Remember those mysterious, cloak-and-dagger park bench trysts in Oliver Stone's JFK? Now replace Donald Sutherland's collar-popped whistleblower with '00s electronic musician Moby.
It seems the superstar DJ, famous for the 1999 chart-topping album Play, is Washington DC's most unlikely secret intelligence expert.
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In a post on his Facebook yesterday, the Grammy-nominated resistance fighter, I mean, musician – real name Richard Melville Hall – said he'd spent the weekend "talking to friends who work in DC" and could "accurately" post inside information about the anxiety-inducing hellmouth that is Donald Trump's presidency.
I'd always imagined Kanye would be the Machiavellian DC celebrity insider, but this will do.
![Moby is ready to bring down Donald Trump.](/web/20170217124938im_/http://www.smh.com.au/content/dam/images/g/p/f/d/8/h/image.related.articleLeadwide.620x349.gud63v.png/1487146306482.jpg)
Among the revelations posted by Moby is apparent proof that the infamous 'golden showers' dossier is "100% real" and that Trump is being blackmailed by the Russian government, "not just for being peed on by Russian hookers, but for much more nefarious things," he wrote.
He also suggested that the Trump administration was manufacturing a war with Iran by putting US warships in their vicinity "in the hope that Iran will attack one of the ships and give the USA pretense for invasion".
"I'm writing these things so that when/if these things happen, there will be a public record beforehand," he added.
"These are truly baffling and horrifying times, as we have an incompetent president who is essentially owned by a foreign power."
Perhaps inevitably, the musician's post was coolly greeted, with Trump supporters calling on the star to stop "making a fool out of yourself", while casual onlookers mocked the whole ridiculous scenario.
if moby gets trump impeached, that is infallible proof that we are in a matrix-like simulation of reality https://t.co/wVwPSOiRmh
— Mira Gonzalez (@miragonz) February 13, 2017
If Trump responds to Moby with "Nobody listens to techno!" I will ascend to a higher plane
— Travis Marmon (@TravisMarmon) February 13, 2017
What an absolutely amazing simulation this would be if Moby ended up being the one that brings Trump down pic.twitter.com/5POyB5zCKF
— Gramatik (@Gramatik) February 13, 2017
The backlash prompted a bitter follow-up post from Moby, who sarcastically called himself a "bald clown who probably knows nothing".
"Maybe there isn't a Trump administration plan to go to war with Iran. And maybe Trump's inner circle isn't filled with Russian operatives," he wrote.
"Just don't look to closely at Flynn and Manafort and the USS Cole and the Russians who've disappeared or died recently and what's currently happening in the Ukraine," he added, rattling off a bunch of ongoing episodes in international politics, including the resignation of Trump's national security adviser Michael Flynn, apparently hours before mainstream media had even reported on it.
The posts aren't the first time the musician has publicly flamed Trump and his administration.
In January, he revealed that he was asked to perform at the new president's inauguration, saying he'd agree to the gig if Trump released his tax statements.
He was obviously uninvited after that outburst, but proceeded to put together a facetious playlist for the event featuring a selection of protest songs including Public Enemy's Fight The Power, Rage Against The Machine's Killing In The Name and The Clash's I'm So Bored With The USA.