AT LAST
Peter Mansbridge silently pumps fist after correctly pronouncing 'inauspicious' on air
“Inauspicious”, with its four tricky syllables and slippery “s” noises has long been a troublemaker for the venerated anchor.
Jordan Foisy
RICH
Newly-minted millionaire immediately blows it all on monocles
As lottery winners and pop stars alike can attest, sudden wealth can be overwhelming, and can lead to severe money mismanagement.
TORONTO
Queen streetcar to stop running for summer, but on purpose this time
The Toronto Transit Commission issued a press release today announcing that the Queen streetcar will not be running for the entire summer.
MARKETPLACE
Man who gave up meat for Lent excited to still eat Subway chicken
A GOOD START
Local woman gives up for Lent
Ned Petrie
SCALPERS
INSPIRING: This guy bought 4,000 U2 tickets and is willing to sell them for as little as twice the price
PARENTING
Lame-ass father hasn't missed a single one of son's birthdays
Adam Albanese
IT'S COMPLICATED
Furious Vancouver protesters sheepishly move into Trump Tower to save on rent
SCIENCE
Scientists baffled by tall black man who does not play basketball
Kye Fox
SHROVE TUESDAY
Local man enjoys two giant pancake meals before realizing it's Pancake Day
LIFE HACKS
You'll never have to shovel your driveway again
ORIGINAL!
Are you an extraterrestrial looking for a home on earth? We can help!
ALT-RIGHT
Kellie Leitch wins Worst Actress in a Hateful Role for new "Canadian Values" video
POLITICS
Nation that wanted Trump to be quieter totally terrified now that he is
CLIMATE CHANGE
Toronto condo owner jealous of polar bears' square footage of living space
POLITICS
All of French Canada agrees: Kevin O'Leary has a certain "je ne sais rien"
OSCARS
UH OH: La La Land producer bought four new homes and divorced wife in the 30 seconds he thought they won
ACADEMY AWARDS
White guy at Oscar party REALLY wants you to know he saw 'Moonlight'
Ryan Dillon
CRAZY
0 for 2: CeeLo Green shows up at Oscars dressed as Grammy
BOLD CLAIMS
Man refuses to use Wi-Fi network called "YOU SUCK" because he does not suck
CELEBRITIES
In Memoriam segment to make up 94% of this year's Oscar ceremony
LIKE NO OTHER
$47 gourmet burger just lobster dinner you eat while sitting across from burger
Andrew Barr
TV
Mr. T joins cast of 'Dancing With the Stars', 3 dead
TIM HORTONS
100-cup challenge successfully reveals the odds of getting suckers to buy 100 cups of coffee