Periods are used as an excuse by many a teenage girl to get out of school swimming sports.
Bugger that, says water ballet squad The Clams. They're promising a "bloody good time" at their sold-out Crimson Tide pool party this weekend, where 30 ladies in red swimsuits will perform in "a period drama" bookended by DJ sets at Northcote Aquatic and Recreation Creation Centre – all in the name of making menstruation fun.
![The Clams rose from the ashes of a feminist book club.](/web/20170319132808im_/http://www.theage.com.au/content/dam/images/g/v/0/4/i/n/image.related.articleLeadwide.620x349.guzcdt.png/1489725531977.jpg)
The Clams were born from the ashes of a feminist book club that formed in Melbourne just over a year ago.
"It quickly became apparent that we're not that good at reading the same book at the same time," says Francis van Beek, formerly a member of Wet Hot Beauties, a water ballet troupe in New Zealand that now boasts 90 members.
![The Clams' water ballet is choreographed by Holly Durant and Gabi Barton.](/web/20170319132808im_/http://www.theage.com.au/content/dam/images/g/v/0/4/i/p/image.related.articleLeadwide.620x349.guzcdt.png/1489725531977.jpg)
"My friends were intrigued after hearing about my stint as a water ballerina back in Auckland so it sort of became a long-running joke that we try water ballet instead."
For the past nine weeks The Clams have been rehearsing a 12-minute routine to a medley of songs representing "four distinct emotional phases of the menstrual cycle".
Their choice of theme came easily. "Destigmatising the period is a strong feminist issue," says van Beek. "We wanted the water ballet to be something we felt quite passionate about. It fit so well with synchronised swimming – synchronised periods, all the puns that can come with it are just fantastic."
The ballet is choreographed by Holly Durant and Gabi Barton, whose work has appeared at Dark Mofo, Sydney Festival and Midsumma.
![Talent pool: Members of The Clams include accountants, marketing professionals, musicians and photographers.](/web/20170319132808im_/http://www.theage.com.au/content/dam/images/g/v/0/4/i/o/image.related.articleLeadwide.620x349.guzcdt.png/1489725531977.jpg)
"I didn't think I'd find somebody who matched my outlandish vision for the show but they have been so amazingly on brief," says van Beek. "It's definitely more theatrical than traditional."
The Clams are not trained dancers. Among the members are accountants, marketing professionals, musicians and photographers, who have pooled their talents to contribute to the project in various ways.
"We even have a woman on the team who started her own sanitary startup," says van Beek. She's referring to Roslyn Campbell, founder of Tsuno, a sanitary pad company that gives half its profits to projects for women in developing countries.
It was Campbell who suggested The Clams donate profits from their one-off show to Sharing the Dignity, a non-profit organisation that provides sanitary items and toiletries to disadvantaged women around Australia.
Saturday's weather forecast is a warm 31 degrees – perfect for a dip – and guests are invited to dive right in while DJ Whiskey Houston spins tunes before and after the performance.
Van Beek hopes The Clams can help dispel the notion that women are innately competitive with each other.
"If we're going to achieve equality we need to work together help each other out and support and encourage each other," she says. "This project is a microcosm of that."