Are you ready for Christmas party season?
And so the annual round of work Christmas parties begins. Well, at least they begin for other people. I rarely go. The invitations begin arriving in September. I decline them all, even the ones at recently opened, hatted venues.
When December rolls around, I’m so tired I barely have enough energy to put one foot in front of the other. Shindig after shindig involving cheap grog and bad food would only tip me over the edge.
As a freelancer, I’m lucky because I genuinely don’t know whether on the day I will be able to attend. If I have an important deadline looming, or a project that’s on, I simply can’t go.
So I always say, thanks very much for thinking of me, and also for the work you have given me over the year/the contacts and material for my stories/the services you have provided me, but December is one of my busiest times and it’s likely I’ll have to work that day/night. Or wash my hair.
I don’t understand why people don’t have the annual office bash in January, when work’s quieter and you’re refreshed after a few days off at Christmas. The sun’s shining, you’re not fretting about finding time to buy presents, or who’s showing up for lunch on Christmas day. It’s a new year, you’re energy’s high, you’re relaxed. To me, that’s the perfect time to throw a party, not at the business end of the year.
I’m often invited to “media parties” held for journalists at this time of year. The idea is that if you go, you’ll meet fantastic contacts you can call down the track when you need a quote for a story. But it’s not up to these contacts as to whether they can talk to me for these stories. And you’re certainly not allowed to contact them directly. You have to go through the media team.
Whether or not a spokesperson talks to me for a story does not depend on whether I’ve attended the Christmas party; it depends on whether it suits the business’ strategic interest to appear in the article.
There’s a line of argument that suggests that by attending these parties you’ll be able to build better relationships with the talent you’ll quote in stories down the track. But I fail to see why standing around chatting awkwardly to people with whom you have nothing in common helps build relationships. I find it excruciating, and I suspect others do too.
So this year, instead of spending a fortune dragging your team to some restaurant or pub peddling Christmas party packages with prices inflated especially for the silly season, why not take a different tack:
- Ask your staff what they want to do. If they want to take the traditional route, go right ahead and make that booking. If not, put a few other options on the table and hold a vote.
- Give your staff an extra half-day off in the days before Christmas instead of requiring them to turn up unpaid, out of hours for the work party. If you do have a work party, hold it during rather than after work hours.
- Don’t make the Christmas party compulsory. Sure, not everyone has my Grinch-like view of the annual work torture chamber bash. Some people love them. Let them attend the party, and if other people don’t want to go, don’t make them. Just talk about them behind their back at the do.
- Donate the money you would have spent on the Christmas party to a charity chosen by staff.
- Make it optional for partners to attend. Again, some people love to show off the trophy wife at the end of year party – after all, that’s what trophy wives are for. Other people do not want their embarrassing/boring other half ruining their chance of potentially finding their next spouse at the event.
It’s always important to remember at this time of year that Christmas doesn’t mean much if you’re a Jew, Muslim, Buddhist, or a member of any one of the many religions for which December 25 holds no special significance.
So don’t shove secret Santa and kris kringle down the throats of those who could care less. Let those who want to celebrate do so to their inebriated heart’s content. And leave the rest of us out of it. We’re too busy trying to find lumps of coal for the kids’ sacks on Christmas day.
What do you think? Are work Christmas parties a chore or a pleasure?
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