The rarefied world of high-end, super-luxury SUVs is an interesting place to visit.
Aimed largely at the super-rich of the Middle East, North America and Chelsea football players, each manufacturer has gone to great lengths to make their own SUV experience as dramatic as possible. But may we politely suggest that the Bentley Bentayga has upstaged the lot.
It makes things like the $219,000 AMG GLS 63 and the quarter-of-a-million-dollar Range Rover Vogue SE look a bit off-Broadway. And the Lexus LX570 and that brash new Tesla Model X? Like pirated copies of Downton Abbey.
The Bentayga itself, meanwhile, is pure thespian; an epic stage drama performed by the Royal Shakespeare Company with none other than Dame Judi Dench herself in the lead role. And, just like any good theatre production, there's a fair bit of stage dressing going on.
From the moment we first saw the W12-powered Bentayga about 12 months ago, the world has been polarised over the look of the thing. It's a long way from what you'd call pretty, but there's an imposing quality clearly designed to put the peasants in their place. And it looks like a Bentley, notably those big, oval headlights and the jutting grille.
Whether anybody will ever drive a Bentayga off road is probably a moot point, but it remains that the big SUV has permanent all-wheel-drive and plenty of ground clearance as well as off-road helpers such as hill-descent and an electronic rear differential.
It's pretty big inside, too, with a huge cargo area and you get a spare tyre; a space-saver, but a proper tyre with air in it (and not a can of goop and a compressor).
You'd expect something with a base price of around $335,000 for the diesel-powered Bentayga to be pretty well equipped, and our test car was loaded to the gills with pretty much everything you can think of to bolt to a piece of transport.
But despite that price-tag, not everything is standard and the options list is not only huge, but also a bit coronary-inducing.
For instance, the head-up display is very clear and easy to read, but it doesn't come standard. To get it, you need to add the Touring Specification package which also gets you active cruise control, lane-assist, night vision and traffic-assist, but will rush you $16,240. Our car also had City Specification which bestows park-assist, autonomous braking, pedestrian warning, rear-traffic assist, an overhead camera view and traffic-sign recognition for a further $11,350.
But it gets weirder. You want the full Mulliner Driving Specification? Then be prepared to stump up another $40,800 for the 22-inch wheels and tyres, quilted leather seats (and it isn't a Bentley without them) and metal (rather than plastic) oil and coolant filler caps while the rear-seat entertainment package is a cool $14,770.
But our favourite has to be the two little Union Jack badges (one on each front door) which will add $1240 to the total and help takes the value of our test car to an on-the-road $474,200.
Price is, of course, the first question most people ask of the Bentayga, but clearly, it's one of those are-you-sitting-down answers.
A vehicle like this is all about comfort, so Bentley has made good use of the adjustable air-suspension to give a setting for most tastes. Our favourite was Sport, but there's also a super-soft setting and one somewhere in between. The Comfort (super-soft) setting is, in fact, a bit too soft and allows a level of floatiness that might just make some passengers queasy.
And regardless of where you set the suspension, the combination of a 2.5-tonne kerb mass, the ride height and 22-inch tyres means that there's always a very small degree of patter over small amplitude bumps; a common trait with air-suspension systems, not just Bentley's.
The steering is vice-free although the lane-assist can sometimes feel like it's fighting you a fraction. And while the Bentley can use its cameras to 'see' a white line and steer itself to keep you within that line, on a wide road like a freeway, you risk giving the impression of being drunk as the Bentayga steers you from side to side as it senses the road markings. It can miss the odd one, too, so it's definitely not hands-off.
The four-litre turbo-diesel V8 engine uses a pair of twin-scroll turbochargers and an electric compressor to give the engine a boost even from low revs. Bentley claims a 0-100km/h time of under five seconds which, frankly, seems a bit optimistic, but it remains that the engine's 320kW and 900Nm (from as low as 1000rpm) make it pretty perky and long-legged
And while a diesel engine in a Bentley might seem like Dame Judi has grown a moustache, in fact it's so refined and silent that you need to check the tachometer at the lights to make sure it's actually running.
And the efficiency cannot be argued with: We saw an average of 7.2 litres per 100km on a country run with no sparing of all those horses and occasional blasts up to the 5000rpm redline in the lower of the eight forward ratios.
The rest of the package is equally impressive. Details like the flat floor (no sill to step over) and the organ-stop vent controls that open and close the vents ever so gently, all add up to that theatre we were talking about.
The Dame would approve.
2017 Bentley Bentayga Diesel price and specifications
Price: From $335,000 (plus on-road costs)
Engine: 4.0-litre V8 twin-turbo/electric compressor diesel
Power: 320kW at 5000rpm
Torque: 900Nm at 1000rpm
Transmission: 8-spd automatic, AWD
Fuel use: 7.9L/100km
8 Comments
DanMan82 | 2017-04-11 01:13:33
One day I was taking a boot-load of rubbish to the local tip when I spotted a guy driving a relatively new (at the time) red Ferrari 360 which he had hitched a box trailer to, and was carefully attempting a reversing manouvre between the other cars so he could throw the contents of said trailer into the container below. At the time I remember wondering how much the towball kit for a Ferrari costs, and why the owner seemingly only has one car? Virtually any other car would be more appropriate for dropping rubbish at the tip. Or why not hire a ute to do it? It's not as though he was short on cash. This Bentley raises the same questions: I'm sure it's a lovely thing to sit in, but if you really want a super luxury car and enjoy the occasional off road adventure, why not buy a regular Bentley and a Landcruiser? Why risk scratching up your $500K car when you don't need to?
The truth | 2017-04-11 04:17:35
@DanMan. We used to have a Rolls Royce around Beaumaris area (Vic) in the 70's with a towbar, often seen towing a trailer or a small caravan. Traveling in style...
The truth | 2017-04-11 04:23:03
Typical VAG product drip feed pricing.
DJM61 | 2017-04-11 07:24:59
but there's an imposing quality clearly designed to put the peasants in their place ... ie rolling around the pavement laughing at the crass stupidly of the vehicle. I gather this is for the Polo set. Cucumber sandwiches anyone?
jabein | 2017-04-11 08:14:18
I have seen one of these on the road a few months ago. one of the ugliest things on wheels. looked like it was designed for north korea's dictator
Circling Buzzard | 2017-04-11 13:26:02
Another vehicle that exemplifies the vulgar extravagances of the look at me set A vehicle that makes no sense other than to allow those who want to flaunt their wealth to display their lack of good taste.
Herman the German Car Lover | 2017-04-11 21:29:30
Audi Q7 in an ugly suit.
David, Cairns | 2017-04-12 03:31:25
Your all jealous, I would have one. It may be ugly on the outside but what a beautiful interior. Woodgrain. Alright Im old but sick of interiors of polished aluminium and black artificial leather. This has so many colours and options that other manufacturers wont add on to their production lines because of cost. Real Leather, Real Wood Its on my list with an Aston when I win lotto??????