Only selfish idiots stay to look a cyclone in the eye, and we're fools for watching them
We love these idiots. We, the media. You, our readers and viewers.
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John Birmingham
John Birmingham writes regular columns for Fairfax Media.
Teen who braved the crocs for his crush almost made me choke up my spider
Like everyone, when I first heard this story I thought him a massive idiot. But most of the coverage failed to mention that he jumped in not simply as a dare but, most crucially, to impress a girl.
Bibles, beer, two blokes in blue suits and the seven minutes I'll never get back
Maybe it was just my Twitter. Maybe this didn't break out anywhere else, but it did break out all over my timeline.
Ten years of wielding a blunt instrument
Bill Gates once said that people tend to overestimate what's possible in one year, and underestimate what's possible in 10. He was talking about technology, but think about your life 10 years ago and you'll probably agree that the super-nerd spoke the truth. I wrote my welcome column here at the Instrument 10 years ago today. I've filed just under a thousand times since then.
Trump shuts down borders and Turnbull sits right on the fence
When heads of state around the world were condemning Trump's de facto Muslim ban, Malcolm Turnbull insisted it wasn't his job to.
Going goose-stepping? Roll with the punches
Somebody goes and punches a Nazi, conveniently standing in front of a television camera, and all of a sudden nobody knows anything any more.
Outsider Pauline out-trolls Turnbull government to gain Trump invitation
How good is Pauline Hanson's trolling game? Way better than the government's, and that's saying something.
Ley claims are small change next to Centrelink debt shambles
The money Christian Porter is chasing from former welfare recipients is the same money that Sussan Ley spent catching flights when she accidentally bought her Gold Coast apartment. Public money.
Live the good life in 2017 before the world ends
So far 2017 is off to a cracking start. It hasn't killed any meme-worthy celebrities, and Trump isn't President.
Naughty or nice ... could it really be that simple?
If you don't believe in Santa, how can Santa believe in you? The big man gets lost in the annual culture war over Christmas. Maybe he's hiding, his jolly heart broken. It's odd, I know, to say he's missing when his merchandising imagery and pre-stocktake sale discount signage is everywhere. But Santa lives in our hearts first – his condo at the North Pole is just a residency requirement of the job – and our hearts are increasingly hostile places.
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