http://www.seattlepi.com/lifestyle/travel/article/The-weird-Seattle-venutres-peddled-to-tourists-10606835.php
The weird Seattle adventures peddled to tourists
This stuff is a rip-off. Rent a car and use the internet.
Published 7:44 pm, Sunday, November 13, 2016
Pay $400 to take a tour of Mount Saint Helens and attend a perfectly public observatory. Maybe it truly costs that much to get a ride and catch lunch.
Pay $400 to take a tour of Mount Saint Helens and attend a perfectly public observatory. Maybe it truly costs that much to get a ride and catch lunch.
Or, pay $62 to walk to some local chocolate shops.
Or, or, or, go on the Theo Chocolate factory tour in Fremont for just $10, and
still get hella samples.
Or, pay $62 to walk to some local chocolate shops.
Or, or, or, go on the Theo Chocolate factory tour in Fremont for just $10, and still get hella samples.
Of course there's the shining tourist beacon, Pike Place Market. Pay anywhere from $50 to $440 to stroll around the market and nibble on snacks. Or hoof there yourself for free.
Of course there's the shining tourist beacon, Pike Place Market. Pay anywhere from $50 to $440 to stroll around the market and nibble on snacks. Or hoof there yourself for free.
Photo: GETTY IMAGES
What would you do in Seattle with $700? This excursion package will take your money in exchange for a visit to a couple Belltown restaurants and bars.
What would you do in Seattle with $700? This excursion package will take your money in exchange for a visit to a couple Belltown restaurants and bars.
Photo: Instagram/@k_mcswag
Instead of checking out Seattle's vistas and curiosities for free, you can look at the Ballard Locks fish ladders and other sights for $60 in this city tour.
Instead of checking out Seattle's vistas and curiosities for free, you can look at the Ballard Locks fish ladders and other sights for $60 in this city tour.
Photo: GABRIEL BOUYS, AFP/Getty Images
If you're fancy, you can drop $1,200 on a sommelier-led tour of Woodinville wineries.
If you're fancy, you can drop $1,200 on a sommelier-led tour of Woodinville wineries.
Photo: Carol Hook
Pay $26 for "priority seating" at the Hard Rock Cafe (which is definitely a restaurant no other city has). Or, you know, pick up the phone and make a reservation.
Pay $26 for "priority seating" at the Hard Rock Cafe (which is definitely a restaurant no other city has). Or, you know, pick up the phone and make a reservation.
Photo: GRANT HINDSLEY, SEATTLEPI.COM
This package sells you a Teatro ZinZanni ticket for $120, though the current show is nearly $30 cheaper.
This package sells you a Teatro ZinZanni ticket for $120, though the current show is nearly $30 cheaper.
Photo: JOSHUA TRUJILLO
Go on a custom tour of Mount Rainier for $125.
Or ask a local for their favorite spots and take a rental car.
Or ask a local for their favorite spots and take a rental car.
Go on a custom tour of Mount Rainier for $125.
Or ask a local for their favorite spots and take a rental car.
Photo: Archive Photos/Getty Images
Or ask a local for their favorite spots and take a rental car.
This $148 tour takes you on a Bainbridge Island wine tasting excursion.
Ferry to Bainbridge, with a car: $11.50 to $14.60 for a car and driver. $8.20 for each additional adult or for a walk-on fare.
Ferry to Bainbridge, with a car: $11.50 to $14.60 for a car and driver. $8.20 for each additional adult or for a walk-on fare.
This $148 tour takes you on a Bainbridge Island wine tasting excursion.
Ferry to Bainbridge, with a car: $11.50 to $14.60 for a car and driver. $8.20 for each additional adult or for a walk-on fare.
Ferry to Bainbridge, with a car: $11.50 to $14.60 for a car and driver. $8.20 for each additional adult or for a walk-on fare.
Go to the Kitsap Peninsula to visit tribal reservations and museums for $266.
Please see previous slide for ferry fares and compare.
Please see previous slide for ferry fares and compare.
Go to the Kitsap Peninsula to visit tribal reservations and museums for $266.
Please see previous slide for ferry fares and compare.
Photo: Mithun
Please see previous slide for ferry fares and compare.
Did you know you can have a "private epicurean Frolic" in Fremont? ($207)
Did you know you can have a "private epicurean Frolic" in Fremont? ($207)
Photo: MATT MILLS MCKNIGHT, SEATTLEPI.COM
For $180, you can go on a private South Lake Union and Museum of History and Industry tour. It includes riding the street car (known to locals as the "SLUT") and visiting the free Center for Wooden Boats.
(Street car fare: $4.50 for a day pass. MOHAI admission: $19.95 for adults.)
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(Street car fare: $4.50 for a day pass. MOHAI admission: $19.95 for adults.)
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For $180, you can go on a private South Lake Union and Museum of History and Industry tour. It includes riding the street car (known to locals as the "SLUT") and visiting the free Center for Wooden ... more
Photo: LACEY YOUNG, SEATTLEPI.COM
Only $4,000 will allow you to go "flyboarding" on Lake Washington or Lake Chelan.
Only $4,000 will allow you to go "flyboarding" on Lake Washington or Lake Chelan.
Photo: Clement Mahoudeau/IP/Getty Images)
For the same price, you can rent a boat.
For the same price, you can rent a boat.
Photo: LACEY YOUNG/SEATTLEPI.COM
Again, a bit of an inflated price for the pleasure of a driver. $20 per adult or, with a driver, $650 per group.
Again, a bit of an inflated price for the pleasure of a driver. $20 per adult or, with a driver, $650 per group.
Photo: AP
Finally, pimp out your Facebook and Instagram accounts with for-sure-not-awkward professional photos of your Seattle adventure.
Isn't that what selfie sticks are for?
Isn't that what selfie sticks are for?
Finally, pimp out your Facebook and Instagram accounts with for-sure-not-awkward professional photos of your Seattle adventure.
Isn't that what selfie sticks are for?
Photo: JORDAN STEAD, SEATTLEPI.COM
Isn't that what selfie sticks are for?
You seriously cannot please everyone, especially with tourist attractions. There are high expectations and sometimes high prices that can set up a landmark or vista to fail.
What do locals and travelers alike have to say about some of our beloved Washington icons? We plucked the most scorching reviews from their Yelp pages for your entertainment.
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What do locals and travelers alike have to say about some of our beloved Washington icons? We plucked the most scorching reviews from their Yelp pages for your entertainment.
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You seriously cannot please everyone, especially with tourist attractions. There are high expectations and sometimes high prices that can set up a landmark or vista to fail.
What do locals and travelers alike ... more
What do locals and travelers alike ... more
Pike Place Market
Elyse M.: "I avoid Pike Place like the plague of tourists that it is. Aimless, soulless, vacant-eyed tourists who run into you while gaping at a salmon as if they've never seen fish before. Everything is overpriced and kitschy. Unless you want to sit and people watch the Walmart-clad Midwesterners who have gotten themselves lost from the rest of their party, avoid this nonsense like the tourist trap it is." less
Elyse M.: "I avoid Pike Place like the plague of tourists that it is. Aimless, soulless, vacant-eyed tourists who run into you while gaping at a salmon as if they've never seen fish before. Everything is overpriced and kitschy. Unless you want to sit and people watch the Walmart-clad Midwesterners who have gotten themselves lost from the rest of their party, avoid this nonsense like the tourist trap it is." less
Pike Place Market
Elyse M.: "I avoid Pike Place like the plague of tourists that it is. Aimless, soulless, vacant-eyed tourists who run into you while gaping at a salmon as if they've never seen fish before. ... more
Photo: GETTY IMAGES
Elyse M.: "I avoid Pike Place like the plague of tourists that it is. Aimless, soulless, vacant-eyed tourists who run into you while gaping at a salmon as if they've never seen fish before. ... more
Eric R.: "Ya know... this place is just horrible. It is sad to think that THIS is a Seattle icon. It's embarrassing. The actual market where you buy seafood and produce and the like just
seems dirty and unsanitary. If you drop down in the so called shopping
mall on the lower levels the smell just permeates every one of your
senses... and not in a good way. It absolutely stinks down there. Not
just annoying but a smell you can actually taste. And who is actually
buying the crap (not literal, but close) that is being sold there. A
tourist cannot be THAT desperate for souvenirs." less
Eric R.: "Ya know... this place is just horrible. It is sad to think that THIS is a Seattle icon. It's embarrassing. The actual market where you buy seafood and produce and the like just
seems dirty and ... more
Photo: Multiple
Shaila C.: "This place is a terrible tourist trap. You can find the same (or
better) seafood and produce at Whole Foods for the same price. And Whole
Foods has free parking and lacks oblivious, meandering tourists." less
Shaila C.: "This place is a terrible tourist trap. You can find the same (or
better) seafood and produce at Whole Foods for the same price. And Whole
Foods has free parking and lacks oblivious, meandering ... more
Photo: GENNA MARTIN, SEATTLEPI.COM
Pepe R.: "First we love Pike Place Market, the reason of this very low rating is
due to all of the homeless people that lives around the market."
Pepe R.: "First we love Pike Place Market, the reason of this very low rating is
due to all of the homeless people that lives around the market."
Photo: GRANT HINDSLEY, SEATTLEPI.COM
Trey D.: "extremely overhyped stinky hipster pretentious touristy bullshit place!!!!!!!!!!"
Trey D.: "extremely overhyped stinky hipster pretentious touristy bullshit place!!!!!!!!!!"
Photo: Seattle Municipal Archive
Leslie R.: "I slipped in a puddle of pee on the ramp while I was on my way to the
magic shop....that was in 2002 though, so I am sure they mopped it up
since then...."
Leslie R.: "I slipped in a puddle of pee on the ramp while I was on my way to the
magic shop....that was in 2002 though, so I am sure they mopped it up
since then...."
Photo: Seattle Municipal Archive
Pike Place Market gum wall
Raymond W.: "The most disgusting, stomach-churning, vomit-inducing, and unnecessary 'attraction' Seattle has to offer. "
Raymond W.: "The most disgusting, stomach-churning, vomit-inducing, and unnecessary 'attraction' Seattle has to offer. "
Pike Place Market gum wall
Raymond W.: "The most disgusting, stomach-churning, vomit-inducing, and unnecessary 'attraction' Seattle has to offer. "
Photo: DANIEL DEMAY/SEATTLEPI.COM
Raymond W.: "The most disgusting, stomach-churning, vomit-inducing, and unnecessary 'attraction' Seattle has to offer. "
Samantha E.: "Ewww. Looks kind of cool, but it's gross. Plus, seems how if you lay
on the ground and look up at a desk at any elementary school, you could
see something similar. Not a tourist destination."
Samantha E.: "Ewww. Looks kind of cool, but it's gross. Plus, seems how if you lay
on the ground and look up at a desk at any elementary school, you could
see something similar. Not a tourist destination."
Photo: Grant Hindsley, SEATTLEPI.COM
The Space Needle
Ferdinand B.: "Anyone who visits the Space Needle must be an idiot to begin with.
It's like going to Paris to visit Disneyland."
Ferdinand B.: "Anyone who visits the Space Needle must be an idiot to begin with.
It's like going to Paris to visit Disneyland."
The Space Needle
Ferdinand B.: "Anyone who visits the Space Needle must be an idiot to begin with.
It's like going to Paris to visit Disneyland."
Photo: GENNA MARTIN, SEATTLEPI.COM
Ferdinand B.: "Anyone who visits the Space Needle must be an idiot to begin with.
It's like going to Paris to visit Disneyland."
Yurt F.: "Ridiculously expensive, poorly run, boring. It wouldn't be worth the
money at half the cost. Space Needle management appears to have scoured
the Seattle public schools to find the most stoned teenage boys and the
surliest teenage girls to staff the insufficient number of elevators
and overpriced, slow, and nasty tasting concessions. Enjoy the 15
minute wait for an elevator going up on a floor with no bathroom!
Relish the complete lack of helpful signage! Luxuriate up top in the
absence of comfortable seating! 605 feet of overpriced inconvenience:
it's a true Seattle experience.
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Yurt F.: "Ridiculously expensive, poorly run, boring. It wouldn't be worth the
money at half the cost. Space Needle management appears to have scoured
the Seattle public schools to find the most stoned ... more
Photo: Wolfgang Kaehler/LightRocket Via Getty Images
Ryan S.: "most over-rated place everrrrrrrrr. when i first moved to seattle, i
thought it would be the tallest thing there! boy was this idiot wrong.
imagine my disappointment when i drove up and saw the skyline for the
first time! this hideous thing is like half the size of the tallest
building...if that! hell no!" less
Ryan S.: "most over-rated place everrrrrrrrr. when i first moved to seattle, i
thought it would be the tallest thing there! boy was this idiot wrong.
imagine my disappointment when i drove up and saw the ... more
Photo: LACEY YOUNG, SEATTLEPI.COM
Alex Y.: "Closed for private event the only day I could go after traveling from
L.A. Just wanted to see the sun set from the space Needle in America's 'finest city.' I was going to propose to my girlfriend at the top but
there will be no proposal now. Plans ruined. What kind of people close
down the space Needle??" less
Alex Y.: "Closed for private event the only day I could go after traveling from
L.A. Just wanted to see the sun set from the space Needle in America's 'finest city.' I was going to propose to my girlfriend at ... more
Photo: GENNA MARTIN, SEATTLEPI.COM
Safeco Field
Bronson A.: "The 'alcohol enforcement' people are more like the Fun Police. They're more worried about the amount of baseballs you catch during batting practice then actual underage/abusive drinkers. It's a shame security is not supervised in this stadium. "
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Bronson A.: "The 'alcohol enforcement' people are more like the Fun Police. They're more worried about the amount of baseballs you catch during batting practice then actual underage/abusive drinkers. It's a shame security is not supervised in this stadium. "
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Safeco Field
Bronson A.: "The 'alcohol enforcement' people are more like the Fun Police. They're more worried about the amount of baseballs you catch during batting practice then actual underage/abusive ... more
Photo: GRANT HINDSLEY, SEATTLEPI.COM
Bronson A.: "The 'alcohol enforcement' people are more like the Fun Police. They're more worried about the amount of baseballs you catch during batting practice then actual underage/abusive ... more
CenturyLink Field
Gil O. (who has a San Francisco 49ers avatar): "I hate this stadium. Horrible weather, and that noise that comes from this stadium, is from people throwing up. I hope they bulldoze it to the ground. 0-2 in the Super Bowl!" less
Gil O. (who has a San Francisco 49ers avatar): "I hate this stadium. Horrible weather, and that noise that comes from this stadium, is from people throwing up. I hope they bulldoze it to the ground. 0-2 in the Super Bowl!" less
CenturyLink Field
Gil O. (who has a San Francisco 49ers avatar): "I hate this stadium. Horrible weather, and that noise that comes from this stadium, is from people throwing up. I hope they bulldoze it to the ... more
Photo: John Froschauer, AP
Gil O. (who has a San Francisco 49ers avatar): "I hate this stadium. Horrible weather, and that noise that comes from this stadium, is from people throwing up. I hope they bulldoze it to the ... more
Seattle Monorail
Lily H: "A joke...a hideous remnant of the World's Fair of 1962, massive concrete, clumsy, obstructing Fifth Avenue (west of Pine St.) and with its sheer bulk throwing the otherwise pleasant street into deep shadow.
Tear it down, please, ASAP.
It goes nowhere. Why would anyone, including a tourist, want to wait half an hour in line to take something that goes 1/2 mile??
If it's meant to show how benighted our sense of urban aesthetics is, then it's a winner. Furthermore, it is NOT a technological cutting marvel (not since 1962) and has been superseded around the world." less
Lily H: "A joke...a hideous remnant of the World's Fair of 1962, massive concrete, clumsy, obstructing Fifth Avenue (west of Pine St.) and with its sheer bulk throwing the otherwise pleasant street into deep shadow.
Tear it down, please, ASAP.
It goes nowhere. Why would anyone, including a tourist, want to wait half an hour in line to take something that goes 1/2 mile??
If it's meant to show how benighted our sense of urban aesthetics is, then it's a winner. Furthermore, it is NOT a technological cutting marvel (not since 1962) and has been superseded around the world." less
Seattle Monorail
Lily H: "A joke...a hideous remnant of the World's Fair of 1962, massive concrete, clumsy, obstructing Fifth Avenue (west of Pine St.) and with its sheer bulk throwing the otherwise pleasant ... more
Photo: Ron Koeberer, Getty Images/Aurora Creative
Lily H: "A joke...a hideous remnant of the World's Fair of 1962, massive concrete, clumsy, obstructing Fifth Avenue (west of Pine St.) and with its sheer bulk throwing the otherwise pleasant ... more
Remington M.: "The monorail is like sex during high school, it seems like the best
thing going, nothing can compare, but then you go to college, or in this
case Vancouver, B.C. and you see what a real rail system looks like, and
you finally know what love is, and it ain't the monorail." less
Remington M.: "The monorail is like sex during high school, it seems like the best
thing going, nothing can compare, but then you go to college, or in this
case Vancouver, B.C. and you see what a real rail ... more
Ride the Ducks
Amy B.: "The only way that I would do this again is if I had a flask."
Amy B.: "The only way that I would do this again is if I had a flask."
Ride the Ducks
Amy B.: "The only way that I would do this again is if I had a flask."
Photo: GRANT HINDSLEY, SEATTLEPI.COM
Amy B.: "The only way that I would do this again is if I had a flask."
A H.: "Unless you are easily amused by canned humor, like superficiality, need
someone to tell you where the Seattle-area tourist traps are, or like
having an excuse to be a public nuisance, you will hate this tour. Even
$0 was too much to pay for this." less
A H.: "Unless you are easily amused by canned humor, like superficiality, need
someone to tell you where the Seattle-area tourist traps are, or like
having an excuse to be a public nuisance, you will hate ... more
Point Defiance Zoo and Aquarium
Suzy K.: "Saddest sad place. Shall I start with the cute little pygmy owl all alone in its little tiny glass box? Maybe the polar bear digging through the thin layer of pebble. Perhaps the Asian elephants in their small, barren enclosure? I'm too depressed to go on ...." less
Suzy K.: "Saddest sad place. Shall I start with the cute little pygmy owl all alone in its little tiny glass box? Maybe the polar bear digging through the thin layer of pebble. Perhaps the Asian elephants in their small, barren enclosure? I'm too depressed to go on ...." less
Point Defiance Zoo and Aquarium
Suzy K.: "Saddest sad place. Shall I start with the cute little pygmy owl all alone in its little tiny glass box? Maybe the polar bear digging through the thin layer of ... more
Photo: Renee C. Byer/Seattle Post-Intelligencer
Suzy K.: "Saddest sad place. Shall I start with the cute little pygmy owl all alone in its little tiny glass box? Maybe the polar bear digging through the thin layer of ... more
Washington State Ferries
Melissa M.: "The one star is simply for getting me across a large body of water. Maybe I'm jaded about government workers but every interaction I've had with someone at this terminal makes me wish there was a private ferry company I could pay twice as much for and tell these assholes to suck it." less
Melissa M.: "The one star is simply for getting me across a large body of water. Maybe I'm jaded about government workers but every interaction I've had with someone at this terminal makes me wish there was a private ferry company I could pay twice as much for and tell these assholes to suck it." less
Washington State Ferries
Melissa M.: "The one star is simply for getting me across a large body of water. Maybe I'm jaded about government workers but every interaction I've had with someone at this terminal ... more
Photo: GRANT HINDSLEY, Associated Press
Melissa M.: "The one star is simply for getting me across a large body of water. Maybe I'm jaded about government workers but every interaction I've had with someone at this terminal ... more
Kerry Park
Norelle D.: "If you want to go where every man and woman visiting Seattle have ever gone, go to Kerry Park. If you want a view of the Seattle skyline that's been done, re-done, and then done again countless times in film and photograph, go to Kerry Park. If you want to have other tourists get in the way of your photographic moment, fight with at least 4 bridal parties for a good shot spot, and sniff the lovely aroma of cigarettes, weed, and homeless bum, go to Kerry Park.
If you prefer a gorgeous view and none of the above, head west a couple more blocks on Highland Dr. and you'll hit Marshall Park viewpoint and the intimate Parson's Gardens. They're MUCH better." less
Norelle D.: "If you want to go where every man and woman visiting Seattle have ever gone, go to Kerry Park. If you want a view of the Seattle skyline that's been done, re-done, and then done again countless times in film and photograph, go to Kerry Park. If you want to have other tourists get in the way of your photographic moment, fight with at least 4 bridal parties for a good shot spot, and sniff the lovely aroma of cigarettes, weed, and homeless bum, go to Kerry Park.
If you prefer a gorgeous view and none of the above, head west a couple more blocks on Highland Dr. and you'll hit Marshall Park viewpoint and the intimate Parson's Gardens. They're MUCH better." less
Kerry Park
Norelle D.: "If you want to go where every man and woman visiting Seattle have ever gone, go to Kerry Park. If you want a view of the Seattle skyline that's been done, re-done, and then done again ... more
Photo: JOSHUA TRUJILLO, SEATTLEPI.COM
Norelle D.: "If you want to go where every man and woman visiting Seattle have ever gone, go to Kerry Park. If you want a view of the Seattle skyline that's been done, re-done, and then done again ... more
Erica K.: "I never expected the view to be so small.... I thought the journey to Kerry Park had better views of the Space Needle."
Erica K.: "I never expected the view to be so small.... I thought the journey to Kerry Park had better views of the Space Needle."
Photo: JOSHUA TRUJILLO, SEATTLEPI.COM
Bill Speidel's Underground Tour
Jackie S.: "Everyone seems to recommend this tour, but that just makes me think there are a lot of people out there that really hate me. The tour guides appear to have memorized a script, complete with low-class humor, and I felt like my guide was practicing for an awful comedy routine rather than giving a tour. The underground portion is extremely run-down, which is understandable (it's underground and the original stuff down there was destroyed), but considering they get $15 for every fool who purchases a ticket, it would've been nice to have seen a little more effort put into the surroundings. Actually, any effort at all would have been nice. Save your time and money, and do anything else in the Seattle area instead. Unless your worst enemy decides to come visit you, in which case sending them on this tour would be the perfect revenge." less
Jackie S.: "Everyone seems to recommend this tour, but that just makes me think there are a lot of people out there that really hate me. The tour guides appear to have memorized a script, complete with low-class humor, and I felt like my guide was practicing for an awful comedy routine rather than giving a tour. The underground portion is extremely run-down, which is understandable (it's underground and the original stuff down there was destroyed), but considering they get $15 for every fool who purchases a ticket, it would've been nice to have seen a little more effort put into the surroundings. Actually, any effort at all would have been nice. Save your time and money, and do anything else in the Seattle area instead. Unless your worst enemy decides to come visit you, in which case sending them on this tour would be the perfect revenge." less
Bill Speidel's Underground Tour
Jackie S.: "Everyone seems to recommend this tour, but that just makes me think there are a lot of people out there that really hate me. The tour guides appear to have ... more
Photo: JOSHUA TRUJILLO, SEATTLE POST-INTELLIGENCER
Jackie S.: "Everyone seems to recommend this tour, but that just makes me think there are a lot of people out there that really hate me. The tour guides appear to have ... more
Natalie H.: "The history was interesting (I guess) but I felt like they were trying
to be too funny. The corny jokes just seemed too much. And once you've
seen one pile of rust, how many more can you look at? ...
"In my opinion, they shouldn't have focused on the history and the corny jokes. Because to be honest, I lost interest really quickly. Instead, they should have maybe focused on the possible creepiness of being underground with gross water dripping on you and cobwebs everywhere." less
"In my opinion, they shouldn't have focused on the history and the corny jokes. Because to be honest, I lost interest really quickly. Instead, they should have maybe focused on the possible creepiness of being underground with gross water dripping on you and cobwebs everywhere." less
Natalie H.: "The history was interesting (I guess) but I felt like they were trying
to be too funny. The corny jokes just seemed too much. And once you've
seen one pile of rust, how many more can you look ... more
Photo: Seattlepi.com
Julie N.: "The tour is just a handful of decrepit, moldy basements, buckling
floors, cracked walls. Very dull. Can't believe they have whipped this
into a 'historical' thing. The only history is a putrid story of sewage
problems and re-grading. Big deal. ... Forget about this tour and go do the 'Duck' tour or the
Seattle Art Museum or Needle!" less
Julie N.: "The tour is just a handful of decrepit, moldy basements, buckling
floors, cracked walls. Very dull. Can't believe they have whipped this
into a 'historical' thing. The only history is a ... more
Photo: Brad Vest, Seattle Post-Intelligencer
Roozengaarde, Mount Vernon
Caleb W. (apparently a disgruntled Mount Vernon resident): "Just a bunch of boring flowers save your time and money stay home and not flood my road with aggravating traffic and if you do insist on coming here obey the signs i.e. all the no parking signs don't mean go ahead and park like all you looky loos seem to do!!!! Would be minus stars if they would allow it." less
Caleb W. (apparently a disgruntled Mount Vernon resident): "Just a bunch of boring flowers save your time and money stay home and not flood my road with aggravating traffic and if you do insist on coming here obey the signs i.e. all the no parking signs don't mean go ahead and park like all you looky loos seem to do!!!! Would be minus stars if they would allow it." less
Roozengaarde, Mount Vernon
Caleb W. (apparently a disgruntled Mount Vernon resident): "Just a bunch of boring flowers save your time and money stay home and not flood my road with aggravating traffic and if ... more
Photo: Jeff Larsen/Seattle Post-Intelligencer
Caleb W. (apparently a disgruntled Mount Vernon resident): "Just a bunch of boring flowers save your time and money stay home and not flood my road with aggravating traffic and if ... more
Daffodils bloom in the Skagit valley's Roozengaarde.
Daffodils bloom in the Skagit valley's Roozengaarde.
Photo: Jeff Larsen, Seattle Post-Intelligencer
Tillicum Village
Ashley H.: "Do not do it! I have been on Argosy cruise before the 1 hour Seattle tour is good but the Tillicum village is horrible! I got 20 percent off the purchase and still wanted my money back. Its (sic) literally a video that you watch, and the food is done buffet style which means you eat all you want but not here. The food is good but there isn't enough for everyone to have seconds therefore not a buffet. It was a waist (sic) of my money and it will be a waist (sic) of yours!" less
Ashley H.: "Do not do it! I have been on Argosy cruise before the 1 hour Seattle tour is good but the Tillicum village is horrible! I got 20 percent off the purchase and still wanted my money back. Its (sic) literally a video that you watch, and the food is done buffet style which means you eat all you want but not here. The food is good but there isn't enough for everyone to have seconds therefore not a buffet. It was a waist (sic) of my money and it will be a waist (sic) of yours!" less
Tillicum Village
Ashley H.: "Do not do it! I have been on Argosy cruise before the 1 hour Seattle tour is good but the Tillicum village is horrible! I got 20 percent off the purchase and still wanted my ... more
Photo: KEVIN MORRIS
Ashley H.: "Do not do it! I have been on Argosy cruise before the 1 hour Seattle tour is good but the Tillicum village is horrible! I got 20 percent off the purchase and still wanted my ... more
K R.: "Don't go! Tourist trap!
"This is way overpriced and I left feeling ripped-off.
"The boat ride over is enjoyable.
"When we got to the island I was expecting a show of live performers and and salmon buffet. The food was so-so. I wish some one would have told me that soft drinks were not included in the price. It was one-time through the buffet line because they make it nearly impossible to make your way back, and there was no wait staff to serve us drinks during the meal. The show was mostly pre-recorded! With bits of live performances.
"I am from Seattle and would be embarrassded to take any out of town guests to this." less
"This is way overpriced and I left feeling ripped-off.
"The boat ride over is enjoyable.
"When we got to the island I was expecting a show of live performers and and salmon buffet. The food was so-so. I wish some one would have told me that soft drinks were not included in the price. It was one-time through the buffet line because they make it nearly impossible to make your way back, and there was no wait staff to serve us drinks during the meal. The show was mostly pre-recorded! With bits of live performances.
"I am from Seattle and would be embarrassded to take any out of town guests to this." less
K R.: "Don't go! Tourist trap!
"This is way overpriced and I left feeling ripped-off.
"The boat ride over is enjoyable.
"When we got to the island I was expecting a show of live performers and and salmon ... more
Photo: KEVIN MORRIS, Seattlepi.com File Photo
"This is way overpriced and I left feeling ripped-off.
"The boat ride over is enjoyable.
"When we got to the island I was expecting a show of live performers and and salmon ... more
Olympic Hot Springs
"When I went there with my family, we were shocked by the nudity and open gay sex. There were many older men with juvenile boys in the nude. I immediately took my family back to the park ranger station and filed a report. I called for a follow up to the regional office and was told the report was never sent up. I then called the station back and was accused of being a homophobe and bigot. I explained that I would report heterosexual activity if I had seen it and would have been equally outraged. What I found unforgivable were the nude children with a group of nude men that were in their what looked to be 40s. I don't know if this place is still a pedophile paradise and I will not return to find out." less
"When I went there with my family, we were shocked by the nudity and open gay sex. There were many older men with juvenile boys in the nude. I immediately took my family back to the park ranger station and filed a report. I called for a follow up to the regional office and was told the report was never sent up. I then called the station back and was accused of being a homophobe and bigot. I explained that I would report heterosexual activity if I had seen it and would have been equally outraged. What I found unforgivable were the nude children with a group of nude men that were in their what looked to be 40s. I don't know if this place is still a pedophile paradise and I will not return to find out." less
Olympic Hot Springs
"When I went there with my family, we were shocked by the nudity and open gay sex. There were many older men with juvenile boys in the nude. I immediately took my family back to the park ... more
Photo: KAREN SYKES
"When I went there with my family, we were shocked by the nudity and open gay sex. There were many older men with juvenile boys in the nude. I immediately took my family back to the park ... more
Leavenworth
Natasha G.: "I visited this little town with my family after hearing about it's alleged Bavarian charm. (I lived in Germany for years. I visited all over there and Austria so I know an authentic town when I see one. Though, I don't think I would've needed that life experience to spot this dud.) I have to say, I was thoroughly disappointed. The town is Bavarian, as promised. However, it reads more gimmicky old theme park. I can't understand how a town so geared towards tourism could be so unfriendly/cold. ... The parking is a joke (again, you're a tourist town). I saw several locals, repeatedly, shooting dirty looks at people who were obviously not from their backwoods, non-diverse town and it left me thoroughly ticked off; it happened enough that it was one of the things that really stuck about this place. The stores, like the town, lack all semblance of charm. This town is less Bavarian Winter Wonderland and more backwoods/back words (sic) town with a cheap themed backdrop propped over it. Not fooled; won't return." less
Natasha G.: "I visited this little town with my family after hearing about it's alleged Bavarian charm. (I lived in Germany for years. I visited all over there and Austria so I know an authentic town when I see one. Though, I don't think I would've needed that life experience to spot this dud.) I have to say, I was thoroughly disappointed. The town is Bavarian, as promised. However, it reads more gimmicky old theme park. I can't understand how a town so geared towards tourism could be so unfriendly/cold. ... The parking is a joke (again, you're a tourist town). I saw several locals, repeatedly, shooting dirty looks at people who were obviously not from their backwoods, non-diverse town and it left me thoroughly ticked off; it happened enough that it was one of the things that really stuck about this place. The stores, like the town, lack all semblance of charm. This town is less Bavarian Winter Wonderland and more backwoods/back words (sic) town with a cheap themed backdrop propped over it. Not fooled; won't return." less
Leavenworth
Natasha G.: "I visited this little town with my family after hearing about it's alleged Bavarian charm. (I lived in Germany for years. I visited all over there and Austria so I know an authentic ... more
Photo: JORDAN STEAD, Seattlepi.com File Photo
Natasha G.: "I visited this little town with my family after hearing about it's alleged Bavarian charm. (I lived in Germany for years. I visited all over there and Austria so I know an authentic ... more
The Great Wheel
Some body-shaming from Dre R.: "1 star for you, Seattle Great Wheel! We purchased tickets online in order to avoid the mass of breeders and their strollers waiting in line for 45 minutes. Why do you offer an 'Online Purchase and Will Call' window when the obese staff person can't understand the concept of 'advanced purchase'? Have fun all you tourist families and your crotch droplings, neither we nor our local friends will patronize your tourist trap hell!" less
Some body-shaming from Dre R.: "1 star for you, Seattle Great Wheel! We purchased tickets online in order to avoid the mass of breeders and their strollers waiting in line for 45 minutes. Why do you offer an 'Online Purchase and Will Call' window when the obese staff person can't understand the concept of 'advanced purchase'? Have fun all you tourist families and your crotch droplings, neither we nor our local friends will patronize your tourist trap hell!" less
The Great Wheel
Some body-shaming from Dre R.: "1 star for you, Seattle Great Wheel! We purchased tickets online in order to avoid the mass of breeders and their strollers waiting in line for 45 minutes. Why ... more
Photo: JORDAN STEAD, SEATTLEPI.COM
Some body-shaming from Dre R.: "1 star for you, Seattle Great Wheel! We purchased tickets online in order to avoid the mass of breeders and their strollers waiting in line for 45 minutes. Why ... more
Keith A.: "This ride would have been a lot funner if the employees pulled the
drunks out of line rather than be more concerned about having 6 people
in each cabin."
Keith A.: "This ride would have been a lot funner if the employees pulled the
drunks out of line rather than be more concerned about having 6 people
in each cabin."
Photo: Joshua Trujillo, Seattlepi.com
Sher Tay O.: "I think I had a panic attack. The wind was high, it was nighttime, and
the wheel moves over the Pacific Northwestern waters. I was not a fan."
Sher Tay O.: "I think I had a panic attack. The wind was high, it was nighttime, and
the wheel moves over the Pacific Northwestern waters. I was not a fan."
Photo: JOSHUA BESSEX, SEATTLEPI.COM
Fremont Troll
Hillary N.: "Lame. Hard to find and not worth the effort. People draw and write dumb things, mainly profanity, on it. Other people crowd a picture if you really want one. Lame lame lame. The pictures posted of it are enough, I wouldn't suggest wasting your time actually visiting it." less
Hillary N.: "Lame. Hard to find and not worth the effort. People draw and write dumb things, mainly profanity, on it. Other people crowd a picture if you really want one. Lame lame lame. The pictures posted of it are enough, I wouldn't suggest wasting your time actually visiting it." less
Fremont Troll
Hillary N.: "Lame. Hard to find and not worth the effort. People draw and write dumb things, mainly profanity, on it. Other people crowd a picture if you really want one. Lame lame lame. The ... more
Photo: Joshua Trujillo, Seattle Post-Intelligencer
Hillary N.: "Lame. Hard to find and not worth the effort. People draw and write dumb things, mainly profanity, on it. Other people crowd a picture if you really want one. Lame lame lame. The ... more
Kate M.: "Worst. Tourist. Attraction. Ever."
Kate M.: "Worst. Tourist. Attraction. Ever."
Photo: JOE DYER, Seattlepi.com File Photo
Janice H.: "Very random. Troll statue under a dark musky bridge. My family was like -
what on earth are we doing here? Little kids seemed to enjoy running
up and down the Troll and sticking their hands up his nose. Definitely not a place to take teenagers. The Fremont neighborhood is quaint to
visit. I'd just skip the troll visit."
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Janice H.: "Very random. Troll statue under a dark musky bridge. My family was like -
what on earth are we doing here? Little kids seemed to enjoy running
up and down the Troll and sticking their hands up ... more
Photo: Gilbert W. Arias, Seattle Post-Intelligencer
Ballard Locks
Matthew T.: "Worst place I have ever been to. Very boring. Only fun in the summer when their are salmon in the fish ladder. Takes forever for a boat to come and when it does it is more boring than watching paint dry. Would not recommend to my worst enemy." less
Matthew T.: "Worst place I have ever been to. Very boring. Only fun in the summer when their are salmon in the fish ladder. Takes forever for a boat to come and when it does it is more boring than watching paint dry. Would not recommend to my worst enemy." less
Ballard Locks
Matthew T.: "Worst place I have ever been to. Very boring. Only fun in the summer when their are salmon in the fish ladder. Takes forever for a boat to come and when it does it is more boring ... more
Photo: GRANT HINDSLEY, SEATTLEPI.COM
Matthew T.: "Worst place I have ever been to. Very boring. Only fun in the summer when their are salmon in the fish ladder. Takes forever for a boat to come and when it does it is more boring ... more
Alicia B.: "I am SERIOUSLY disappointed at this place... there was nothing special to watch!!!
"OK. About the English Botanical Garden... Where the hell is English garden? It was just a large lawn with some trees & some flowers. It just looked like someone's backyard. There was nothing specially beautiful, & nothing 'English' about it.
"Sure, it was pretty, BUT to be called 'botanical garden' they should have more collection of flowers & interesting/exotic plants, in an organized & attractive way. Me & my families/friends visited here, and we were shocked at how clumsy their garden setting was and how little their collection was."
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"OK. About the English Botanical Garden... Where the hell is English garden? It was just a large lawn with some trees & some flowers. It just looked like someone's backyard. There was nothing specially beautiful, & nothing 'English' about it.
"Sure, it was pretty, BUT to be called 'botanical garden' they should have more collection of flowers & interesting/exotic plants, in an organized & attractive way. Me & my families/friends visited here, and we were shocked at how clumsy their garden setting was and how little their collection was."
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Alicia B.: "I am SERIOUSLY disappointed at this place... there was nothing special to watch!!!
"OK. About the English Botanical Garden... Where the hell is English garden? It was just a large lawn with ... more
Photo: DANIELLA BECCARIA, SEATTLEPI.COM
"OK. About the English Botanical Garden... Where the hell is English garden? It was just a large lawn with ... more
Columbia Center's Sky View Observatory
Tara H.: "Very disappointing! I'm visiting Seattle and was hoping see the view everyone posts pictures of, but ended up only seeing my own reflection. I wish the person selling tickets would've warned me of the extreme fog before charging me almost $15." less
Tara H.: "Very disappointing! I'm visiting Seattle and was hoping see the view everyone posts pictures of, but ended up only seeing my own reflection. I wish the person selling tickets would've warned me of the extreme fog before charging me almost $15." less
Columbia Center's Sky View Observatory
Tara H.: "Very disappointing! I'm visiting Seattle and was hoping see the view everyone posts pictures of, but ended up only seeing my own reflection. I wish the person ... more
Photo: Joshua Trujillo, Seattlepi.com
Tara H.: "Very disappointing! I'm visiting Seattle and was hoping see the view everyone posts pictures of, but ended up only seeing my own reflection. I wish the person ... more
Laurie V. (who admittedly gave two stars): "This is the saddest excuse for an observation deck I've ever
experienced. It's like they just took an ordinary floor of an office
building and removed all the desks, then started charging $12.50 for
admission. In fact, that's exactly what they did.
"Pros: it's really quiet and uncrowded, because nobody in their right mind would come here." less
"Pros: it's really quiet and uncrowded, because nobody in their right mind would come here." less
Laurie V. (who admittedly gave two stars): "This is the saddest excuse for an observation deck I've ever
experienced. It's like they just took an ordinary floor of an office
building and removed all the ... more
Bloedel Reserve, Bainbridge Island
Sara H.: "This place is horrible. Basically you have to pay around $9/person for a nature walk that just winds back and fourth. There are very few flowers none of which were any more unique than you would see in a walk around your neighborhood. Also there were water installations but none had any lilly pads or fish....what is the point!! Also the 'waterfall' is so hidden you cant really take a picture and it is just the smallest trickle." less
Sara H.: "This place is horrible. Basically you have to pay around $9/person for a nature walk that just winds back and fourth. There are very few flowers none of which were any more unique than you would see in a walk around your neighborhood. Also there were water installations but none had any lilly pads or fish....what is the point!! Also the 'waterfall' is so hidden you cant really take a picture and it is just the smallest trickle." less
Bloedel Reserve, Bainbridge Island
Sara H.: "This place is horrible. Basically you have to pay around $9/person for a nature walk that just winds back and fourth. There are very few flowers none of which ... more
Sara H.: "This place is horrible. Basically you have to pay around $9/person for a nature walk that just winds back and fourth. There are very few flowers none of which ... more
Sandra C.: "Cannot see what is so special about this place. $15.00/per person to walk around mulch trails and look at trees. Sorry ...... this was a bust for us !!!!!"
Sandra C.: "Cannot see what is so special about this place. $15.00/per person to walk around mulch trails and look at trees. Sorry ...... this was a bust for us !!!!!"
Photo: JOSHUA TRUJILLO/P-I
Fort Worden State Park, Port Townsend
Jill P.: "I stayed at the castle on September 5th, 2014. Please do not waste your money. If you need a place to sleep do not go here. The buildings are old and smell very musty. Furnishing were run down and overall appearance - TIRED. I was told it had a gourmet kitchen, I suppose because it had a stove and refrigerator. I can assure you there was nothing gourmet about it. They provide a coffee pot, no coffee or tea. Do you need coffee in the morning, then drive over to the commons (another building) and stand in line for coffee and a muffin (hope your (sic) not hungry) because that's all they serve. A BIG disappointment." less
Jill P.: "I stayed at the castle on September 5th, 2014. Please do not waste your money. If you need a place to sleep do not go here. The buildings are old and smell very musty. Furnishing were run down and overall appearance - TIRED. I was told it had a gourmet kitchen, I suppose because it had a stove and refrigerator. I can assure you there was nothing gourmet about it. They provide a coffee pot, no coffee or tea. Do you need coffee in the morning, then drive over to the commons (another building) and stand in line for coffee and a muffin (hope your (sic) not hungry) because that's all they serve. A BIG disappointment." less
Fort Worden State Park, Port Townsend
Jill P.: "I stayed at the castle on September 5th, 2014. Please do not waste your money. If you need a place to sleep do not go here. The buildings are old ... more
Photo: Wolfgang Kaehler, Credit
Jill P.: "I stayed at the castle on September 5th, 2014. Please do not waste your money. If you need a place to sleep do not go here. The buildings are old ... more
Tina B.: "Stayed in one of the supposedly 'villas.' It was an upstairs apartment.
Absolutely nothing there. No dish towels. No TV. So we missed the
olympics. No shampoo. No coffee. The only thing I can say for the place
is that it was clean. Just be prepared. You have to bring every thing
with you and we were traveling on motorcycles and did not know." less
Tina B.: "Stayed in one of the supposedly 'villas.' It was an upstairs apartment.
Absolutely nothing there. No dish towels. No TV. So we missed the
olympics. No shampoo. No coffee. The only ... more
Photo: GRANT M. HALLER/P-I
How is Seattle marketed to tourists?
You might be able to take some worthy guesses: Space Needle! Ballard Locks! Pike Place Market! (And not "Pike's Place" for the love of the Sonics!)
And you'd be correct. These and other Puget Sound adventures are packaged with a great big price tag, when you'd probably be better off renting a car and asking the nearest local what to do. If you're willing to do your own driving or find some ideas on the internet, you'd probably have a much more spectacular time. And not have to deal with a tour guide's schedule.
Anyway. Check out what Seattle-area tourist excursions are being hawked to the poor saps with disposable income.
Then find the gallery of hilarious one-star Yelp reviews of beloved Seattle gems.
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