If you've ever watched Shark Tank and thought "This series could use a few more tech-y buzzwords and, I dunno, Gwyneth Paltrow", then Apple has created your ideal TV show.
The tech giant today revealed a first look at Planet Of The Apps (yep), their new upcoming reality show centred on the world of app development.
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Trailer: Planet of the Apps
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The new Apple Music series, hosted by Zane Lowe and featuring advisers Jessica Alba, Gwyneth Paltrow, Gary Vaynerchuk and will.i.am, sees app developers pitch for venture capital and mentorship.
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Trailer: Planet of the Apps
The new Apple Music series, hosted by Zane Lowe and featuring advisers Jessica Alba, Gwyneth Paltrow, Gary Vaynerchuk and will.i.am, sees app developers pitch for venture capital and mentorship.
The reaction online has been, well, outright laughter mixed with a hint of nerd-rage.
The series, hosted by New Zealand-born radio presenter Zane Lowe, sees budding dotcom dorks pitching their app ideas to celebrity business moguls Gwyneth Paltrow (Goop), Jessica Alba (Honest), Will.i.am (i.am+) and, uh, Gary Vaynerchuk (I used to watch his wine vlog, he seems okay enough).
The show's winning apps will get featured on Apple's App Store, probably making their 24-year-old virgin creators instant billionaires.
"Developers, they're the rock stars of right now," Will.i.am excitedly says in the promo, which is a cute joke all developers probably say to each other.
The rest of the clip might remind you of being stuck in an office PowerPoint presentation by that guy Jeff who sits over in brand innovations.
"What's your burn rate?" one guest mentor asks a contestant.
"Make pivots that kind of make sense to the user base you have right now," a dweeby guy holding a whiteboard marker advises another developer.
Understandably, the trailer was quickly panned on social media, particularly by prominent tech personalities.
"Today, I am ashamed to work for Apple. This is embarrassing, and not what we work hard for," Apple developer Renaud Lienhart wrote in a since deleted tweet.
"I'm sure Planet Of The Apps will be a great show for all those people who bug developers with their awful ideas," Instapaper founder Marco Arment joked.
Everything wrong with Apple. Celebrity worship, cheesiness and being total out of touch with reality. https://t.co/jcXmpwQVhA
— Eli Schiff (@eli_schiff) February 14, 2017
Devs: Hey the App Store has a few problems and its hard to be discovered. Can you take a look?
— Jake Frey (@frey) February 14, 2017
Apple: Uh nope but that would make great TV! https://t.co/IjYAc58XLF
Apple should be producing amazing content like Netflix Originals does. Not this garbage. I am disappointed.
— Dan Counsell (@dancounsell) February 14, 2017
Got an email from Apple asking me to apply for this. So glad I passed. https://t.co/pOU0QTMMvB
— Sam Soffes (@soffes) February 14, 2017
Planet of the Apps: Not intended for “us” but for the mainstream. Or, now “we” know how cooks have felt about Hell’s Kitchen for a decade.
— Rene Ritchie (@reneritchie) February 14, 2017
The series is set to premiere on Apple Music later this year.