Emma Sayle was working in a PR job in London a decade ago when she flew to Ibiza to attend a hedonistic wedding party.
"The location was stunning and the guests were wealthy, gorgeous and carefree," remembers Sayle. "After the champagne began to flow, people dressed in elaborate masks and not much else, began peeling off clothes. They were kissing and touching each other and having wild sex. The women especially seemed to be having a wonderful time. It reminded me of the Stanley Kubrick film Eyes Wide Shut and I was mesmerised."
![Killing Kittens founder Emma Sayle (right) describes herself as an 'old-school romantic'.](http://web.archive.org./web/20170712131628im_/https://www.fairfaxstatic.com.au/content/dam/images/1/m/l/f/a/z/image.related.articleLeadwide.620x349.1mo3p4.png/1489258663037.jpg)
Sayle's entrepreneurial mind started to tick over. "Coming back to the UK, I realised that while there was a sex-party scene, it was mainly run by men for men and often very seedy. I knew I could improve on it and make it more glamorous, joyful and female-focused. I also knew there was huge business potential."
Sayle booked an exclusive spa in London and used her PR connections and friends to invite 40 people. From the outset she set strict criteria for membership, meaning any men wanting to attend must be part of a couple. "I was nervous," she says. "I thought, 'Will the vibe be right? Will anything actually happen?' "
The inaugural party was a big success. Sayle went on to found Killing Kittens, a female-focused sex-party club that now has more than 40,000 members worldwide. (The unusual name relates to an old college campus saying that every time a woman masturbates, God kills a kitten in retribution.) She launched in New York in March, and in late May she plans to host her first party in Sydney.
She recently released an app similar to Grindr and Tinder, where members can locate and hook up wherever they are in the world. The membership for Killing Kittens costs up to £100 (about $200) per month. Sayle also offers a bespoke sexual-fantasy service for the rich and bored who dream of being whipped in a dungeon by "Marilyn Monroe" or kidnapped and held for ransom by "Batman".
But it is the much talked about masked sex parties held in luxury hotels, penthouses and yachts that have made Sayle and her unashamedly elitist Killing Kittens brand well known. More so because before you can attend a party, you must have your photograph vetted for approval.
"Our members expect a certain type of person at a party and although we never discriminate based on dress size alone, we do look for confidence, attractiveness and an overall groomed appearance. I have a staff member employed purely to assess the hundreds of photos we receive on a daily basis. She has a rule that she will only start work after 11am owing to the number of inappropriate, stomach-churning images that pop into her inbox each day!"
Sayle admits that although she has many detractors, most of them have been men. Men are relegated to a passive role at her parties and are not allowed to initiate sexual contact – women have the upper hand.
"Some alpha males can't deal with what I do and the fact that I am in a traditionally male-dominated industry," she says. "Women are mostly fascinated. I recently had a 70-year-old grandma tell me at a wedding that she wished my parties were around when she was young.
"I really believe that what makes our brand so popular is the fact that I am a woman who has catered my business to female pleasure and sexual liberation. Women make and break all the rules at a Killing Kittens party and men can only join in when they are invited. Two-thirds of our members are women and I feel this makes all the difference."
Ironically, Sayle leads anything but a hedonistic life now. She is a keen rower and triathlete who founded The Sisterhood charity with a group of elite sportswomen. This is famously where she met Kate Middleton, who became part of the charity's dragon-boat team after temporarily splitting with Prince William in 2007.
"We were training to race across the English Channel to raise money for children's charities. Kate rang me and asked to get involved. She was extremely focused, fit and a real asset to the team."
And last year, Sayle gave birth to her first child – a son, Raff – to her fiancé, British hockey international James Tindall. "Raff comes to work with me and fits into my life and it hasn't really slowed me down," she says.
Sayle, who wrote about the parties in her racy 2014 memoir Behind the Mask, acknowledges that Killing Kittens is not for everyone: "Sex is such a personal thing; while some people are satisfied with fantasies in their head, others want to live them out, and why not?
"Many members come to a party thinking they are just going to watch and tell me they are extremely nervous. I walk past them two hours later, however, and they are breasts-up on a pile of writhing bodies!" she says.
For some, however, the effect is just the opposite. "Other guests are very gung-ho but then can't handle it."