House Rules star Maddi Wright has sparked controversy after revealing on Instagram that she wishes she never breastfed her baby - and that she's a different person having switched her four-month-old bub to formula.
"I have more energy," she said. "I actually have gaps where bub is NOT on my body so I get to miss him a little. I have more time for my other son. I am more affectionate towards my husband. I don't dread going out in public."
Ms Wright's candid admission has polarised followers – and has been discussed in the media around the world.
It's a response Ms Wright predicted, noting in her post that she knew she would "cop a lot of negative comments." And yet the mother-of-two added that when it comes to breastfeeding, she felt it was important for other mums to know they "have a choice".
Ms Wright has been accused of being selfish, vain, lazy, superficial and caring more about her body than her baby. Commenters have slammed the mother-of-two for admitting that she can now enjoy her clothes again, "as I'm not leaking everywhere or having to wear uncomfortable maternity bras". And that she can visit the gym
"It's superficial posts like hers that make it ok for other mums to think that how they look in their clothes and going to the gym is more important than the lifelong health of their babies," one commenter wrote. "Wear your baby, go jogging in a sweater, screw the clothes. Your baby is more important than superficial nonsense."
As I read through the 300 or so comments on her post, and the countless others it's attracted as her story spread around the globe, it occurred to me that honesty around breastfeeding is okay – to a point.
It's okay if we follow a certain narrative – one I, admit, that I also followed when I shared my own breastfeeding story.
It's a narrative that goes a little something like this: "I wanted to breastfeed, I tried to breastfeed, I attempted X,Y and Z in order to make it happen, and it didn't. I grieved, I felt guilty, but ultimately I chose to bottle-feed because fed is best."
It's a narrative Laura Perlongo also shared in her recent clip about #bressure, and her decision to mix feed.
"I went through pumping, timing, shielding, massaging, more water, lactation cookies, lactation tea," she shared, before admitting that she started formula feeding when she couldn't produce enough milk for her baby.
And yet, when the story deviates from that path, the response to mums who choose to bottle-feed is far more critical.
On the one hand, we tell women it's about choice, that you should be able to choose how to feed your baby. On the other, we judge them if their choice is motivated by reasons other than not being able to breastfeed.
In a piece for Essential Baby, Australian writer Amy Gray shared that for her, the act of breastfeeding felt "physically abhorrent." While Ms Gray didn't view switching to formula as a "failure", she admits being concerned about judgement from others, learning to tell people she "couldn't" feed, as opposed to "wouldn't."
"It was easier to tell people, 'I can't' rather than I won't," she wrote.
In Ms Wright's case, admitting she "won't" and that she wishes she never did has resulted in harsh criticism.
And yet, among the reasons labelled as being superficial excuses for not breastfeeding, Ms Wright has shared that she no longer feels anxious or dread around leaving the house – and that she's a better mum to her two kids, and a better wife.
Can we really begrudge her that?
"There are so many different ways to be a mum. But what many mums forget is that MUM HAS TO BE HAPPY TOO," she said.
The reality is, the reason why mums choose not to breastfeed are multi-factorial. It's not always because we can't, or because we've tried everything and it's just not working out.
But can we really justify judging other women because we can't understand their reasons to bottle-feed, or because we simply don't agree with them? Because, really, what we're saying in those cases is: "It's okay to choose - if you're out of choices".
Honestly, I couldn't give a flying formula bottle how Ms Wright chooses to feed her baby. It's her body, her mind, her baby, her choice.