The Grand Prix returns to Melbourne this weekend, bringing car fumes, noise pollution and the celebration of a sexist bygone era that is Grid Girl culture. This year though, the latter of these things comes with a twist: 2017's Grand Prix Grid Girls will now be dressed in 'classier' costumes, presumably as part of a pre-emptive strike against articles just like this one.
The new uniforms have been sponsored by corporate client Rolex, with celebrity stylist Lana Wilkinson describing them as "fashionable and functional". And they certainly look good, even if (perhaps because?) they're channelling a bit of early '80s flight attendant. But can the problem of retrosexism really be solved by dressing it up in a pair of longer, more "fashion forward" culottes?
Because much like the cut of these new shorts, the concept of the Grid Girl is a throwback to another, less evolved time. Forgive me for being a little Helen Lovejoy here, but what message is being sent by continuing to employ women as decorative objects against the backdrop of male achievement, particularly at events that tout themselves as "family friendly"?
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A symbol of sexist inequality doesn't stop being so just because you put it in a "classier" outfit. Take away the frippery and fabric and you're left with nothing more than a well worn reminder of what role the majority of women are expected to occupy in the world of motorsports.
Some fans of the event haven't taken too kindly to this new change, with comments bemoaning what is seen as bowing to "political correctness". Unsurprisingly, most of these views are being expressed by men who see any withdrawal of female flesh from their line of eyesight as an assault on their civil liberties.
But it's interesting to note the views of one model employed as a Grid Girl. In promotional material advertising the changes, Millie Fayman endorses the new outfit, saying, "The eyes of the world are on Melbourne for the Australian Grand Prix, so to be in a fashion-forward outfit that is comfortable and classy is a relief."
I'm struck by the word "comfortable" there, much more so than the word "classy". Comfort and Grid Girls are not two things that have typically been synonymous with each other - but because the women employed to strut around racing grounds, smiling and chatting (and generally making male punters think there would be a world in which they're in with a chance), are professionals who are good at their jobs, there have been few public complaints about the ridiculous outfits they've been historically forced to wear. For Fayman to be feeling relieved about being allowed to be comfortable while working the grounds is pretty telling - not that the naysayers whining about changes to the program will take her opinion into account.
Still, the time has come to do away with Grid Girls altogether. And yes, I am aware that this means removing a portion of employment opportunities for women who would otherwise work at events like the Grand Prix, Summernats or the Clipsal 500.
This is unfortunate, but targeting gender inequality is about much more than just prioritising the rights of the individual over the collective. Women being able to find employment in industries that perpetuate sexist ideals and limited female engagement are not exemplars of equality, nor are they pioneers at the forefront of change; rather, they're finding some form of success in a field in which opportunities for all women are extremely limited.
There's a gross kind of entitlement to the idea that Grid Girls are necessarily part and parcel of car racing events. Punters do not purchase ogling rights with their tickets, no matter what they might think – and they certainly don't "deserve" to be titillated and flattered by the presence of women as ornaments. Women can do and be so much more than just the halftime entertainment – in sports all over the world, they are taking their place centrestage and excelling.
The inaugural season of the women's league of AFL has shown not only that women are contenders, but that they would much prefer to be playing sport and participating as competitors than being the dutiful supporters or eye candy. Even more powerful than that has been the response of young girls to the women's league. Now, there are clear pathways for them to move from junior to senior and then professional playing grounds where they can play as equals and be a part of sporting history. What an amazing thing to give our young girls! When I left the opening game between Carlton and Collingwood at Ikon Park, I heard an older women say, with emotion thick in her voice, "I never thought I would see this happen in my lifetime."
It's interesting to note that the South Australian government elected to stop sponsoring Grid Girls for the Clipsal 500 (although promotional models are still in attendance, some representing adult men's club The Firm). Instead, this year's event showcased six female drivers. It's disappointing to see a similar decision not taken with the Grand Prix, particularly as Melbourne's F1 Grand Prix head Andrew Westacott last year admitted that Grid Girls were outdated.
But then, they also chose the White Ribbon Foundation as their charity recipient in 2016, which is what people who don't really understand gender inequality and violence do when they're trying to make their organisation look good.
A bit similar to pretending to tackle sexism by putting a longer hemline on a pair of shorts, I guess.
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