Former Essendon coach James Hird says he first contacted depression helpline beyondblue in 2015, but reached his breaking point in January "after years of continual stress".
In his new job as a regular columnist for News Corp, Hird writes that after taking an overdose of sleeping pills he spent five weeks at the psychiatric facility Albert Road Clinic. He said it was "life-changing".
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Following a suspected overdose, players showed up to training and kept mum about their distressed coach. Vision courtesy Seven News, Melbourne.
"I am not ashamed to say that I needed the care I received and without it I do not know where I would be," Hird wrote in the Herald Sun. "Depression is more than just sadness.
"Certainly, it was no holiday camp but provided a supportive, welcoming, safe and caring environment and allowed me to receive the treatment I needed. I am eternally grateful for the outstanding professional support I received from the nurses and doctors.
![James Hird says he spent five weeks at a psychiatric facility.](/web/20170318232650im_/http://www.smh.com.au/content/dam/images/g/u/k/y/x/k/image.related.articleLeadwide.620x349.gv00i6.png/1489695218272.jpg)
"In 2002, I fractured my skull and required multiple metal plates in my head. I, for one, would prefer multiple skull fractures to the feeling of deep clinical depression. My first call to beyondblue in 2015 was an admission I needed help but it took until January 4, 2017, when I took too many sleeping tablets, to truly accept that I could not dig myself out of this hole."
Hird said that four years as a senior coach and two in the wilderness had changed his perspective on life and the game.
"I was not a student of the football in 2016, and have some catching up to do, but I look forward to engaging with footy people again and immersing myself in the great game of AFL."
In the wake of the suspension of Essendon players after the doping scandal that happened during Hird's tenure as coach, Hird said he hoped that his old club could again find form on the field.
![James and Tania Hird in 2006.](/web/20170318232650im_/http://www.smh.com.au/content/dam/images/g/v/0/0/w/s/image.related.articleLeadNarrow.300x0.gv00i6.png/1489695218272.jpg)
"This season, Essendon, led by John Worsfold and Dyson Heppell, will bring its supporters a new start and incredible joy," he said. "We all hope for a premiership, but just to see the red and black play with its best players and unencumbered will be something I, for one, am looking forward to."
He also thanked his wife Tania, and his family for their support and care.
"I have never seen or witnessed a person as strong as Tania. Her unconditional, all-encompassing love, positivity, strength and ability to keep rising to the challenges that have been put in front of our family has been extraordinary.
"It is the unconditional love and care alongside the professional attention that has given me a second chance at life. I am an extremely lucky man to get a second chance and I am embracing it with everything I have. The Essendon theme for this year is about their comeback story. I can't wait to watch the comeback for many reasons."
If you are troubled by this report, experiencing a personal crisis or thinking about suicide, you can call Lifeline 131 114 or beyondblue 1300 224 636, or visit lifeline.org.au or beyondblue.org.au