Melbourne, we need to talk about mobile phones in busy city department stores.
There are plenty of times when it's OK to inflate your digital bubble in the shops. I don't mind a woman whipping her device out to check the footy score while her partner ums and ahs over the Superstars and the Stan Smiths, or if her partner binges on Instagram while she's busy trying on dresses – as long as they don't wander into another shopper's way.
I've got no problem with someone who's shopping solo getting a bit of telephone support from a significant other while they finger racked T-shirts and trousers.
I can even handle people taking selfies in the change room to share for a virtual second opinion (as long as it's only selfies of yourself you're shooting…).
I guess you can even use your phone to check if another shop has got what you want in a better colour or at a cheaper price.
I get that your phone almost always rings as you step up to the cash register, and you have to answer it because it's probably your significant other looking for a bit of telephone support herself. At least smile and make apologetic gestures at the sales assistant before you answer it and thrust a handful of credit cards across the counter.
But I was in the men's room at Myer the other day and what I saw there disturbed me.
It was a small room with two, um, urns and two cubicles. The cubicles were occupied, and a line was forming. As I stepped up to take my turn I realised that the blokes in the cubicle queue were busy with their phones.
I know, a man standing around in a public toilet has to do something with his hands if he's not using the facilities.
But I found the presence of someone so close with a camera connected to the world wide web while I did the business, you know, disconcerting.
Was he streaming my stream? Periscoping my snorkel? Or was he getting ready to podcast once he got his turn in the cubicle?
Sorry chaps: there is a line when it comes to phone use in department stores. It's the line that divides the shopping area from the toileting area, and it should only be crossed with your phone stashed safely in your pocket, and your eyes fixed firmly on your shoes.
Matt Holden is a regular columnist.
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