh.

well, the way i see it i am doing everyone a favor in not going because if i go i’ll want to drink and i will whine and complain about it and be moody and the drinks are expensive there and i’ll feel like i am in casino wal-mart hell.

me drunk and not attractive-looking. i feel like i have let my “sexy” self go photograph-wise and i prefer looking stupid in pictures like ha ha those blog reader boner guys want sexy raymi and now look what they have to look at pfffffffft.

anyway.

i never liked sundays.

i do not like wal-mart anymore.

we went there tonite to go to the mcdonald’s because finding neverland was sold out so we had to eat garbage to get over our sadness.

anyway, the female’s restroom totally depressed me. there was piss on every toilet seat. a lot of fucking piss. and some blood even. and there wasn’t any toilet paper either.

all the mcdonald’s employess were total loafters with their cellfones in their hands like annoying 16 year olds talking about marijuana and all these dumb street fights that never happened and they fucked up our order and my double cheeseburger was made all wrong.

i don’t like feeling like i am the prettiest girl on the planet when i go places and i usually end up feeling that way when i go to wal-mart and fuck you for being shocked by reading this because you feel the exact same way at wal-mart too so shut up.

oh and if you say i don’t go to wal-mart because you are a millionaire or whatever you are a lying piece of shit or you are paris hilton or trying to be.

wal-mart during the day is at least tolerable.

at nite it’s this whole other gross vibe feeling happening and all the cashiers make you feel like you are dealing with homeless people, you know what i mean? like you feel sorry for them because the atmosphere is draaaab and none of them are smiling so making fun small-talk is pointless.

i liked wal-mart better when it was woolco.

i dunno why they haven’t given us a target yet. canadians would be all over that shit. at least you feel better about yourself after visitting a target. after visitting wal-mart i feel really bad for the world and my teeth feel yellow.

and i never understood why the in doors are on the left and the out doors on the right. it’s so strange. what the fuck wal-mart?

and why are there ashtrays all along the exterior walls near the entrance? i know why they’re there, i’m being rhetorical here. wal-mart is saying that mainly poor people on welfare shop at wal-mart and poor people on welfare smoke cigarettes like crazy. that’s fine and all but they could at least act like fancy nonsmokers shop there also and take down those offensive ashtrays so it doesn’t look like a parkdale poolhall that i am walking into with my neice, come on wal-mart, you insulting piece of shit.

sometimes i just want to give up on words altogether.

take mike’s oscar quiz challenge and get everything wrong more than me because i want to win because i am selfish.