I’m bored
Some of London’s most popular attractions are also its most expensive – looking at you Madame Tussauds (from £107 for a family of four), London Zoo (£84.60), London Sealife Aquarium (£136). On the plus side, most major museums are free – though a donation of around £5 per person is suggested – and offer dedicated trails, activities and sometimes apps for children. The Natural History Museum, Science Museum, British Museum, Museum of London, Imperial War Museum are all worth a visit.
The Horniman – with its eclectic natural history and musical instrument collections and a mini aquarium with poisonous frogs (£9 for a family of four) – is a firm favourite with south London families. My six-year old loves drawing and art but dismissed both Tates as “boring.” At his age it’s all about interactive exhibits and the Science Museum’s new gallery Wonderlab delivers on that front with all the buttons, pulleys and experiments a small child could wish for – plus live shows with explosions. It’s not free but costs less than many other London attractions (£20.20 for a family of four).
Beyond the museums, a sure-fire hit for us is the Southbank Centre, which hosts dedicated kids’ activities and events throughout the year, ramping up the offering during school holidays: coming up is the Imagine Children’s festival (9-19 February – make sure you book ahead). The Southbank has its own cafe and a bunch of chain restaurants, including Wagamama, Giraffe and Yo!Sushi, but we skip those in favour of the food market behind the Royal Festival Hall, which has dozens of street food stalls. Fuelled by a hotdog (proper sausages) and an ice-cream, in summer we then head to the Appearing Rooms fountains (bring spare clothes) overlooking the river. If we venture further, there’s a good hour or so worth of distractions including skateboarders, sand artists on the tiny tidal beach outside Gabriels’ Wharf and street entertainers – the bubble man outside Tate Modern always has a crowd of kids in thrall to him. On a similar note, there are nearly always good street entertainers in Covent Garden too.
West End shows are ludicrously expensive but outside central London there are fantastic theatres staging on innovative performances as well as activity sessions. Check out the programmes at the Polka children’s theatre in Wimbledon, Battersea Arts Centre, Unicorn Theatre near Tower Bridge, Little Angel Theatre in Islington and Hackney Empire (a vibrant production of Michael Morpurgo’s Running Wild from 22-25 March has rave reviews). Shows cost from as little as £8, – just make sure you book in advance.
Where are all the other kids?
London has more green space than any other major European city, so you’re never far from a park. In the city centre, the Princess Diana memorial playground is very popular with younger kids (free entry though sometimes a queue to get in) – with a tall wooden ship to clamber over, sand pit, teepees and obstacle course. Battersea park, south of the river, now has a Go Ape treetop adventure but at £35 per adult and £27 per child it’s not a cheap day out. Fortunately there’s a decent sized free playground. Ticketed attractions include the small zoo (family ticket £29) and “banana bikes” for hire (£10 an hour).
East London is home to the city’s oldest public park, Victoria, where you’ll find a playground, cafe, deer enclosure and lake, and its newest: the new Queen Elizabeth Olympic Park. Aside from the world’s longest (and probably most expensive) tunnel slide (£46 per family, £26 online) at the Anish Kapoor Orbit tower, there are two play areas, fountains, pedaloes and a climbing wall. Older kids and cycling fans could try a one-hour taster session at the Olympic velodrome (adult £40, junior £30) or BMX one-hour taster (adult £15, junior £12) at the LeeValley VeloPark.
If you’re visiting London in the summer don’t forgot the lidos - Tooting Bec Lido is the biggest (from there catch the 319 to Tooting Bec station then head up Upper Tooting Road for an excellent value lunch/dinner at two of London mayor Sadiq Khan’s favourite Pakistani restaurants: Mirch Masala and Lahore Karachi). Parliament Hill, Brockwell (in Brixton), and London Fields (Hackney) lidos are all great but only the latter is heated. Beware: there will be queues on sunny days, especially during school holidays.
Another unexpected find in the heart of the city is a farmyard full of animals – Spitalfields and Vauxhall City Farm are the most central, but there are 14 in Greater London.
Two spots beloved by Londoners are Kew Gardens and the Wetland Centre in Barnes. Gardens don’t tend to thrill kids but the treetop walkway, trails, playground and most recently The Hive installation (with hundreds of LED lights that glow and fade as a bee soundtrack hums and buzzes around you) are child-magnets at Kew (adults £15, children £3.50). Children may be unimpressed by the Wetland Centre’s stats (105-protected acres, 180 species of birds) but they love watching the regular otter feeds and playing in the adventure playground, even if they don’t show much interest in the wildfowl (adult £11.03, child £6.08).
The capital’s other major lung – and its biggest green space – is also in south-west London. Richmond Park, which is three times the size of New York’s Central Park, is home to herds of wild deer and has fantastic views of the city. Let the kids can run wild, then head for tea and cake at Pembroke Lodge or Roehampton Cafe. It’s a bit of a schlep from central London (take the train or tube to Richmond) but combine it with Kew or The Wetland Centre and make a day of it.
For older kids, the Bay Sixty6 skate park under the A40 (Westway) flyover has been serving skateboarders and BMX riders since 1997 in various states of repair and form. It has been sponsored by Playstation and XBox in its time but was redeveloped in 2011 by Nike for skateboarders, and features flat banks, ski jump style gaps and wall rides, a big bowl and beginner’s section. You have to become a member (free) and sessions start from £5 as well as offering tuition.
More outdoor adventure can be found at Stoke Newington’s West Reservoir, an inner-city watersports centre that runs canoeing, kayaking and sailing courses for all ages. Kids can join in with the centre’s youth club on the weekend (from 11am-3pm during the winter and 10am-1pm and 2pm-5pm during the summer) which costs £20 for the day and offers the opportunity to try a bit of everything. In the same spot is the impossible to miss Castle Climbing Centre (£12.50 for adults, £7.50 under 18s) , which is one of the best specialist centres in the capital with tons of bouldering walls, as well as top roping and lead climbing. During the warmer months it also has a eco-garden and outdoor cafe. There are taster sessions for children and families (£20pp). Under 18s cannot climb without the supervision of an experienced adult rope climber.Afterwards, it’s worth taking a wander; a peaceful footpath around West Reservoir connects to the newly opened Woodberry Wetlands nature reserve and the East Reservoir, which also has a cafe, Lizzy’s At The Coal House.
I’m hungry
As with the attractions, eating out in London has the potential to empty your pockets quicker than a modern-day Fagin. But if you make sure you’re in the right place at mealtimes you can eat well on a budget. Franco Manca started selling wood-fired sour dough pizzas (from £6.40) from a tiny restaurant in Brixton market but now has more 20 outlets across London, including in Soho, Tottenham Court Road and Covent Garden. Another great central option is China Town - which is fun place to wander around with its brilliant supermarkets. One of Observer food critic Jay Raynor’s picks of 2016 was the Four Seasons restaurant in Gerrard Street for its brilliant Cantonese roast duck. But never underestimate the appeal of dim sum to kids’ icky-picky tendencies.
My son loves the custardy sponge fish from the Chinatown Bakery (£2 for four, 7 Newport Place). For more central London budget eats see our guide.
If you’re east, a good spot to aim for is the bottom of Kingsland Road, which has a strip of cheap Vietnamese restaurants. Sông Quê Café is a favourite for pho soup, while Viet Hoa is another popular place. They’re just next door to the Geffyre, the museum of the home (an exhibition of teenagers’ bedrooms, running until 23 April, may make you feel better about your own offsprings’ pit), and not far from Hackney City Farm and the V&A Museum of Childhood, in Bethnal Green (which has daily arts and crafts, and storytelling).
Londoners tend to fall into one of two camps when it comes to food markets, seeing them as either “posh” rip-off or cool international feast. But one thing’s for sure, the snacks on offer are better quality and cost less than your average central London pub meal. The most famous is Borough Market (the pioneer but has the tendency to bankrupt) but Maltby Street (weekends only) in Bermondsey and Lower Marsh Street (weekdays) in Waterloo are worth a detour.
Teenager mecca Camden Lock has its fair share of bad food but for a unique ice-cream experience, kids love Chin Chin Labs, which makes “nitro ice-cream”. The shop, which is outfitted like a science lab, has theatrical plumes of vapour erupting from a large nitrogen canister that instantly freezes the custard base, creating a smooth, intense scoop with almost no ice crystals. Flavours err on the side of esoteric – jasmine, lychee and sesame powder – but plain old vanilla is just fine for the experience. Not cheap at around £5 a serving, but worth it for the theatre.
Food is one way the large free museums make money so the prices are steep … my advice is skip the cafe an and take a packed lunch.
I’m tired
According to VisitLondon, more than half of the hotel rooms that have opened in London since 2012 have been in the budget sector (though budget in London means from around £70 a night even in low season), so visitors are spoilt for choice as long as you’re not expecting high design. Although the sector has improved on that front with Ibis Styles and Z Hotels making a genuine effort with decor. Less aesthetically pleasing but gentler on the wallet are Premier Inn, Holiday Inn and Travelodge, which are a good option if you just want a central base rather than a home from home. London isn’t the best city for hostels (that accolade goes to Lisbon) but that’s improving too with Clink, Generator, Wombats and the good ol’ YHA all offering family rooms.
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