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How Australians perform at Killing Kittens' female-focused sex parties

Amy Croffey

Killing Kittens' sex parties for "the world's sexual elite" have hit Australian shores, but how do the locals measure up?

"Compared to Europeans, Australians can be more hesitant," founder, Emma Sayle​, a former acquaintance of the Duchess of Cambridge Kate Middleton, told Fairfax Media.

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"The French, Spanish and Italians are sexual cultures and tend to get stuck in a bit quicker, while we find Australians, Americans and British are a bit more hesitant at first – generally speaking."

This is not your average, good old Australian BBQ. The premise of the parties, which would surely raise a few eyebrows, is that women "make and and break all the rules". They have been taking place on a smaller scale with up to 30 participants in Sydney, Melbourne and Perth since 2015 as organisers "get an idea of who is on the scene".

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But the event in April, to be held in an undisclosed Darling Harbour location, will hold up to 80 guests. So far 30 people have signed up to attend, but Sayle explained: "It has only been promoted through word of mouth so far and, anyway, with the nature of these parties you don't need to hit full capacity."

Sayle, who describes herself as an "old-school romantic", first launched Killing Kittens to the promiscuous, high-flying, AB demographic in 2005 because she felt that regular sex parties accommodated to men's pleasure only.

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Emma Sayle, founder of Killing Kittens – sex parties for high fliers. Photo: Dan Burn-Forti

Unlike the women's only Skirt Club, men can attend but only as a guest of a woman. With a theme of female empowerment, women must make the first move.

"Women want the opportunity to explore their sexuality, where they are in control and there are very few places where that happens. These parties are carried out in a safe environment, where women can learn about their sexuality and build their confidence as they explore. They can be in control and feel empowered without being at the mercy of a guy, who can sometimes be pushy or controlling," Sayle explained.

Her advice for first-timers: "Go as far as you want to go. Stand back have a wander round and see how you feel. If you get the urge to join in, then go for it.

"We don't want to put people off and make them feel they have to get naked straight away."

Women want the opportunity to explore their sexuality, where they are in control.

There is no pressure to have sex, in fact, Sayle said most women don't at their first outing.

Killing Kittens have been criticised for their rigorous vetting process through the years – mostly for its weight restrictions. "I have been accused of being 'fattist'," Sayle said.

"You don't have to be a supermodel," she explained. "We are looking for nice-looking people, who look after themselves. We ask for headshots and a bio." 

Accused of penny-pinching for not having a free bar and making patrons carry cash or purchase bar coupons, she said the general feel is "classy and understated", which irks some Australians and Americans.

"If it costs money they want a party more showy and in your face. It's not massive bottles of Dom Perignon with sparklers. The British way of doing things is classy and understated. It's not in-your-face money," she said.

Sayle with Kate Middleton in 2007. Photo Getty Images

Now a mother of a two-year-old and a four-month-old, Sayle attends the parties less frequently. "I go once a month. It's a great place to go for drinks but we don't go upstairs to the bedrooms," she laughed.

She no longer sees Middleton. . The pair were briefly part of a charity dragon-boat team after Middleton's temporary split with Prince William in 2007.

"We have a lot of mutual friends, but we live in two very different worlds. We were involved in a sports set-up for charity, The Sisterhood, which I still run now. We are not friends, but we are not enemies," Sayle said.

Killing Kittens has grown from its initial London start-up 12 years ago, to parties in New York, Miami, Chicago, Madrid, Barcelona, Malaga, Ibiza, Paris and by the end of April, Amsterdam too.

Sayle's plan is to expand its female-only educational talks, dinners and books clubs to Australia. With 80,000 members online, she is also wants to hone in on digital – developing its online dating site and creating an app, but not something like Tinder.

"I'm not a fan [of Tinder]. The minute you swipe on a person you dehumanise them. I'm an old-school romantic," she said.

Middleton joined Sayle's charity The Sisterhood for a time. Photo: Getty Images

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