January 2017 feels like a weird time to be an Australian. And it's not because we're having our annual argument over whether our national holiday should be changed to a new date with less invasionary overtones (which, as certain rakishly charming commentators have pointed out before, it should, obviously).
No, it's because this might be time for the nation to stand on its own attractively muscular legs because our role models have, to put it politely, lost their freakin' minds.
![Dave 'Spurs' Goodall with his dog RM of Cook decorates his home for an Australia Day neighbourhood party celebration.](/web/20170126072603im_/http://www.smh.com.au/content/dam/images/g/t/y/9/f/7/image.related.articleLeadwide.620x349.gty7m9.png/1485314854518.jpg)
Ever since Federation, Australia has defined itself in relation to our two bigger siblings: the US and Britain.
That closeness has defined us as a nation – literally, in the case of our Parliament which took the best elements of the British Parliament and the US Congress and created a bicameral Parliament with a government-determining lower house (as per the British Parliament) and a state-representing Senate (in the model of the US) while ignoring the dumber elements of both systems, such as the hereditary peerages of the House of Lords, or the maybe-we-can't-trust-democracy Electoral College.
![People take part in an Invasion Day march in Sydney on January 26, 2016.](/web/20170126072603im_/http://www.smh.com.au/content/dam/images/g/t/y/5/q/v/image.related.articleLeadwide.620x349.gty7m9.png/1485314854518.jpg)
However, in 2017, aping the US and UK looks like becoming a liability. And if you're feeling uneasy it's probably at least partially because both countries seem determined to pursue some excitingly stupid decisions at the moment and, if history is any guide, this is typically about the time that Australia merrily joins in. Cough, Vietnam. Cough, Iraq. Hacking coughing fit, Syria.
And let's be honest: while we've benefited from being their goofy younger geopolitical sibling, our relationship with both countries hasn't been purely because of our precious specialness. Britain considered us a good dumping ground for unwanted human refuse and then a nice spot for sheep, while the US' love for us is largely because we're a tactically convenient military staging ground – most recently for legally questionable drone warfare.
We've always measured ourselves according to the all-encompassing Anglo-American influence on our politics, our economy, and our culture. Hell, we have a rich history of respecting our highest achievers only after they make it overseas, whether it's Peter Carey winning the Booker prize, Courtney Barnett selling out her American tour, or Brian Schmidt co-winning the Nobel prize for physics. It took more than two decades of international acclaim before Australia decided Nick Cave was a national treasure – and there's a reason he's never moved back here after fleeing overseas in 1980. Our cultural cringe is real, and it's ugly.
And this isn't going to be some slam about the Queen or people failing to include "U" in words sufficiently often. It's about the fact that even if you think the UK is wise to leave the European Union or that the United States was right to elect Donald Trump, there's the unavoidable fact that the future of both countries will involve much, much less Australia.
In Britain, the necessity to have a "hard Brexit" (ie one where the UK loses access to the EU's single market and must negotiate trade and diplomatic access individually with each member state, and do so from a weakened position and with little hope of doing so before the deadline) means they're isolating themselves from the rest of the world.
Former prime minister Tony Abbott has declared this a perfect opportunity for us to strengthen our ties with the UK, because who wouldn't want to more closely align ourselves with a racially divided country with a plummeting currency and worsening debt?
The US has been even more forthright about its new passion for isolationism. Trump has threatened to place heavy tariffs on imports, penalise companies that don't source their supplies from the US, and has even suggested that long-standing military alliances (NATO in Europe, ANZUS in Oceania) will be up for renegotiation, and that allies such as Japan shouldn't bank on the US coming to its aid if things kick off with the Chinese fleets in the South China Sea.
In other words, both countries are preparing to offer us worse deals as part of their new, closed-off future. They're already pushing us away, along with the rest of the world.
And so we have a choice: either we can scamper after them and gratefully accept the scraps from whatever unequal deal they make, or we can show some self respect and consolidate some new and better friendships.
And fortunately, there's never been a better time, since we're going to need to do that anyway.
The Trans Pacific Partnership is meaningless without the US (and let's be honest, was a garbage deal for Australia in any case), so we're going to need to do some standalone negotiations with our neighbours in the Asia-Pacific region, as well as old allies like Japan and Canada. And without the US using its sheer size to squeeze concessions out of us all, there's the opportunity to hammer out something a good deal more equitable.
And as the sabre rattling between China and the US escalates, there might well be a role for Australia in which our recent struggles to take a side will be to our advantage. We have a solid relationship with both countries and – although you'd never know it going by recent efforts – Australia has a surprisingly robust history as a negotiator. And if we'd like to prevent humanity from perishing in a nuclear conflagration, having a clear-headed nation able to broker detente might be the literal difference between life and death.
Where would you rather we be in 10 years: a vital independent centre of international diplomacy with strong trade relationships with the rest of the world, or a feeble colonial footnote unable to protect itself from the enemies which our indifferent former allies are making for us? This can't be a hard decision, surely?
So whatever you're doing tomorrow – and here's hoping it's something fun with the people you love most – maybe spare a thought for what sort of decisions Australians might be smart to make in 2017, before those decisions are made for us by increasingly-distant allies who no longer are that fussed about our wellbeing.
Oh, and let's just rip the bandaid off and make ourselves a republic while we're at it. It's about freakin' time.
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