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Adele tells critics to 'shut up' over venue choice

Jorge Branco

After a week of total public transport panic and a seemingly unending deluge of puns, Adele has a pretty simple message.

"I know there was a bit of controversy about me playing the Gabba," she says, about halfway through a triumphant two-hour set.

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Adele Brisbane arrivals: time lapse

A bird's eye view of 60,000 people pouring into the Gabba to watch Adele perform on Saturday night.

"... I think they should shut up with their bloody moaning. F---ing hell. Shut up.

"... I'm sorry if I'm not where you want me to be but I'm here so shut up."

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The British superstar took the stage on Saturday night at 7.55pm - in front of a full stadium.

Despite, or maybe because of, city-wide hand-wringing about how the Gabba and its surrounding bus services would cope with 60,000 fans, almost all of them are in their seat in time for the show's spectacular opening.

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The Mexican wave, infamously banned in past cricket Tests, makes a resurgent comeback as the heaving venue waits.

The Brit's closed eyes, writ large on a metres-high circular screen, open and lift to applause not heard here since an Ashes win or the Brisbane Lions' glory days (this is not a pun. Seriously, I can't stress how much this is not a pun). Or maybe ever.

Hello, the obvious opener, sends the crowd into raptures as Adele, resplendent in a mauve gown with crystals that sparkle like the stars hidden behind looming clouds, stands before them.

It's just her - and a cup of tea. And that voice. I could waste the rest of these words trying to capture the way it bursts forth and rings out across the stands and you probably still wouldn't get it unless you were there.

Twenty-five minutes late in front of a crowd that couldn't care less, the singer is outright hilarious as she wanders about the stage, between songs, "chattering" out of nervousness.

"G'Day Brisbane," she yells three songs in.

"... So I'm sure you can tell, I'm obviously not cut out for your weather."

"Even my eyelids are sweating," she jokes, before grabbing a fan from the front row.

"I bloody love a fan."

Hometown Glory makes an early appearance complete with visuals of the river city, which somehow come across as mildly spine tingling rather than tacky.

The sound is excellent despite the obvious drawbacks (fairly relentless echo) of playing in a stadium like this.

And did I mention them pipes?

All the songs you'd expect are there, from Chasing Pavements through to beautiful versions of Set Fire to the Rain and Rolling in the Deep almost drowned out by an ecstatic crowd.

Someone Like You is the perfect swansong, completing a hit-filled encore after an extended break for kiss cam that again, is somehow touching rather than tacky.

But the singer's "rambling" between songs is half the fun at times, laying bare a funny, endearingly humble woman who at times seems genuinely surprised so many people have turned up.

If you're sick of reading this you should scroll to the bottom now for some of the night's best quotes.

She recently held a koala and looked at a crocodile. Also, she watched Ant-Man. These are things you now know about Adele.

It's almost impossible to believe that someone who has captured the whole nation's attention for a week is this humble, but Meryl Streep couldn't act  this well.

After all the hand-wringing, the night is an absolute triumph. Although I'm not sure how fun the journey home would have been for those who didn't leg it out of the stadium quite as fast as we did.

Sure, there's a little matter of a footy season and potentially ruining one of Australia's most-feared cricket pitches for years, but let's get more shows at The Gabba. So long as they're as powerful as Adele.

At the very least it's better than sending people out to Nathan for QSAC, everyone's least favourite athletics stadium.

Adele's best quotes of the night:

Admitting her beautiful gown tripped her up on the stairs:

"I'm sure you heard my dodgy note afterwards. I f---ing shit myself."

Apologising for rambling:

"Well a few of you are cheering but you'll be booing by the end when you find out there's only three songs."

Admonishing the all-male choir's clothing choices: 

"I thought I told you to be shirtless for the next show."

Thinking better of it:

"I'm pretty much a married woman so I shouldn't flirt with the choir too much."

Seriously overwhelmed by the size of the show:

"I don't know what way to f---ing look. It's so difficult."

And these ones that don't need any context:

"Normally I can drink anyone else under the table but I can't do that with an Australian. I'll get alcohol poisoning."

"There's a key change at the end and sometimes it makes me belch."

"I'm knackered. I don't know how Beyonce does it."

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