New mum Zoe Hendrix has shared a raw post about her first 12 weeks of motherhood, admitting that sometimes, she feels like "a complete and utter failure".
Ms Hendrix, who welcomed a baby girl Harper-Rose in November last year, took to Instagram last week to share her candid reflections, writing poignantly about the mixed emotions she's experienced over the past three months.
"Some days I just want to curl up in a ball and sleep for days on end," the new mum, who met her husband Alex on reality TV show, Married at First Sight, writes. "Some days I feel guilty for not enjoying every moment of motherhood, remembering how much I wanted this little rainbow baby."
Ms Hendrix also articulates something many mums can relate to - feelings of grief and loss around her pre-baby life. "Some days I day dream about what life was like before motherhood and I wonder whether I was truly ready," she writes.
The mum shares the depth of love she feels for her baby girl - and how much joy she has brought to her, and her husband's life. "Some days I am intoxicated with love for this sweet child," she says, "and I can't imagine anything more beautiful than her milk drunk smile (even at 3am)"
Ms Hendrix then writes of the changes to her post-baby body - and her conflicting feelings about them. Sometimes she traces her stretch marks in complete awe of what her body has accomplished. While some days, she admits, "I google ways to remove those stretch marks."
For Ms Hendrix, other days are spent reflecting on just how fortunate she is to have "a healthy baby and a loving husband."I know I"ll look back at these precious days with this precious girl and wish I was back in the cot with her in my arms like I am tonight," she writes.
Admitting that she's just experienced the happiest and most challenging 12 weeks of her life," Ms Hendrix writes, "that my friends is my truth."
It's not the first time Ms Hendrix has shared candid snaps of motherhood - and moments of truth - to Instagram. Her account is a beautiful ode to the the mess and magic of parenting - showcasing the highs and lows and everything in between.
Including the odd poonami ...
Last week, Ms Hendrix posted this photo of herself in the shower - a moment captured by her husband.
"THE JOY of motherhood comes in moments," she captioned the photo. "There will be hard times and frustrating times. Just when you think you've got it sorted out, your baby will grow and you will face a new set of challenges ...And amid the challenges, there are shining moments of joy and satisfaction.... My ultimate happy face, with my darling Harper-Rose and a sexy ass shower cap."
Two weeks ago, Ms Hendrix admitted to her almost 80,000 followers that she had struggled with motherhood and felt "mentally out of my depth". Feeling "terrified" of her baby, not knowing how to respond to her cries," and missing the mother she never knew, Ms Hendrix said she could feel her mental health deteriorating.
" I needed to do something. And quickly. I thought that maybe getting out of the house would help, so from then on I put Harper into her pram and got walking. I walked and walked and walked, everyday. Sometimes up to 7km a day."
For the new mum, walking helped her gain both mental and physical strength. Encouraging other mothers to do the same, Ms Hendrix writes, "If you are at home, not coping or dealing with anxiety, depression, family problems etc, I encourage you to get out walking, I know it was the best thing I did and still do everyday."
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