"What??" cried Venus Waterfall from her platform high among the branches of a towering swamp gum in Tasmania's Styx Valley.
"Di Natale's gone mad. He wants everyone to work four days a week?"
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Rethinking the working week
Using his address to "start a conversation," Greens leader Richard Di Natale asked the Press Club to imagine a four day week, and a work-life balance. (Vision courtesy ABC)
"Bloody kill a person, that would," agreed Furry Wombat-Smith, accidentally rolling a dreadlock in a cigarette paper and taking a drag on it.
"See, that's what happens when you let corporatists infiltrate you party," nodded Starlight Fullbright, stirring a pot of lentils bubbling contentedly on the communal campfire.
![Proposing a four-day working week: Greens leader Richard Di Natale.](/web/20170317153453im_/http://www.theage.com.au/content/dam/images/g/u/y/k/o/q/image.related.articleLeadwide.620x349.guyp3j.png/1489579933319.jpg)
"Used to be we'd save a river or a forest, spend a bit of time in Risdon Jail for trespassing and then we'd drop by Centrelink or the folks' place and spend a bit more time thinking about things and, you know, time'd pass nicely."
"We need Bob Brown back," said Wombat-Smith.
Far away in Canberra, Greens leader Richard di Natale has barely settled into his office, fresh from his speech at the National Press Club, when he gets a call from the chairman of a Very Large Mining Company.
"Richard, dear boy, fine, fine speech. Congratulations," gushes The Chairman.
"We have, as it happens, something of a downtime surplus now that the boom is tapering, shall we say.
"Could we assist in any way with your efforts towards reducing this great nation's working hours? A donation, perhaps?
"We are, of course, assuming that with fewer working hours, employees would not need to be compensated in quite the generous manner they have come to expect, and we'd be happy to have our people talk with your people about driving this matter forward. For all our sakes, you understand?"
The Chairman hangs up before Di Natale can respond that both Sweden and Finland have experimented with four day work weeks and six-hour days, without reducing wages appreciably.
He has no time to draw breath before a call comes from an acquaintance's son who works part-time in the Melbourne coffee shop industry.
"What are you trying to do to us, Doc?" demands the young barista.
"They've just stiffed us on our Sunday penalty rates, we need as many hours as we can get just to pay for Uber to get us home at night and you want us to cut back to, what, 30 hours a week or something?
"Jeez, I thought you were one of us, y'know?"
Di Natale's head is spinning. His chief of staff appears in the doorway.
"That went very well, we all thought," she says, brightly.
"Thanks," says Di Natalie. "Could you get me an aspirin and organise everyone to gather as much research as possible on international workplace trends. We might need to finesse this policy."
"Sorry, boss. We're all taking the day off. In your honour. You've got great ideas. Truly. "Oh, and there's a bunch of messages from chambers of commerce and employers' federations and things on the desk. See ya."