Turned my repeating DNA sequence into a 3D Model [OC]

test822 · 2017-03-12T09:41:54+00:00

*looks closely*

hmm....

we're gonna have to revoke your health insurance

arbili · 2017-03-12T19:59:32+00:00

There are thousands of pics of this cat and his crew online. Just google manny the selfie cat and you'll find its Instagram. I can't link because mods are literally hitler and auto-remove links to instagram.

Jaerivus · 2017-03-12T21:39:43+00:00

But what do you eat after you throw that away?

beyonceisacowboy · 2017-03-12T15:30:23+00:00

A watermelon.

And I'll tell ya why. You're walking down the street, someone tries to rob you. "Gimme all your money!". You don't. You don't have any money. You only have a watermelon. Tell them that. They'll give you a funny look, a sigh of disappointment, then walk away. Robbers have no interest in watermelons. It's a proven fact.

So you keep walking. The sounds of scuffling feet grab your attention. There's a basketball game going on. Not one second later you hear a POP! Someone killed the basketball. Everyone is sad. You casually walk into the situation, whip out your watermelon, then, with an air of cool confidence, say "hey guys it's alright, I got it covered". Watermelons make the perfect basketball replacement. It's a proven fact. You play a few games, not too aggresively, but not too amateur either. The vibe gets intense. Everyone's attention is on you and your mad watermelon skills. The women are giddy with joy, the men are blowing you kisses. With a quick nod and a warm smile, you resume your travels.

You see a crackhead passed out on the sidewalk. "ARE YOU OKAY?!". No response. You spy a crack pipe nearby and place it into their mouth. You put your watermelon inside ever so softly, and light it up. The fumes release. The chemicals hit. He jolts awake. "What have I done?!". He runs off into the horizon. Later on you discover that he ran all the way to Brazil, where he cleaned up and started a successful business of breeding and selling parakeets. Watermelons have been known to help with crack addiction. It's a proven fact.

You're getting tired. There's a coffee shop close by. You step in. You order a venti latte. "$4.75" she says. Bummer. You still have no money. You start to walk away. "Wait a second... Is that... Is that...A watermelon?". Her gaze is intense. Her interest is piqued. You present the truth. She goes nuts. "Omigod omigod can I hold it, CAN I HOLD IT??". You submit to her desire. She's thrilled, elated, even slightly aroused. Baristas LOVE watermelons. Proven fact. "Omg that was so awesome, btw that venti you ordered, it's on the house". Boom. You win.

Outside again. Strolling briskly. You hear screams. You hear crying. You hear sirens. The mall is on fire. "MY BABY IS INSIDE MY BABY IS INSIDE!!". There's an older woman freaking out. Her baby is inside. "What's going on?" you ask a nearby policemen. "Her baby is inside" he says. He won't go save it because he's allergic to fire. "I can't save it, I'm allergic to fire" he tells you. "Where are all the firemen?" you handsomely inquire. "It's their day off".

Duty calls. You run into the mall. It's on fire. You throw your watermelon at Sears. Watermelons are made of water, so the flames extinguish. You throw it at Hot Topic. You throw it at Ross. You throw it at every single store. Taco Bell is giving out free tacos, so you eat a few. Then you find a baby in the bathroom. Seems okay, so you put him in your pocket. The mall is totally dead and you get bored, so you leave. You remember that you have a baby in your pocket, and you also remember that lady saying her baby was inside. "I think this is yours?" you say as you hand the baby to her. She's pretty happy.

The day is almost over. You feel a little lonely, so you talk some shit with your watermelon. It's a good friendship. It listens well. All in all, a fairly good day. Nothing went wrong, all thanks to your watermelon.

Fatty_McFatts · 2017-03-12T17:29:56+00:00

Emperor Zord's body had turned to dust.

The chiseled, blonde idiot continued on with his ranting. "Good people, my name is Galarn. And this day your oppression is over. Put down your weapons and you are free to go. I mean none of you harm. We know that Emperor Zord had used his enthrallments and that you are not here of your own free will."

Enthrallments. This guy really was an idiot. Zord's dark charms only lasted a few days. He only used them on his military recruits to ensure their loyalty before allowing them to be armed in his presence. Zord had been powerful, but the idea that he could keep thousands of people under his magic control on a daily basis...this Galarn guy really had no clue. This was my twenty-fourth year in the Empire, my entire life, and Zord had never bothered to waste his magic on me.

"Go and tell the people of this news. Tell the prisoners here that they are free. Today we usher in a new era for all of Avalon," Galarn said. The handful of soldiers in the room turned and walked out.

I was left alone with Galarn. We were in one of Zord's personal rooms. Most people never got back here, but I had spent my whole life in this castle. My mom had been one of Zord's "girls." I grew up in the kitchens downstairs and Old Glenda, one of the cooks, had taken me in as her own when my mom "disappeared." Glenda taught me everything I knew, and how Zord liked his food. Weird tastes, Zord had refused to eat anything but organ meats and vegetables. When Glenda had gotten too old to cook, I took over. A few years later, Zord had taken a liking to me and I was in charge of most of his to day to day personal affairs. Cooking his livers and kidneys, became pressing his robes, became scheduling his day. Now he even had me in charge of hiring and firing for the castle.

When I saw how Zord treated his girls, it was clear how my mom had disappeared. Zord had instructed me to make two of his girls disappear in the shark pit. Apparently, they had giggled in a way that he didn't like during one of their rendezvous. I hadn't followed through of course. Instead, I had made them shave their heads so they wouldn't be recognized, and sent them packing in the middle of the night with a pouch of gold. I had warned them to get far away and never come back or I wouldn't be able to help them anymore.

Galarn looked me up and down. "My good sir. You are Zord's most trusted servant. You must know all of his true evils. Tell me of all his dastardly deeds so we can set them right. Together. For the people of Avalon."

I sighed. "You're an imbecile."

"But whatever do you mean?"

"How do you think your sword even pierced Zord's skin? You're certainly aware of his magical defenses," I asked.

"Ah yes, but you know as well as I do that Zord's dark magic would not work against one who wields a blade with a true heart," Galarn said.

"Ugh, the true heart nonsense. I can't believe the people are still passing around that bullshit. No you idiot, its because I've been slowly feeding him contraroot for the last month. Bit by bit. Upping the dosage just slowly enough so he wouldn't notice," I said.

"Ah ha! Well then you have also done your kingdom a great service. We shall bring a new era to Avalon together." He beamed a smile and went to clasp his hand on my shoulder. I pushed him away in to the center of the room.

"No. You idiot, you've done nothing and risked everything. You really don't understand do you? I'll explain it slowly. You can't kill Zord with just a sword. He's not dead at all. As soon as you struck him down he began to regenerate. His phylactery is in the basement of this castle. He's probably on his way back up here right now," I said. "Tomorrow night was the night. He always drinks on Thursdays. I was going to wait until he had finished his second bottle of wine and put everything into motion. First the phylactery and then him."

Galarn gasped and then tightened his breastplate. "Well then it is simple, we shall smite him down again. Together my friend. For the Kingdom. For Avalon."

"I'm afraid not. Now that his body has reformed, the contraroot won't stop his magic. He'll be invulnerable again. You're not leaving here alive. And he's going to suspect that I was the one poisoning him. It will take a long time for me to reestablish his trust. Thanks for that. But no matter what, step one on that path is going to have to be taking care of you."

I pulled the lever that released the floor over the shark pit. Galarn tumbled down. His screams were still echoing as Emperor Zord walked in to the room, and shot me his crooked grin.

SimonCallahan · 2017-03-12T15:20:44+00:00

What if you shit yourself on a date in cold weather?

raw_monster · 2017-03-12T19:10:33+00:00

Shyness comes off as "I'm better than everyone and definitely too good to talk to you." Almost always the opposite is true. More like, "You have no interest in what I have to say for I am a worm and know only worm things."

Actual narcissists who believe themselves to be better than most have a way of announcing their better-ness, sometimes subtly, other times not so much.

Monaoeda · 2017-03-12T16:58:03+00:00

TLDR: Turkey has a referendum coming up in April to give Erdogan more powers.

Polls showed him winning for awhile but he's been sliding in the polls for awhile and now it looks like it's going to be a clear rejection of the referendum.

He's gone full retard over this. For example news reporters have been sacked for openly stating they will vote no in the referendum.

Erdogan is also less popular in Turkey than people realise, the last election he couldn't form a government as he didn't get enough sport, conveniently for him there was trouble in the South-East in the country (Kurdish areas) around the same time and that pushed him over the line in a second election.

His whole goal has been to paint everyone against them, trying to hold Turkey back from some glory they are apparently owed, AKP (Erdogan's party) popularity comes partially as a response to this "us against everyone" style in large parts down to the US supported military coup in 1980. Since then AKP has been portraying itself as some defender of the country bullshit.

Anyway, even though it's actually illegal to campaign abroad by Turkish law, a law Erdogan himself signed when he was Prime Minster and the fact that there is a law against all foreign governments campaigning in Turkey...because Turks abroad (these are people born in other countries, specifically The Netherlands and Germany (these are generally 3rd generation whose parents came decades ago) are allowed to vote in Turkish elections/referendums and are usually strong supporters of AKP he's desperate for them to support his referendum.

Now most of the trouble yesterday happened because since it's technically illegal the Turkish authorities basically lied to the Dutch authorities about their purpose of visiting the country...they said it was for community reasons like setting up concerts and stuff. Seeing them break that promise in Germany, The Netherlands cancelled the Turkish's PM right to land in the country and turned the plane back.

Afterwards Turkey sent the Minster of Family Affairs who was still in Germany to cross the border into The Netherlands (with armed guards...which by the way is a huge violation of international law) without informing them and tried to essentially get to the consulate without telling the Dutch authorities or cooperating with them.

She was declared persona no grata, a kind of extreme diplomatic form of "get the fuck out" and she was escorted by anti-terrorism police out of the country and is essentially banned from ever returning to the country for that. She basically has no diplomatic immunity if she ever returned and would be arrested.

Also a tiny bit more background. The Netherlands was the first country to ever recognise the the new Turkish states independence after WW1.

During The Netherlands own war of independence in the 1700s, they had a famous saying which basically translates to "better to be Turkish than papal".

Erdogan basically destroying his countries international reputation, the relations with one of, if not the, oldest ally the country has...all for some desperate internal power bid.

This idiot needs to go, immediately.

JustHach · 2017-03-12T21:02:41+00:00

Did you ever hear the tragedy of Darth Plagueis The Wise?

mportal · 2017-03-12T21:33:22+00:00

but then again, no

ahmediqmah · 2017-03-12T02:37:38+00:00

-Dice.com for IT jobs
-indeed.com
-careerbuilder.com
-idealist.org for nonprofit jobs
-websites for your local and state governments will usually have a job board
-usajobs.gov for federal government
-Linkedin.com has a jobs function too
-and surprisingly, craigslist, although you have to be extra cautious

Edited for formatting

-honey_bee_ · 2017-03-12T21:12:26+00:00

I taught the sweetest, shy lille guy. He was super gentle and I had to work hard to get him to feel comfortable and confident enough to contribute in lessons. He would never do anything wrong and avoided conflict at all costs. We had a great working relationship, and even now 4 years on he we high five in the hallways and he has stopped by my classroom to say hi and have a chat.

His mother came into my room and her body language and face immediately alerted me to the fact she was different. She asked aggressive, condescending questions about things out of my control like the length of the term, the school uniforms and the choice of textbooks. I politely replied to them as best I could. Then she started ripping into the other kids with really hideous and unfair comments, one in particular (who had a disorder). I replied with variations of "I cannot comment on other students due to confidentiality". The poor kid was standing next to her sighing, tugging on her arm and quietly saying "please don't" and "please stop" under his breath.

He came to class the next day looking embarrassed and timid. I never spoke to him about it directly, but I made sure to let him know that her actions do not reflect on him by continuing to support and care for him unconditionally. I don't know how such a gentle child came from a firecracker of a mother!

Hyemp · 2017-03-12T17:59:45+00:00

Sure - not a lot to it quite honestly. I was stoned in college delivering a pizza to a house on a farm. Some stoned 20 something answered the door and said he only had exact change and he was sorry for no tip. Then he proceeded to hand me a kitten as he said, "but you can have a kitten as a tip!" and I very highly said, "alright maaaan. cool" and here we are 17 years later.

Z3R0C001 · 2014-01-02T03:38:05+00:00

When you got drunk and passed out, did people draw two dicks on your forehead instead of one?

Ebuthead · 2017-03-12T19:01:34+00:00

It's called the PC-bo effect

lucency001 · 2017-03-12T17:52:49+00:00

gold

edit: thanks I'll make u proud

LockeProposal · 2017-03-12T16:46:39+00:00

These would be perfect for /r/HistoryAnecdotes! And you already have a source - maybe consider cross posting :)

Edit: Fixed my link!

30minutesofmayo · 2017-03-12T17:06:37+00:00

When my dad passed away I went through my phone and found a bunch of voicemails I never deleted from him... Most of which were him asking for help with his computer. I never thought I'd appreciate his technological caveman status until I got to hear his voice the day after he passed. And you can't help but laugh through the tears as he complains how "Mozilla got back on my computer I must have a virus!"

Let a few calls go to voicemail and save them. You'll be glad you did.

Trisassyjcc · 2017-03-12T19:40:49+00:00

I work as a software tester and have done so for almost 17 years so I have become my family's de facto IT. My dad, who had previously been a nuclear engineer, got skin cancer and got really sick. A few weeks before he would end up passing away, he called me while at work.
"Trisassyjcc. I have two emails." "Ok dad, what do you want to do with those emails? Delete them?" "No, trisassyjcc. I have two emails." "Ok dad, do you want to forward them? I can show you how to forward them." "Ok trisassyjcc, I have two emails." The tears silently streaming down my face at this point as I realized his former analytical mind that I had inherited was now ravaged by the cancer. Getting through the rest of that day at work wasn't easy.

EDIT: Reddit gold. Man, if I wasn't crying already, I'd be crying! Thank you kind Internet stranger for wanting to put a smile on my face. You get an Internet hug!

PM_Me_Nudes_or_Puns · 2017-03-12T07:27:24+00:00

Conception.....wait

Edit: 1st time Gold on a Inception pun

hubricht · 2017-03-12T17:05:33+00:00

NOTE: I'm currently 36 minutes in and will be editing this as I watch. I should mention that this post will be laden with spoilers, so read at your own risk.

So far, I feel that the storyline has been maintained pretty well. There are a few sequences that are questionable, and I found myself wondering why they were included, but again the progression is rather smooth for taking such an expansive series and condensing it down into two hours. The shot where a character is speaking over action from another scene has kind of worn out its welcome at this point. Am sad that the whole Tuco arc was excluded, but I understand why.

41 minutes in

I thought Skyler finding out about Walt's meth business happened way too quickly. Previously, she was only suspicious because Walt admits that he has multiple cellphones in a morphine-induced haze, but then they immediately jump to her wanting to leave him because she thinks he is having an affair.
The transition between Walt and Jesse cooking meth in the RV to Walt working for Gus was very smooth. Although, it didn't make much since that (because of the edit) Walt immediately suspects that Gus will get rid of him once Gale learns his methods. RIP Gale.
Saul's scenes were interwoven perfectly. It's easy to see why Bob Odinkirk got his own spinoff series.
The music that they've added over the edit keeps with the theme of the show, and is never really distracting.
The editors handle timeskips with A LOT of montages, so be ready for that.
Skyler doesn't seem to mind the meth money once she sees them band$
Again, it's very bizarre that the editors decided to set up Walt and Skyler's arrangement over the money so early on.

60 minutes in

The time between Jesse agreeing to work with Walt and him being coerced to kill Gale made no sense at all with the edit. Jesse isn't a killer, and the span of time between him meeting Walt at the arcade and agreeing to kill a human being was sloppy.
Saul mediates Walt and Skyler's arrangement over money laundering. They decide to buy the car wash, and Skyler becomes complicit with Walt's meth business.
Hank is randomly in a wheelchair with no explanation?
We're shown the first time that Walt becomes aware that Hank is on his trail. This was great timing and a smooth transition to the next act.
Walt inquires about Jesse's wellbeing after he murders Gale in cold blood, which then transitions to Walt's car ride with Hank where he divulges his lead on Gus Fring and the Chinese electric company.
Walt has cuts and bruises all over his face with no explanation.
The car crash transition to Gus telling Walt that he's fired, and that Hank will "need to be taken care of," was sloppy.
Walt sitting on his back porch with the gun he purchased - very significant in the show - not very significant here.
Walt crafts the bomb that will kill Gus Fring in the retirement home, and the next scene is the news report saying three people were killed in the blast. Not a very smooth ending for such a huge story arc.
Saul again with the comedic relief - kind of hackneyed at this point.
Walt approaches Mike about a ceasefire after Gus is killed. I suppose this was as good a place as any to begin the next arc.

90 minutes in

Walt and Jesse's meeting with Saul about going forward with their own meth business.
The squad (now including Mike) watch a fumigation company preparing a house and decide that it will be a perfect setting for cooking meth. They set up Vamanos Pest Co.
FUCKING TODD makes an appearance. I had forgotten that he meets Walt at this point in the series (we're in Season 5 now, for reference).
Another cooking montage - but again, the music is pleasant and fitting enough that it's not overly annoying.
Walt's official transition to Heisenberg, and the money laundering via the car wash is in full effect.
A brand spankin' new Challenger rolls up in the White family's driveway with no explanation. I remember this being a big argument between Walt and Skyler.
Were these montages in the original series? I don't remember. Have I been making this up?
I realize that Skyler's affair with Ted has been skipped entirely. I feel like it should have been mentioned, at least.
Skyler shows Walt the pallet of money. She tells him that there isn't any way she can launder it all, and that she wants out of the meth business.
Mike informs Walt that the DEA - and Hank - has been tracking their enterprise. Mike wants out; Jesse tells Walt that he wants out too.
Jesse's car ride where he's tossing bands of $100 bills out the window. This begins his mental breakdown that later leads to him confronting Walt in his home. I thought this transition was sloppy without proper context.
Walter tells Skyler that, like her, he's out of the business too. An awkward, but optimistic silence ensues.
The pivotal scene on Walt's back porch when he has the family over for lunch. This is where Hank realizes that he's been looking for Walt because of the Walt Whitman book signed by Gale. HOT DAMN, here we go.
Reminder: Dean Norris gives a phenomenal performance from here on out.
Walt realizes that his copy of Leaves of Grass is missing. Panic ensues, as we proceed onward towards one of the greatest episodes in television history.
Jesse's interrogation scene. This happened rather abruptly and for seemingly no reason - we didn't see an arrest scene after his car ride even though we know it's because he was caught with millions of dollars.
Hank and Walt sit in a poorly-lit living room, and Hank prattles on about a summer job he once had. He says it's better than "catching monsters"
Walt asks Skyler what's wrong with Hank. She replies that she thinks he has a stomach bug. I didn't think this scene was necessary at all.
Walt randomly discerns that he's been bugged by the DEA. I never really understood this scene in the television series either, it seems like an odd revelation to suddenly have.
Walt confronts Hank about the GPS tracker on his car. Hank assaults Walt. Hank tells him to bring the kids over to stay and they will talk. Walt says that will not happen, and that Hank should "tread lightly."
Walt records a video to blackmail hank. Hank and Marie watch the video. OOOH boys, we getting the setup for Ozymandias.
Goddamn Huel eyeballing those stacks like a fat kid in a candy store. Walt heads out into the desert to bury his fortune.
Walt calls Todd and wants to do business with his uncle, which begins the next arc. I thought this was good timing, considering there is only ~40 minutes left in the edit.

120 minutes + 7 minutes in

Walt inexplicably tells Uncle Jack that he wants Jesse killed, but to do it "quick and without suffering." I agree with everyone else that Jesse's role in this edit has been butchered. There is no context for this scene.
Uncle Jack tells Walt that in exchange for the hit, he wants Walt to cook for him. I forgot how much I liked Uncle Jack, he's a different sort of threat entirely from Gus.
Walt is sent a photo showing that Jesse has found his hidden stash out in the desert. OZYMANDIAS TIME.
Walt drives out to the desert in a panic after Jesse threatens to torch the money. The relationship between Walt and Jesse has reached a breaking point.
Walt rushes out into the desert with a gun as he frantically searches for Jesse, but realizes that he's been set up.
As a black suburban approaches, Walt calls Uncle Jack out of desperation and asks for his help knowing that he's about to get caught. Uncle Jack and the boys are en-route with lots and lots of firepower.
Walt realizes that Jesse has been flipped by Hank and the rest of the DEA. As Hank and his partner get out of the car, Walt tells Uncle Jack to abort. We know that's not going to happen :(
As Hank and co. search for Walt, he comes out of hiding and approaches Hank. He knows that he's been caught.
Jesse is ecstatic while Hank cuffs Walt - he thinks that the nightmare is over.
Hank calls Marie and tells her that he's arrested Walt, but the victory is shortlived as Uncle Jack and the boys drive up.
The showdown ends in blood as Agent Gomez is killed during the firefight, and Hank is executed by Uncle Jack while Walt weeps into the dirt. Walt tells Uncle Jack that he has $80 million hidden in the desert. Jesse is captured by the skinheads, which begins the final arc. This episode is a goddamn masterpiece, and the edit did it justice.
Skyler tells Walt Jr (now Flynn) about Walt's meth business - Hello? Walt Jr evolving into Flynn was pivotal during the television series. This scene was weirdly spliced into the shootout scene.
Walt tells Skyler and the family that they need to pack immediately and leave town. She thinks that Walt killed Hank and approaches him with a knife, telling him to leave. Walt takes Saul's "get a new identity" plan that was inexplicably never mentioned in the edit.
TIMESKIP to Walt's 52nd birthday. There's a goddamn machine gun in his trunk with no explanation. He plots his assault on Uncle Jack's compound. He arranges for $19 million to be left with Elliot for his children.
Walt inexplicably shows up at Skyler's house after saying he couldn't go back. Gives her the GPS coords of Hank's body.
Walt finally admits that he didn't do any of this for the family, he did it for himself. This is super important to the plot, glad they included it.
Walt shows up to the compound with the death mobile. Shit goes wild.
Walt gives Jesse the option to kill him, but Jesse can't. He drives away, leaving Walt to die as the Feds show up.

IN CONCLUSION (I only have 300 characters left)

A lot of important plot points were left out, and for the seasoned BB viewer it kind of feels like robbery. We don't know when Walt became the monster he is because the Tuco arc was excluded. The Gus arc was cut short. The rest was not done well, but good enough.

daily reddit gold goal