"Pardon me", says Professor Kelly as he closes his eyes and pauses, in an attempt perhaps to pretend none of this is happening. Meanwhile, their mother grabs the older child by the arm and unceremoniously yanks her onto the floor, before dragging her and the baby walker towards the door.
So then they asked if we were taking our kids home early with us. We looked horrified and reminded them we were paying them to look after them. And then small one cried that she wanted to come home (ah ha, so you do understand Spanish you little beast!) so we took them with us, leaving a mountain of the detestable party bags rammed full of sweets.
I took the children for their first eye test last week. On reflection, I was more concerned about toddler meltdowns than the end result, and we were all looking forward to piling into a cafe afterwards for two babyccinos and a (self-congratulatory) mummy latte.
I went off on maternity leave a mess of insecurities. The interim editor was a brilliant journalist, and at the time unencumbered with inconvenient children - as I was about to be. What if she turned out to be better than me, or more popular? What if the circulation figures went up - what if they gave her my job?
I was going to write a 'great places to go this summer' feature, but I'm a parent, I know the reality. There's actually a whole year spreading out before us, full of half term breaks, the occasional non-pupil day, a vast summer vacation and plenty of sneaky bank holidays.
Fairy tales did us step parents a huge disservice with tales of evil step mums. Both Cinderella and Snow White suffered cruelty at the hands of their respective step mums and unfortunately that image has stuck with children. After all, as children we believe fairy tales to be real!
Running is not my thing, school runs is the only running I do. Gyms do not appeal to me either. I dusted the old water rower but found I can't get any enjoyment rowing in my living room surrounded by piles of laundry and lego blocks.
We learn new school runs and hitherto unknown neighbourhoods become focal points in our lives. Our weekends are punctuated by social events with families who were strangers to us until a few weeks ago.
That was, undeniably, the main thought running through my head in the first few months after my eldest, Little O, was born. That, and 'what the hell have I done', 'where did I put the sodding Sudocrem' and wondering when my downstairs would stop feeling like the aftermath of a nuclear explosion.
Flexible working itself requires highly sought-after skills, and we should not be afraid to draw this to the attention of recruiters and employers. We will need to prove ourselves and the value we bring. We are a flexible working PR and Communications consultancy, and here are some of the lessons we have learnt from our own experience:
I felt angry at nobody other than myself; I should have pushed harder so that it hadn't got to this stage. The person who needs me most, I had let down badly and no matter how many supportive words of there being nobody who could fight harder for this boy, it does not soothe the pain I feel right now.
The first was a pre-natal group. I quickly bonded with Louise, Caroline, Emma, Jackie and Julie and we started meeting in each others' houses. When our babies arrived, it was clear that mine had health issues and developmental delays, while theirs were all within the 'normal range' (whatever that may be).
As a mother of three children under ten, it dawned on me through extensive google searches that there were no original songs to bridge the gap between nursery rhymes and mainstream pop. Nothing that children could really identify with or hope to have a frame of reference for.
I sometimes look at this little dude, not even 11 months old but with the greatest zest for life I've ever known in any human being, and feel his enthusiasm smashing me in the face and screaming at me to start enjoying myself more.
I sometimes look at this little dude, not even 11 months old but with the greatest zest for life I've ever known in any human being, and feel his enthusiasm smashing me in the face and screaming at me to start enjoying myself more.
I was scrolling through Facebook when I noticed a post on a local mums group within my area. A lady was asking if she could share her business page. This particular business page offered a specific service that was free of charge.
How can we harness the power in music, to help us on our parenting journey? How can we best use music to bond with our children, to share joyful moments, to play and to comfort? How can we teach musicality?