Safety Lights Are For Dudes

For those of you who wanted to hear it, mine and James' very sweary "commentary" on Tomb Raider is up on my Jennie Reads Stuff tumblr. It basically consists of him trying in vain to teach me how to play the bloody game, and me making lots of noises of frustration.

There's also been some buggering about with my sidebar and profile on this blog of late, so they might be worth a second look if you feel like it.

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Since I am off work at the moment, and can't do anything too strenuous, I am playing lots of Wii games. The following reviews are based around the experiences of someone who is pretty crap at computer games anyway, and has been rendered even more crap by the inability to performn sudden movements.

Speed Racer

Normally this is one of my favourite games, but you have to do a lot of lateral jerky movements to perform attacks on your fellow racers, and this hurts like buggery after abdominal surgery. For anyone in the peak of health, though, this is a fabulous racing game. Yes, I know the film is utter bobbins, but I promise you, the game based on the film is one of the nicest racing games I have played, and supports up to four players racing against each other on any unlocked track and with any unlocked character.

Goldeneye 007

This is a rebuild of the N64 game with updated graphics, and is therefore just as playable. The multiplayer feature supports up to four players, playing with any Bond character from, like, ever, and a huge array of guns. We haven't fully explored it yet, because the control system takes a bit of getting used to, but it looks like it's going to be excellent. Two downsides: the multiplayer doesn't appear to have a co-op mode, and it's Daniel craig Bond and not-Sean-Bean as Alec. You still get Judi Dench M though :D

House of the Dead 2&3

Two games on one disc, lots of good old fashioned shoot-the-zombies stuff. You can play this as a co-op, and it's very silly and lots of fun.

Resident Evil 4

Great graphics, good game engine, too plot-heavy for my tastes. Also has a worryingly fetishised attitude to putting barely-legal-girls (whose tits gets remarked on by a character in the game) in boxes.

Alien Syndrome

Incredibly annoying camera angles ruin what otherwise would be a perfectly good sci-fi shoot-em-up, if a bit basic on the graphics front. But it only cost us three quid.

de Blob

Really silly, really fun game. Evil agents of greyness have sucked all the colour out of your city, and you have to bounce around splashing paint on things to put the colour back and free your fellow citizens. It's a very subversive and silly game, and I like it lots. The sequel comes out soon and is available for pre-order on amazon. It's on my wishlist (this is me, being subtle).

Tomb Raider: Anniversary

This is a port of the original game with updated graphics too. It's ruined by the most irritating control system in the world. For instance, you have to point the wii remote to aim your gun at stuff, but the camera angle moves so frantically that whenever you aim at something the thing you are aiming at has moved speedily away. Also rather plot heavy, and how in the hell you are supposed to work some of it out without a walkthrough is beyond me.

Overlord: Dark Legend

This ia another very silly game, but lots of fun. You play an evil overlord who has to take back his kingdom, and you have evil minions to do your bidding and everything. I wish it had multiplayer, because Holly and I both love it. It gets some rather harsh reviews on amazon, which I think is a bit unfair; it's probably not for the hardcore gamers, but it's a lot of fun, and that's what gaming is supposed to be, right...?



Anyway, speaking of fun, unbeknown to us, Mat put the voice recorder software on his phone going while James and I were playing Tomb Raider last night. Who wants me to edit the resulting commentary manageable length and put it up for you to listen to? Warning: contains strong language and scenes of mild peril ;)

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