Erin Phillips this week revealed for the first time she has struggled with depression following the Opals' shock two-point loss to Serbia in the women's basketball quarter-finals at the Rio Olympics six months ago and fears she will never get over the disappointment.
It comes as a shock given her profound joy at becoming a parent of twins last November with her wife Tracy Gahan and being at the forefront of a wave of excitement leading the Adelaide Crows into the new AFL women's competition.
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Her situation follows an alarming increase in Australia's sporting heroes struggling to cope with what they personally perceive as failure, a situation that will heighten calls for greater support or closer monitoring of our elite athletes post-competition.
Phillips said that while she had been overwhelmed by the praise poured upon her for what she has brought to football, she said this new competition had done more for her than anyone could imagine because it reminded her what sport should also be about â enjoyment.
![Big kick: Erin Phillips of the Crows shows her style against the Western Bulldogs earlier this month.](/web/20170308114256im_/http://www.smh.com.au/content/dam/images/g/u/k/g/f/8/image.related.articleLeadwide.620x349.gulaxd.png/1488064307997.jpg)
While many have thought football may take her away from basketball with the Dallas Wings in the American Women's National Basketball Association and the Opals completely, she feels that it may in fact extend her career on the court and help her find the passion to get her through another Olympic campaign â Tokyo 2020.
"There has definitely been an element of depression after Rio," Erin said. "I had coffee with Rachael Sporn [three-time basketball Olympian] this week and it was the first time I opened up about the Rio Games. She has been in similar situations.
"It is four years of your life to train for two weeks and you have outside expectations, your own expectations, and to pull up so short as to where you should have finished is hard.
"It is really hard having been in a basketball program when I started in 2005 when it was the Commonwealth Games and the world championship, and it was two gold medals in my first year. That's who we were; we existed to win medals; to be successful.
"I was a rookie at that point, and coming into my senior year I took on a tonne of responsibility. I just wanted the win the gold medal to keep a tradition going.
"I could not talk too much about it [the Rio loss] with my family because thinking about it didn't make me feel any better let alone talking about it. When I saw Rachael I started to open up a bit, but  it still hurts. I don't think it will ever go away."
The personal challenge Phillips is confronting has also left her concerned about the welfare of her Opals teammates.
Phillips, 31, who will return to the Dallas Wings in the WNBA in April, said football could not have come at a better time for her, especially after Rio. "It has totally changed my life, my attitude," she said.
And like so many in the AFLW competition, Phillips is playing football for the first time since she was just a kid. Her famous football dad, Greg, was 14 when he helped to pull out stumps on his grandfather's property in Minnipa on South Australia's west coast after school and on Saturday's played footy for the juniors in the morning and got battered and bruised playing against men in the A-grade that afternoon. It was why he was such a strong, indeed a marvellous player, for Port Adelaide (343 games), South Australia (20) and Collingwood (84) from 1976-93. And he remains a great bloke.
Erin had pressure of a different kind as a young teenager; as a girl playing suburban footy against boys. "I copped a fair bit from parents of opposition," she said. "It was all about don't get beaten by a girl; it was all sexist.
"I am not sure whether football would have been ready for this current AFL Women's competition when I was 13; maybe over time but definitely not at this escalation. The timing of this competition has been perfect.
"For me, football stopped at 13 because it was all you could do. Some of the players [boys]Â went on and had that skill development stage by stage until going into under-17 competitions, to reserves, SANFL and a chance at the AFL. The process was there the whole way for them, but this is brand new for us. Some of these girls haven't done a weights program before, or sat down with a nutritionist, a wellness coach ... we're a long way away from the men. We are our own identity; we just happen to play the same sport.
"I have probably had more publicity in one season of football â as short as it has been â than I have had in my whole basketball career over 17 years. That didn't make me feel neglected as a basketballer; football is our sport, and because my dad played I have had a bigger relationship with the game and my football story is unique.
"I knew this competition was going to be pretty big, but not this big. People recognise me more than ever in the supermarket, and that's great for the sport. I love it when people say great game or great win. It is amazing how may people say that.
"The girls have mentioned how much their lives have changed because they are recognised now, but I remind them it's only a seven or eight-game season and off we go, back to the real world.
"I can look back at how things were when I left football at 13 and see life as it is now. Society has changed; this generation is more tolerant."
Phillips believes that generation Y has also brought far greater openness and understanding of whom we really are, and leaves no doubt this social acceptance has made it easier for girls to play a traditional boys' game without sexual preferences being a real issue.
"For me personally, I'm quite comfortable with my sexuality and my personal life," Phillips said. "In this regard I'm unbelievably happy. It's just right. We have come a long way as a society from back then, but I still think there is a long way to go.
"I would like to see this country legalise gay marriage and there be equality for everybody. Will I use my football to campaign for these rights? I have not sat down and thought about it because I have never seen myself as different, or thought that my relationship was that interesting. Apparently it has been, and maybe there is an element where I should be more outspoken and more in the public eye about it.
"I would just like it to be a situation whereby, oh that's OK, it's the same as being a heterosexual relationship. That's why I don't parade it because I don't think it is any different to being like my mum and dad's relationship or my sister's and her husband [Hawthorn star Shaun Burgoyne].
"I was very young, but I remember vividly watching my dad play, hanging on to the picket fence at Alberton Oval with a football under my arm. I'd like to be in a position where I am still playing football or basketball or both and having my kids [Blake and Brooklyn]Â watching me and having a memory of me playing sport. It is something really special; something they will forever have."
Remarkably, Phillips notes the irony in those who cling to the old belief that football is not a game for girls; that it's too physically demanding
"I genuinely believe football may actually extend my basketball career," Phillips said. "I know there is tackling and things like that, but my body feels much better after playing one game of football a week compared with two WNBA games and in the off-season sometimes four games a week in Europe taking rebounds and landing on a hardwood floor. For me, now it's seven or eight games in a season on a grassy field."
Phillips knows another Olympic campaign heading to Tokyo will cut short her sudden brilliant football career, and equally uncertain is whether she, Tracy and their beautiful three-month twins ultimately settle down in Dallas, Texas, where they have a house and Tracy's parents live.
Phillips repeated how great she felt life was right now, and joked that all she needed was for her dad to wear her No.13 guernsey around town like she wore his No.22 as a kid. But quick as a flash she also reminded herself of her need to make closure with Rio. "I'll get there," she said. We hope so.