Evening all.As the pig said to the robber.
What's the worst crime you've ever witnessed?
(
GeordieJay Streetlife., Wed 1 Feb 2017, 18:06,
Reply)
This forum! Hahahahaha(
Two Hats when you were partying I studied The Blade, Wed 1 Feb 2017, 18:23,
Reply)
I once saw a bloke get a pint glass smashed in his face.And I saw a guy get stabbed. Oh, and loads of drugs.
I think I might become a dragon kin.
(
Windy Pig The matrix ruined the columbine look for all of us, Wed 1 Feb 2017, 18:35,
Reply)
My dad stabbed me, but I didn't report it so it wasn't a crime (
mongychops, Wed 1 Feb 2017, 18:38,
Reply)
Oh, in that case, only the pint glass was a crime.(
Windy Pig The matrix ruined the columbine look for all of us, Wed 1 Feb 2017, 18:46,
Reply)
You were probably asking for it.(
Mr. Tea It's Okay! She's My Step Daughter!, Wed 1 Feb 2017, 19:02,
Reply)
Pardon?(
Windy Pig The matrix ruined the columbine look for all of us, Wed 1 Feb 2017, 18:47,
Reply)
It was the best of times, it was the worst are we led it off the road(
drimble nihilistic whimsy, Wed 1 Feb 2017, 19:10,
Reply)
Saw a guy get his ear slashed by some little scrote for no reason at all.(
Mr. Tea It's Okay! She's My Step Daughter!, Wed 1 Feb 2017, 18:46,
Reply)
Those converse you bought (
Richard mcbeef Teh Flebel's here and he's street guff, Wed 1 Feb 2017, 19:46,
Reply)
The problem with crime is that it only affects the lower classes. Plenty of people get obscenely wealthy by committing crimes for which no laws have been passed. "In its majestic equality, the law forbids rich and poor alike to sleep under bridges, beg in the streets and steal loaves of bread."
(
Barry Nyquist, Wed 1 Feb 2017, 20:06,
Reply)
There are next to no real upper class left , just being a barrister and sending your kids to harrow doesn't count (
mongychops, Wed 1 Feb 2017, 20:12,
Reply)
I used to work for an actual proper lord with a man or house. He had more in common with the workers than the types who you mentioned, and the types his adult children essentially became.
(
Barry Nyquist, Wed 1 Feb 2017, 20:15,
Reply)
Proper upper class people , we are running out , it's all about fame and money now, they were the first to sign up for ww1 before (
mongychops, Wed 1 Feb 2017, 20:20,
Reply)
I must've missed the bit where she signed up for the great War. (
Barry Nyquist, Wed 1 Feb 2017, 20:47,
Reply)
Big Brother would have been infinitely more entertaining with addition of mustard gas challenges(
drimble nihilistic whimsy, Wed 1 Feb 2017, 20:53,
Reply)
sausageadmin seems to have slowed down a bitPerhaps it'll pick up again at the weekend. What are YOU hoping will pick up at the weekend? Who are you hoping to pick up at the weekend?
Do you think Doctor Who should be played by an elderly jamaican lesbian? #RockHardBrexit
(
Two Hats when you were partying I studied The Blade, Wed 1 Feb 2017, 15:16,
Reply)
weather should pick up a bit next weekit's -2 at the moment, should reach a perky -23 at night by Monday
(
Grrrmachine your existence is still meaningless, Wed 1 Feb 2017, 15:18,
Reply)
So it looks like every time a second hand unit appears, the company that makes them snaps them up.(
Windy Pig The matrix ruined the columbine look for all of us, Wed 1 Feb 2017, 15:20,
Reply)
Jesus, they're doing a remake of Secret of NihmI think that was the first film I saw at the pictures
(
Two Hats when you were partying I studied The Blade, Wed 1 Feb 2017, 16:46,
Reply)
I think mine might have been Condorman(
Richard mcbeef Teh Flebel's here and he's street guff, Wed 1 Feb 2017, 16:53,
Reply)
*shrugs*
(
Two Hats when you were partying I studied The Blade, Wed 1 Feb 2017, 16:57,
Reply)
ah, 'public information films' would've been better(
Two Hats when you were partying I studied The Blade, Wed 1 Feb 2017, 16:58,
Reply)
Would it, though?(
Richard mcbeef Teh Flebel's here and he's street guff, Wed 1 Feb 2017, 17:03,
Reply)
I truly believe it wouldn't
(
Two Hats when you were partying I studied The Blade, Wed 1 Feb 2017, 17:07,
Reply)
you've got to get up pretty early in the morning etc(
Two Hats when you were partying I studied The Blade, Wed 1 Feb 2017, 17:17,
Reply)
Think mine was eitherLabyrinth or Basil The Great Mouse Detective
Both of which terrified me
(
GeordieJay Streetlife., Wed 1 Feb 2017, 17:00,
Reply)
I'm picking up my new car. And also picking up a man from Sweden at the airport.Also I'll pick up some beers. I'll probably pick up one of my dogs at one point because she's getting a bit old and struggles on the long walks. I might pick up a pizza to eat Saturday night. I'll probably pick up loads if stuff really. Can we narrow the question a little?
Also, I watched 2 episodes of Capaldi as Who and now I hope he never gets another job.
(
Windy Pig The matrix ruined the columbine look for all of us, Wed 1 Feb 2017, 15:20,
Reply)
Also I'll pick up some beers. I'll probably pick up one of my dogs at one point because she's getting a bit old and struggles on the long walks. I might pick up a pizza to eat Saturday night. I'll probably pick up loads if stuff really. Can we narrow the question a little?
Also, I watched 2 episodes of Capaldi as Who and now I hope he never gets another job.
(
tangledupinblue what will survive of us is guffs, Wed 1 Feb 2017, 15:23,
Reply)
have you got a Web cam in my workshop?(
Windy Pig The matrix ruined the columbine look for all of us, Wed 1 Feb 2017, 15:24,
Reply)
thing is, with every single digit fitting in your nostrils there's no way God didn't intend for us to pick our noses(
tangledupinblue what will survive of us is guffs, Wed 1 Feb 2017, 15:32,
Reply)
was it your favourite picking finger?:(
(
tangledupinblue what will survive of us is guffs, Wed 1 Feb 2017, 15:34,
Reply)
what a nice, clean jokeit doesn't have to be all 'eff this' and 'guffs that'
(
manolith - It must be some kind of cave bat, Wed 1 Feb 2017, 15:44,
Reply)
And if you don't believe in God, you could argue that if it was detrimental then natural selection would've taken care of it. I've got a nasty scab in my nose at the mo.
(
Barry Nyquist, Wed 1 Feb 2017, 18:03,
Reply)
2 pairs.(
Windy Pig The matrix ruined the columbine look for all of us, Wed 1 Feb 2017, 15:21,
Reply)
and they should rename the show dr tits(
manolith - It must be some kind of cave bat, Wed 1 Feb 2017, 15:40,
Reply)
you're getting some quite usefull responses here(
Woodkovsky I say, old chap, Wed 1 Feb 2017, 15:52,
Reply)
10 degrees in the 'pooli'm hoping my cash flow will pick up at the weekend, i need wine.
i think Doctor Who should be played by some gorgeous, muscly man who accidentally has his shirt ripped off in every episode
(
Smash Monkey totally inappropriate for all ages, Wed 1 Feb 2017, 15:21,
Reply)
I've had a scouse man phone me three times asking if Dave's thereEach time I've told him that he has the wrong number, but he keeps persevering. If only more british people had his can-do spirit.
(
Two Hats when you were partying I studied The Blade, Wed 1 Feb 2017, 15:30,
Reply)
hahahahahasaw the new doctor today, she said 'so, when did you move up here?'
i asked her what she meant. 'well, you're not from here, are you?'
i told her i was born and raised less than half a mile away and she looked amazed. she said i sound like a southerner! :D
(
Smash Monkey totally inappropriate for all ages, Wed 1 Feb 2017, 15:35,
Reply)
Do you not have the local twang?(
Two Hats when you were partying I studied The Blade, Wed 1 Feb 2017, 15:37,
Reply)
noi get called 'the posh one' by the local scallies. i also would never dream of setting foot outside the house in pyjamas, unless i'd forgotten to put the rubbish out and the truck was there and i had to rush
(
Smash Monkey totally inappropriate for all ages, Wed 1 Feb 2017, 15:44,
Reply)
I'd like to see more veggie sausages on sausageadmin(
tangledupinblue what will survive of us is guffs, Wed 1 Feb 2017, 15:21,
Reply)
Where's my tape?(
Windy Pig The matrix ruined the columbine look for all of us, Wed 1 Feb 2017, 15:24,
Reply)
it's being delivered by horse and cart, so it may take a few days(
tangledupinblue what will survive of us is guffs, Wed 1 Feb 2017, 15:30,
Reply)
Now I think of itI don't have a single machine in my possession capable of playing cassettes.
(
Two Hats when you were partying I studied The Blade, Wed 1 Feb 2017, 15:31,
Reply)
it's time to retire that 8-track and move into the modern world grandad(
tangledupinblue what will survive of us is guffs, Wed 1 Feb 2017, 15:33,
Reply)
Release it on wax cylinder and we'll talk turkey(
Two Hats when you were partying I studied The Blade, Wed 1 Feb 2017, 15:37,
Reply)
talking of turkeyi went to deli too today and had the 'aldo'. it was fucking delicious
(
manolith - It must be some kind of cave bat, Wed 1 Feb 2017, 15:45,
Reply)
Every time I go there, the fucker's closed!Who closes on Saturday lunch time??
(
Two Hats when you were partying I studied The Blade, Wed 1 Feb 2017, 15:47,
Reply)
it's only when they see you comingfrinkiac.com/gif/S04E08/571637/576225.gif?b64lines=ICdUSVMgTk8gTUFOLiAnVElTIEEKIFJFTU9SU0VMRVNTIEVBVElORwogTUFDSElORS4=
(
tangledupinblue what will survive of us is guffs, Wed 1 Feb 2017, 15:54,
Reply)
well, i asked whether we could get focaccia bread if we came in early enough and he said they haven't done any in a while as they're dealing with the aftermath of the wife's dad's death and aren't coming in early enough to make itso maybe they were at the funeral, you insensitive bastard
(
manolith - It must be some kind of cave bat, Wed 1 Feb 2017, 16:08,
Reply)
truthfully though, i've no idea(
manolith - It must be some kind of cave bat, Wed 1 Feb 2017, 16:22,
Reply)
he should still feel guilty(
tangledupinblue what will survive of us is guffs, Wed 1 Feb 2017, 16:23,
Reply)
I do, don't worry about thatI feel guilty pretty much all of the time.
(
Two Hats when you were partying I studied The Blade, Wed 1 Feb 2017, 16:32,
Reply)
ah, good pointPerhaps someone should email the administrator of the page.
(
Two Hats when you were partying I studied The Blade, Wed 1 Feb 2017, 15:28,
Reply)
those felt ones probably count as veggie(
manolith - It must be some kind of cave bat, Wed 1 Feb 2017, 15:43,
Reply)
Yeah, but how many fuzzies had to die to make them?(
Two Hats when you were partying I studied The Blade, Wed 1 Feb 2017, 15:51,
Reply)
Felt is made from the skin of a shrew(
Windy Pig The matrix ruined the columbine look for all of us, Wed 1 Feb 2017, 15:51,
Reply)
b3ta.com/talk/8042298
(
Richard mcbeef Teh Flebel's here and he's street guff, Wed 1 Feb 2017, 17:15,
Reply)
I'll have to go pick my kids up I suppose, they only live round the corner ffs (
mongychops, Wed 1 Feb 2017, 15:23,
Reply)
Probably going to have to pick up my Amazon order if it arrives this week while I'm at work.Going to a bar on Sat for only the second time since becoming single again so it would be good to pick up teh laydeez innit.
Doctor Who should clearly be played by an elderly Jamaican lesbian, or maybe a genderqueer amputee Communist brony. Anything liable to make it just that little bit interesting.
(
Graptomantic Yeti, Wed 1 Feb 2017, 15:34,
Reply)
If the Doctor was played by Rusty Lee, I'd watch it every fucking week(
Two Hats when you were partying I studied The Blade, Wed 1 Feb 2017, 15:38,
Reply)
b3ta.com/talk/8042274
(
Richard mcbeef Teh Flebel's here and he's street guff, Wed 1 Feb 2017, 17:11,
Reply)
I think they should get jar jar binks to play dr who(
tangledupinblue what will survive of us is guffs, Wed 1 Feb 2017, 15:35,
Reply)
I think they should cancel Dr Who and just repeat only fools and horses(
$$, Wed 1 Feb 2017, 15:41,
Reply)
noi fucking hate that show
(
Smash Monkey totally inappropriate for all ages, Wed 1 Feb 2017, 15:45,
Reply)
Nobody likes itthey either think that they like it, or feel like they should.
(
Two Hats when you were partying I studied The Blade, Wed 1 Feb 2017, 16:31,
Reply)
then they're obviously cunts(
Smash Monkey totally inappropriate for all ages, Wed 1 Feb 2017, 16:32,
Reply)
I liked the one where Del fell through a tear in the fabric of time and space(
Two Hats when you were partying I studied The Blade, Wed 1 Feb 2017, 15:46,
Reply)
and Trigger made a face at two points in space simultaneously(
Two Hats when you were partying I studied The Blade, Wed 1 Feb 2017, 15:46,
Reply)
hahaha you plonker!(
tangledupinblue what will survive of us is guffs, Wed 1 Feb 2017, 15:50,
Reply)
I think Miriam Margolyesshe should go back in time by punching a mare in the twat
(
$$, Wed 1 Feb 2017, 16:17,
Reply)
There's a link on the BBC news home page:'Elsewhere on the BBC
That's dinner sorted'
(
Richard mcbeef Teh Flebel's here and he's street guff, Wed 1 Feb 2017, 16:25,
Reply)
I've been looking for some good ham recipes following a little stroke of luck I had the supermarket recently(
Richard mcbeef Teh Flebel's here and he's street guff, Wed 1 Feb 2017, 16:35,
Reply)
fill the kettle, then slice the ham while it's boilingMake up a cup noodle, leave to steep for 5 minutes or so. Then pour the pot noodle over the ham. Voila! A simple, asian-inspired lunch!
(
Two Hats when you were partying I studied The Blade, Wed 1 Feb 2017, 16:43,
Reply)
that's right, cup noodlewhy did I say cup noodle?
(
Two Hats when you were partying I studied The Blade, Wed 1 Feb 2017, 16:44,
Reply)
Here's another classic:Light your primus stove (this will bring an added bonus of a little warmth to the room - handy when the leccy's cut off), heat up some water, add some free McDonalds ketchup, thin slices of ham, and boil for three minutes, or the time it takes to finish your meths and tweet T3h Donald. Bingo! Lunch = sorted.
(
Richard mcbeef Teh Flebel's here and he's street guff, Wed 1 Feb 2017, 16:52,
Reply)
I worked with some old dear who was one of those celiac's that you have now. Apparently that basically means you have to eat boiled ham and chips every night.
(
Barry Nyquist, Wed 1 Feb 2017, 17:04,
Reply)
Is celiac a new word for Irish?(
Richard mcbeef Teh Flebel's here and he's street guff, Wed 1 Feb 2017, 17:07,
Reply)
I thought soBetter update my 'Englishman, Irishman and a Scotsman' classic gag selection - and fast!
(
Richard mcbeef Teh Flebel's here and he's street guff, Wed 1 Feb 2017, 17:13,
Reply)
I worked with a couple of women who swore by Atkinsand if anyone ever dared say "that doesn't sound very healthy" they always responded with "OH, READ THE BOOK HAVE YOU?? NO?? WELL YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT THEN."
One of them would frequently snack on cold sausages, cut lenghtways, with primula piped along the gap.
(
Two Hats when you were partying I studied The Blade, Wed 1 Feb 2017, 17:09,
Reply)
FATkins, *I* call it!(
Richard mcbeef Teh Flebel's here and he's street guff, Wed 1 Feb 2017, 17:12,
Reply)
haha oh man, where were YOU 10 years ago!!!(
Two Hats when you were partying I studied The Blade, Wed 1 Feb 2017, 17:18,
Reply)
Fucking hell. This whole notion that healthy eating is some sort of cryptic hard to grasp science is a load of counterproductive shit. Unless you're an athlete it usually boils down to 'more veg, fewer crisps'
(
Barry Nyquist, Wed 1 Feb 2017, 17:22,
Reply)
Man tries to crack "my wife doesn't listen to me" joke then dies of embarrassment when he realises he got the joke wrongwww.bbc.co.uk/news/world-asia-38826211
(
Two Hats when you were partying I studied The Blade, Wed 1 Feb 2017, 16:39,
Reply)
DOCTOR WOMB MORE LIKE BECAUSE WOMEN(
Two Hats when you were partying I studied The Blade, Wed 1 Feb 2017, 17:19,
Reply)
makes a change for youI thought you were more of a bottom-getter
(
Grrrmachine your existence is still meaningless, Wed 1 Feb 2017, 13:58,
Reply)
Apparently red bull enquired to buy charlton, cunt wants 70 million, although I don't fancy being the Charlton redbulls at the redbulls stadium(
mongychops, Wed 1 Feb 2017, 14:01,
Reply)
they bought Leipzigthose mother fuckers are 2nd in the bundesliga
(
$$, Wed 1 Feb 2017, 14:03,
Reply)
they've got the money, it's just the rebranding that would bother me(
mongychops, Wed 1 Feb 2017, 14:08,
Reply)
yeah that is pretty shit I think all the sports clubs they have bought incorporate their logo on the badge
(
$$, Wed 1 Feb 2017, 14:10,
Reply)
we aint worth 70 anyway, he's only saying that because he reckons he's lent the club 50 and bought for 18, so he deserves to make a profit, yeah right you belgian wanker(
mongychops, Wed 1 Feb 2017, 14:14,
Reply)
Pffteveryone loves me, people just can't help butlove a narcissist (at least, that's what I think)
(
garidead I'd give that 5 minutes if I were you.., Wed 1 Feb 2017, 14:21,
Reply)
your perverted mind has ruined the beautiful relationship between a man and his butler(
Grrrmachine your existence is still meaningless, Wed 1 Feb 2017, 14:26,
Reply)
*monacle drops out*(
garidead I'd give that 5 minutes if I were you.., Wed 1 Feb 2017, 15:09,
Reply)
stop shoving it up there, then(
Smash Monkey totally inappropriate for all ages, Wed 1 Feb 2017, 15:27,
Reply)
Bottom get(
Windy Pig The matrix ruined the columbine look for all of us, Wed 1 Feb 2017, 14:34,
Reply)
wake up, wake up, it's the first of the month(
Woodkovsky I say, old chap, Wed 1 Feb 2017, 14:42,
Reply)
I'm back nowbut I've realised this thread is a bit Frank-esque, wanky wanky wank etc.
What are you bit -esque?
(
Grrrmachine your existence is still meaningless, Wed 1 Feb 2017, 11:15,
Reply)
you do remind me of a giant beetle(
Grrrmachine your existence is still meaningless, Wed 1 Feb 2017, 11:24,
Reply)
The Trial was better IMHOSo was In der Strafkolonie, Kafka was a bit of a mad un
(
H.B.Mupps, Wed 1 Feb 2017, 11:30,
Reply)
I'll burn your church m8(
Grrrmachine your existence is still meaningless, Wed 1 Feb 2017, 11:36,
Reply)
Too late m8It's nothing but ashes, and Euronymous was inside
(
H.B.Mupps, Wed 1 Feb 2017, 11:40,
Reply)
You're a bit like 4 swedes?Sort of weight? Or talent?
(
Windy Pig The matrix ruined the columbine look for all of us, Wed 1 Feb 2017, 12:19,
Reply)
Oh shitI just blurted out the first thing that came to mind. Right, I'm withdrawing my choice.
(
Two Hats when you were partying I studied The Blade, Wed 1 Feb 2017, 11:43,
Reply)
I'm deciding to just call you TwoHats againhappy wednesday!
(
Woodkovsky I say, old chap, Wed 1 Feb 2017, 11:46,
Reply)
see you're quick to judge rob, but it's not as easy to consistently come up with top quality internet lols as he makes it look(
tangledupinblue what will survive of us is guffs, Wed 1 Feb 2017, 11:52,
Reply)
ah, but I don't have a blue tick verifying me as a cult internet twitter celeb (
$$, Wed 1 Feb 2017, 11:56,
Reply)
one day, $$, one daydream big
(
tangledupinblue what will survive of us is guffs, Wed 1 Feb 2017, 11:57,
Reply)
Is that what the tick means?(
Windy Pig The matrix ruined the columbine look for all of us, Wed 1 Feb 2017, 12:19,
Reply)
What a cunt(
Windy Pig The matrix ruined the columbine look for all of us, Wed 1 Feb 2017, 12:27,
Reply)
sausageadmin.tumblr.com/
(
manolith - It must be some kind of cave bat, Wed 1 Feb 2017, 12:39,
Reply)
well I think this deserves recognition in the form of a short-lived spot on the popular page(
tangledupinblue what will survive of us is guffs, Wed 1 Feb 2017, 12:44,
Reply)
I can't believe you created an entire blog and did image searches and everything just for this.(
Graptomantic Yeti, Wed 1 Feb 2017, 12:56,
Reply)
and yet, here we are(
Two Hats when you were partying I studied The Blade, Wed 1 Feb 2017, 12:58,
Reply)
yep. took about 10 minuteswould have done it sooner but i'm at work, innit
(
manolith - It must be some kind of cave bat, Wed 1 Feb 2017, 13:11,
Reply)
fucking helltwitter.com/robmanuel/status/826063897442533381
(
Two Hats when you were partying I studied The Blade, Wed 1 Feb 2017, 12:58,
Reply)
we're laughingbut he's winning the hearts and minds of the general public
(
$$, Wed 1 Feb 2017, 13:02,
Reply)
i'll add some more later(
manolith - It must be some kind of cave bat, Wed 1 Feb 2017, 13:12,
Reply)
This is art(
Windy Pig The matrix ruined the columbine look for all of us, Wed 1 Feb 2017, 13:19,
Reply)
he knows where we are(
tangledupinblue what will survive of us is guffs, Wed 1 Feb 2017, 13:38,
Reply)
he will when the next newsletter is ready(
tangledupinblue what will survive of us is guffs, Wed 1 Feb 2017, 13:50,
Reply)
Nicolae Ceauș(
tangledupinblue what will survive of us is guffs, Wed 1 Feb 2017, 11:49,
Reply)
easy for you to say(
Two Hats when you were partying I studied The Blade, Wed 1 Feb 2017, 11:50,
Reply)
you can be my wife and deputy any day(
tangledupinblue what will survive of us is guffs, Wed 1 Feb 2017, 11:54,
Reply)
fucks sake manolith can you get in touch with one of the proper mods and get this issue sorted once and for all?
I think it may be losing the site traffic
(
tangledupinblue what will survive of us is guffs, Wed 1 Feb 2017, 11:50,
Reply)
I expect b3ta is particularly popular in Romaniapossible Moldova too
(
Grrrmachine your existence is still meaningless, Wed 1 Feb 2017, 11:54,
Reply)
But how else are we going to post the lyrics to the Numa Numa song?(
Graptomantic Yeti, Wed 1 Feb 2017, 12:42,
Reply)
I think I need a change of job.Anyone got any vacancies they need filled?
(
monster munch #pissdancing, Wed 1 Feb 2017, 12:08,
Reply)
Much as I love Two Hats,I'm not sure that I'd want to work for him.
(
monster munch #pissdancing, Wed 1 Feb 2017, 12:16,
Reply)
Oh, I'm a terrible employer(
Two Hats when you were partying I studied The Blade, Wed 1 Feb 2017, 12:33,
Reply)
i still think it would be better if only the person whose birthday it is got one, not everybody(
mongychops, Wed 1 Feb 2017, 12:43,
Reply)
But then what kind of a birthday would that be for me??(
Two Hats when you were partying I studied The Blade, Wed 1 Feb 2017, 12:52,
Reply)
no wayinformatics is the future. You remain where you are and suck it up.
(
$$, Wed 1 Feb 2017, 12:24,
Reply)
Bollocks.Actually, the job's alright, I just want to get paid the same to do less work from an office nearer to where I live. Is that too much to ask?
(
monster munch #pissdancing, Wed 1 Feb 2017, 12:28,
Reply)
I'm basquesque(
Windy Pig The matrix ruined the columbine look for all of us, Wed 1 Feb 2017, 12:18,
Reply)
You sorted my radio out yet?I'm sorely tempted by that 200 quid MST box. Saves the fucking around. Although they don't seem to exist second hand which is weird.
(
Windy Pig The matrix ruined the columbine look for all of us, Wed 1 Feb 2017, 13:19,
Reply)
haven't looked, I was busybut yeah, any accessory like that is likely to be flogged on the specific forum for that car; dunno if there's an XC90 UK group that you can ask.
(
Grrrmachine your existence is still meaningless, Wed 1 Feb 2017, 13:27,
Reply)
Second breakfast morning threadI'm wearing the Tesco Value Grrrmachine t-shirt this morning.
(
Graptomantic Yeti, Wed 1 Feb 2017, 8:22,
Reply)
Uninteruptable Morning Thread active*please insert 50p*
(
garidead I'd give that 5 minutes if I were you.., Wed 1 Feb 2017, 8:27,
Reply)
Greatnow there's a funny smell coming from the meter.
(
garidead I'd give that 5 minutes if I were you.., Wed 1 Feb 2017, 8:37,
Reply)
(
Richard mcbeef Teh Flebel's here and he's street guff, Wed 1 Feb 2017, 8:40,
Reply)
He seems quite worried about Axl Rose's sausage purchasetwitter.com/robmanuel/status/826486340510429184
(
Two Hats when you were partying I studied The Blade, Wed 1 Feb 2017, 10:14,
Reply)
Excuse me..."retard with no self-awareness", thank you very muchtwitter.com/robmanuel/status/826217073030356993
(
Two Hats when you were partying I studied The Blade, Wed 1 Feb 2017, 10:18,
Reply)
(
Richard mcbeef Teh Flebel's here and he's street guff, Wed 1 Feb 2017, 10:57,
Reply)
there is not one bit of comedy in that whole thing, what a bunch of wankers (
mongychops, Wed 1 Feb 2017, 10:22,
Reply)
Generally speaking, jokes are supposed to include an element of humourI don't really see what's so strange about buying 7 sausages.
(
Two Hats when you were partying I studied The Blade, Wed 1 Feb 2017, 10:23,
Reply)
hahahaha 7 sausages!!!classic rob!
(
tangledupinblue what will survive of us is guffs, Wed 1 Feb 2017, 10:26,
Reply)
He very much has his finger on the pulse of comedy(
Two Hats when you were partying I studied The Blade, Wed 1 Feb 2017, 10:27,
Reply)
I buy sausages in packs of twelve,but will sometimes cook an uneven number of them for a meal.
Someone should set up an "uneven number of sausages" tumblr, and blow Rob's mind.
(
monster munch #pissdancing, Wed 1 Feb 2017, 10:26,
Reply)
No doubt he's confused by the notion of cooking for more than one person.(
monster munch #pissdancing, Wed 1 Feb 2017, 10:24,
Reply)
3 sausages for Axl, 3 for Mrs Axl one for Axl dog.
Mystery solved
(
garidead I'd give that 5 minutes if I were you.., Wed 1 Feb 2017, 10:27,
Reply)
Or even 3 for Axl, and two each for Axl Jr and Axlinalovely couple of kids
(
Two Hats when you were partying I studied The Blade, Wed 1 Feb 2017, 10:28,
Reply)
well there's no accounting for taste(
Two Hats when you were partying I studied The Blade, Wed 1 Feb 2017, 10:41,
Reply)
How many sausages does Kunt fry, do you think?(
monster munch #pissdancing, Wed 1 Feb 2017, 10:36,
Reply)
dependswhat's the WACKIEST number of sausages? Probably a THOUSAND OR SUMMAT
(
Two Hats when you were partying I studied The Blade, Wed 1 Feb 2017, 10:42,
Reply)
lol who knows what he's going to do nexthe's mad!!!
(
tangledupinblue what will survive of us is guffs, Wed 1 Feb 2017, 11:01,
Reply)
376 for him, 1 for Mrs Manuel,623 for the kids and The Gang to share (with any leftovers sent to Axl Rose).
(
monster munch #pissdancing, Wed 1 Feb 2017, 10:45,
Reply)
FUCK YOU(
Windy Pig The matrix ruined the columbine look for all of us, Wed 1 Feb 2017, 8:35,
Reply)
wake up on the wrong side of the bed or under it, Grumpy Pig?(
Woodkovsky I say, old chap, Wed 1 Feb 2017, 8:36,
Reply)
Nope, I'm in a great mood.(
Windy Pig The matrix ruined the columbine look for all of us, Wed 1 Feb 2017, 8:41,
Reply)
I wish I could somehow change my settings to strikey-g and all that, it just won't change back :((
Woodkovsky I say, old chap, Wed 1 Feb 2017, 8:43,
Reply)
What do you mean?A strikey-g is
(
Windy Pig The matrix ruined the columbine look for all of us, Wed 1 Feb 2017, 8:47,
Reply)
there used to be a thing in the settings but i guesss its fcked. or do i just juse code?(
Woodkovsky I say, old chap, Wed 1 Feb 2017, 8:49,
Reply)
yeah, codeteh uplaod codez
(
manolith - It must be some kind of cave bat, Wed 1 Feb 2017, 8:50,
Reply)
I never saw a settings thing. I just the <s>(
Windy Pig The matrix ruined the columbine look for all of us, Wed 1 Feb 2017, 8:53,
Reply)
im so stupid it doesn't work /mod edit:
(
Woodkovsky I say, old chap, Wed 1 Feb 2017, 8:57,
Reply)
omg the first time a mod edited (not deleted) a message of mine(
Woodkovsky I say, old chap, Wed 1 Feb 2017, 9:26,
Reply)
I'm only slowly arriving middle-aged, so I've still got some funkhbu?
(
Woodkovsky I say, old chap, Wed 1 Feb 2017, 8:40,
Reply)
My traps are sulking after Monday's gym-fest, but my gait is light and groovy.(
Graptomantic Yeti, Wed 1 Feb 2017, 8:46,
Reply)
the stripes suit youalright yeti, everyone
(
manolith - It must be some kind of cave bat, Wed 1 Feb 2017, 8:38,
Reply)
not the herro b3ta needs, but the one it deserves(
manolith - It must be some kind of cave bat, Wed 1 Feb 2017, 8:43,
Reply)
Moito bumorbrigardoh
(
garidead I'd give that 5 minutes if I were you.., Wed 1 Feb 2017, 9:21,
Reply)
ManoDid you see those pictures of people coming down to the royal rumble on little go karts?
(
Windy Pig The matrix ruined the columbine look for all of us, Wed 1 Feb 2017, 8:47,
Reply)
i did, it was pretty funnyi wondered why they kept showing people appearing at the top of the ramp and then cutting back to the ring.
it was a fucking long way though
(
manolith - It must be some kind of cave bat, Wed 1 Feb 2017, 8:49,
Reply)
Yeah, very long.I didn't think much of the rumble to be honest.
(
Windy Pig The matrix ruined the columbine look for all of us, Wed 1 Feb 2017, 8:54,
Reply)
i thought it was alright apart from the end, but then it's been years since i've agreed with the choice of rumble winner(
manolith - It must be some kind of cave bat, Wed 1 Feb 2017, 9:07,
Reply)
I didn't watch all of it, but the ending was not for me(
Windy Pig The matrix ruined the columbine look for all of us, Wed 1 Feb 2017, 9:35,
Reply)
not exactly m8(
Richard mcbeef Teh Flebel's here and he's street guff, Wed 1 Feb 2017, 9:32,
Reply)
Gina G never quite recovered from her stroke(
drimble nihilistic whimsy, Wed 1 Feb 2017, 9:13,
Reply)
cor I'd have a stroke over gina geh lads? eh? eh?
(
tangledupinblue what will survive of us is guffs, Wed 1 Feb 2017, 9:20,
Reply)
hashtag lady boarders m8(
Richard mcbeef Teh Flebel's here and he's street guff, Wed 1 Feb 2017, 9:21,
Reply)
Even if you would hashtag, she probably wouldn't.(
monster munch #pissdancing, Wed 1 Feb 2017, 9:22,
Reply)
wait I thought I was the lady boarder?(
tangledupinblue what will survive of us is guffs, Wed 1 Feb 2017, 9:26,
Reply)
Well that's quite apt as I have had a 2nd breakfast (
Major Turd for tonight only, Wed 1 Feb 2017, 9:00,
Reply)
I fought the lore and the lore won(
Two Hats when you were partying I studied The Blade, Wed 1 Feb 2017, 10:42,
Reply)
My t-shirt is red and has podka dots on:)(
tangledupinblue what will survive of us is guffs, Wed 1 Feb 2017, 9:04,
Reply)
ooooh. O.oI'll have to check this statement for truth.
Brace yourself.
(
$$, Wed 1 Feb 2017, 9:10,
Reply)
You like what you see?(
tangledupinblue what will survive of us is guffs, Wed 1 Feb 2017, 9:17,
Reply)
it's nothing without the zeros get as well(
tangledupinblue what will survive of us is guffs, Wed 1 Feb 2017, 9:27,
Reply)
Late for work thanks to horrendous traffic, plus I'm leaving early to take to boy to the quack.Think I'm pushing the idea of flexible working past its limit.
On the plus side, my Amazon delivery looks to be arriving early, despite me opting for "no rush" delivery, and I'll have probably built up enough credit for another free film rental.
(
monster munch #pissdancing, Wed 1 Feb 2017, 9:21,
Reply)
Czesc MoMu.My current Amazon delivery is throwing me off a little. When I ordered in mid-Jan it said the expected delivery date was between 31 Jan and the end of the first week of Feb, but they then told me it shipped about ten days ago. Haven't got it yet, so I'm beginning to think they shipped it from the Moon or something.
(
Graptomantic Yeti, Wed 1 Feb 2017, 9:33,
Reply)
I've noticed that most of my recent orders go out from the warehouse down the road, but then make their way to me via Luton or Hemel.I should just offer to pick them up from the local warehouse.
(
monster munch #pissdancing, Wed 1 Feb 2017, 9:48,
Reply)
I met a pretty lass from Luton when I was a student(
Woodkovsky I say, old chap, Wed 1 Feb 2017, 10:37,
Reply)
check ur binary gender privilege pls (
tangledupinblue what will survive of us is guffs, Wed 1 Feb 2017, 9:34,
Reply)
I think I'm a 01110000 01101111 01110100 01100001 01110100 01101111(
$$, Wed 1 Feb 2017, 9:41,
Reply)
01101100 01101111 01101100(
tangledupinblue what will survive of us is guffs, Wed 1 Feb 2017, 9:45,
Reply)
That's Mr. Dicks to you.(
Windy Pig The matrix ruined the columbine look for all of us, Wed 1 Feb 2017, 9:36,
Reply)
Dick Medical school drop out, eh?(
Two Hats when you were partying I studied The Blade, Wed 1 Feb 2017, 9:49,
Reply)
Two Hats and Yeti, sitting in a treeG.U.F.F.I.N.G
(
Two Hats when you were partying I studied The Blade, Wed 1 Feb 2017, 9:48,
Reply)
After eating the hotel fry up yesterday, I reasoned I'd be better off skipping it and having an extra 10 minutes in bed. (
Barry Nyquist, Wed 1 Feb 2017, 9:35,
Reply)
woah, deloltion(
Two Hats when you were partying I studied The Blade, Wed 1 Feb 2017, 10:21,
Reply)
Well, I'm not going to repeat my fried bread tip.Nor the thing about beans.
Sorry, internet.
(
monster munch #pissdancing, Wed 1 Feb 2017, 10:33,
Reply)
they don't deserve you, Ems(
Two Hats when you were partying I studied The Blade, Wed 1 Feb 2017, 10:39,
Reply)
I don't think I even saw the thing about beans.Sad tiemz.
(
Graptomantic Yeti, Wed 1 Feb 2017, 11:13,
Reply)
It's ok, I've already reported this to Robhe feels very strongly about fried sausages.
(
Two Hats when you were partying I studied The Blade, Wed 1 Feb 2017, 10:22,
Reply)
So I see.He'll probably get back to you once he's solved the mystery of Axl Rose's missing slice of fried bread.
(
Graptomantic Yeti, Wed 1 Feb 2017, 10:24,
Reply)
morningtoday's morning thread is time-limited to 0815 GMT. After that time, you are on your own.
(
Grrrmachine your existence is still meaningless, Wed 1 Feb 2017, 6:54,
Reply)
TURD, more like!any poster after this fails to get on the podium and must consider themselves one of life's many losers.
(
Grrrmachine your existence is still meaningless, Wed 1 Feb 2017, 7:14,
Reply)
Yeah, the people not posting here this early are definitely the losers.(
Windy Pig The matrix ruined the columbine look for all of us, Wed 1 Feb 2017, 7:22,
Reply)
"Ich bin ein Verlierer" (loser) as opposed to "Ich bin ein Berliner"
(
Woodkovsky I say, old chap, Wed 1 Feb 2017, 7:41,
Reply)
I witnessed you breaking your own rule I think that means they changed something
(
spanishfly I apologise for being tedious, Wed 1 Feb 2017, 7:25,
Reply)
It's deep I know Just deal with it ok
(
spanishfly I apologise for being tedious, Wed 1 Feb 2017, 7:25,
Reply)
what are you wittering on about?(
Grrrmachine your existence is still meaningless, Wed 1 Feb 2017, 7:34,
Reply)
Well, that's it from GRRRMACHINE this morning.(
Windy Pig The matrix ruined the columbine look for all of us, Wed 1 Feb 2017, 8:15,
Reply)
yer, I'm done, someone else can take overlaterzzzz
(
Grrrmachine your existence is still meaningless, Wed 1 Feb 2017, 8:16,
Reply)
Hi everyon'eI've noticed that Donald Fart has toned down the ol' tan since taking office.
What have *you* noticed?
I'm looking forward to my free dinner tonight. Ever been given something by a business to say sorry for a fuckup?
(
Richard mcbeef Teh Flebel's here and he's street guff, Tue 31 Jan 2017, 17:34,
Reply)
Got upgraded to a private suite and pool in Bali because the hotel I'd booked couldn't put me up on the first night , two weeks of free 5 star living , even had my own guide (
mongychops, Tue 31 Jan 2017, 17:37,
Reply)
fucking hell that's not bad ehMakes my dinner for two look a bit lame
(
Richard mcbeef Teh Flebel's here and he's street guff, Tue 31 Jan 2017, 17:41,
Reply)
It was my honeymoon , so I still had to put up with a crying women saying I'd booked it wrong (
mongychops, Tue 31 Jan 2017, 17:44,
Reply)
(
Mr. Tea It's Okay! She's My Step Daughter!, Tue 31 Jan 2017, 19:53,
Reply)
yeah but try not to just think of the money mongy, try to think of all the other benefits(
vladimir whitcomb is betwixt, Tue 31 Jan 2017, 22:59,
Reply)
I mean for example this evening I have learned from the popular page that only homosexuals are allowed to drink proper coffee(
vladimir whitcomb is betwixt, Tue 31 Jan 2017, 23:05,
Reply)
Just got back from Trainspotting 2Loved it. Great soundtrack too.
(
planearm, Tue 31 Jan 2017, 18:33,
Reply)
I just made a 7 minute walk to a nice looking pub near my hotel. Google maps neglected to tell me half the roof is now missing. (
Barry Nyquist, Tue 31 Jan 2017, 18:45,
Reply)
I once took a bag of crisps back to Sainsbury's, to take advantage of their "love me or your money back" guarantee.I didn't enjoy the crisps, so they gave me my money back.
Sorry, mongy, but it looks like I'm the high roller in this thread.
(
monster munch #pissdancing, Tue 31 Jan 2017, 19:10,
Reply)
I can beat that. Once I was about to buy four cheese topped rolls but the cashier noticed the bag had split and sent someone off to fetch more but they only had six packs left so they have me them for the same price. (
Barry Nyquist, Tue 31 Jan 2017, 19:18,
Reply)
My wife ordered 3 small pizzas from Tesco, but they only had 2,so they sent those, plus a pack of 4, so we got 6 pizzas for the price of 3.
This week, we got 12 rolls for the price of 8.
I'll enjoy this "crappiest brag contest", up until someone points out that they put everything through the self-service tills as onions, and I lose my shit over the fact that this is actual theft.
(
monster munch #pissdancing, Tue 31 Jan 2017, 19:23,
Reply)
Strictly speaking, I think it's fraud. It's incredibly gyppo either way, and I think I have more respect for someone brazen enough to attempt to steal something properly.
(
Barry Nyquist, Tue 31 Jan 2017, 19:30,
Reply)
See?I'm the one bringing it up, and I've already made a fool of myself.
(
monster munch #pissdancing, Tue 31 Jan 2017, 19:35,
Reply)
If it makes you feel better I've bought stolen steaks from a smackhead who'd clearly nicked them. (
Barry Nyquist, Tue 31 Jan 2017, 19:37,
Reply)
I remember when this board was wall-to-wall this kind of quality cheese pun, WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED EH? (
vladimir whitcomb is betwixt, Tue 31 Jan 2017, 23:10,
Reply)
I've never seen you and Trump in a room together.#justsayin
(
monster munch #pissdancing, Tue 31 Jan 2017, 19:24,
Reply)
I once got some vouchers because my deliveroo food was 25 minutes late.(
Windy Pig The matrix ruined the columbine look for all of us, Tue 31 Jan 2017, 21:06,
Reply)
i once opened a can of cherry 7up and it smelt of guffs so i complained to britvic or whoeverand they sent me fuck all
(
manolith - It must be some kind of cave bat, Tue 31 Jan 2017, 21:45,
Reply)
Got 6 Ferrero Rocher collections for free I really spoiled my ambassador that day
(
$$, Tue 31 Jan 2017, 21:47,
Reply)
oh yeah, i forgot about that(
manolith - It must be some kind of cave bat, Tue 31 Jan 2017, 22:48,
Reply)
I worked as a manager in a hotel in my youth and it was standard practice to comp bottles of wine etc for people unhappy with something I soon realised that I could sign off bottles of wine for myself and my staff under the guise of a non-existent complaint.
Sorry monster munch, this is more of a theft story, but they didn't pay very well.
(
tangledupinblue what will survive of us is guffs, Tue 31 Jan 2017, 21:59,
Reply)
The Hilton would only be 39.99 week nights if it wasn't for this in-house crime (
mongychops, Tue 31 Jan 2017, 22:09,
Reply)
Poor Conrad could've been a rich man if it hadn't been for low level managers living the high life (
tangledupinblue what will survive of us is guffs, Tue 31 Jan 2017, 22:24,
Reply)
Not interested I'm making a shitload hustling at pool (
tangledupinblue what will survive of us is guffs, Tue 31 Jan 2017, 22:32,
Reply)
You pikey cunt.Still, maybe you were just taking advantage of a lax system? Yeah, maybe I can rationalise it that way.
(
monster munch #pissdancing, Tue 31 Jan 2017, 22:14,
Reply)
This why we need to focus on overthrowing the bourgeoise(
Barry Nyquist, Tue 31 Jan 2017, 23:01,
Reply)
Up the workers!Particularly those that are nicking stuff.
(
monster munch #pissdancing, Tue 31 Jan 2017, 23:31,
Reply)
I once pointed out an issue with a food product, the company offered me a couple of free packets of the product in question, I said thanks but please send it direct to the local foodbank, thereby making myself a massively tedious virtue signaler, true story
(
vladimir whitcomb is betwixt, Tue 31 Jan 2017, 22:59,
Reply)
yes I've always wondered that, but that's for them isn't it, I gave them the address, and I like to think that as they were going to send the goods to me, they might as well have sent them to the foodbank
(
vladimir whitcomb is betwixt, Tue 31 Jan 2017, 23:06,
Reply)
Could have dropped them round yourself, that way you wouldn't spend the rest of your days wondering(
drimble nihilistic whimsy, Tue 31 Jan 2017, 23:07,
Reply)
it's OK I can tolerate the uncertainty mostly
(
vladimir whitcomb is betwixt, Tue 31 Jan 2017, 23:09,
Reply)
Fine for some, well adjusted people, me it'd be sleepless nights(
drimble nihilistic whimsy, Tue 31 Jan 2017, 23:10,
Reply)
That thread was the bentest thread we've had in quite some timeWhat's the opposite of bent?
(
Grrrmachine your existence is still meaningless, Tue 31 Jan 2017, 14:30,
Reply)
Surely you're SHUT UP(
Two Hats when you were partying I studied The Blade, Tue 31 Jan 2017, 14:35,
Reply)
he's a 'rapping man'who is in the news today
(
manolith - It must be some kind of cave bat, Tue 31 Jan 2017, 15:01,
Reply)
put up a load of cryptic billboards, it seems(
manolith - It must be some kind of cave bat, Tue 31 Jan 2017, 15:08,
Reply)
i just read, debut album coming it seems, i'll be buying that brah (
mongychops, Tue 31 Jan 2017, 15:10,
Reply)
I cannot begin to comprehend the appeal of "UK Garage".(
monster munch #pissdancing, Tue 31 Jan 2017, 15:00,
Reply)
I fear this may be correct.How do you stay so in tune with "da yoot", mongy?
(
monster munch #pissdancing, Tue 31 Jan 2017, 15:09,
Reply)
Annoying one's own children is a laudable endeavour.(
monster munch #pissdancing, Tue 31 Jan 2017, 15:16,
Reply)
I've hopefully bred an army of bumwipers,to see me through my dotage.
(
monster munch #pissdancing, Tue 31 Jan 2017, 15:58,
Reply)
I'm aiming for being wealthy enough to hire someone for thatOr a world where arse wiping robots are the norm by the time I reach old age
(
H.B.Mupps, Tue 31 Jan 2017, 16:18,
Reply)
In a perfect world, I'd be able to have a really tremendous shitand leave no mess whatsoever. Then I'd never have to wipe again. Think of the money one would save on toilet tissue.
(
Two Hats when you were partying I studied The Blade, Tue 31 Jan 2017, 16:38,
Reply)
Play your karma right,maybe you'll get reincarnated as a dog?
(
monster munch #pissdancing, Tue 31 Jan 2017, 16:40,
Reply)
Just get one of them there techno toiletswith the windscreen wash and hot air gubbins.
A quick search shows that you can get one for less than �700
www.healthandcare.co.uk/bidets/bio-bidet-supreme-bb-1000.html?gclid=CPrC1bjp7NECFSIL0wodcK0Esg
(
garidead I'd give that 5 minutes if I were you.., Tue 31 Jan 2017, 16:40,
Reply)
:origin()/pre08/04a6/th/pre/f/2007/062/f/0/michelin_man_in_a_corset_by_epiphanicamnesia.jpg){kind=link}
an extra curvy piece of driftwood(
manolith - It must be some kind of cave bat, Tue 31 Jan 2017, 14:44,
Reply)
It was direct from the desk of The Last Threadbender alright.Dr. Strange was a lot less bent than I was expecting it to be, without actually being the opposite of bent as such, but it's the best I've got off the top of my head.
(
Graptomantic Yeti, Tue 31 Jan 2017, 14:36,
Reply)
I watched an episode of Dirk Gently yesterdayDICK BENTLY, more like
(
Grrrmachine your existence is still meaningless, Tue 31 Jan 2017, 14:38,
Reply)
I've read a couple of the Dirk Gently novels.They're quixotically good.
(
Graptomantic Yeti, Tue 31 Jan 2017, 14:44,
Reply)
I read Teatime Of The Soul.It was crap, as was the TV version with Stephen Mangan.
(
monster munch #pissdancing, Tue 31 Jan 2017, 14:49,
Reply)
I haven't seen that, so I'm just going to say "Stephen Your Nan, more like" and leave it at that.(
Graptomantic Yeti, Tue 31 Jan 2017, 14:56,
Reply)
I call him bent lee(
Windy Pig The matrix ruined the columbine look for all of us, Tue 31 Jan 2017, 15:00,
Reply)
Unbent(
Windy Pig The matrix ruined the columbine look for all of us, Tue 31 Jan 2017, 14:44,
Reply)
Dude hung around with 12 other blokes, worse sandals and threw dinner partiesI bet he did jazz hands at the end of the sermon on the mount, the fucking bender
(
Grrrmachine your existence is still meaningless, Tue 31 Jan 2017, 14:47,
Reply)
Hi Richard. You might like this. poly-graph.co/vocabulary.html
(
Barry Nyquist, Tue 31 Jan 2017, 16:16,
Reply)
I've seen that before actually(
Richard mcbeef Teh Flebel's here and he's street guff, Tue 31 Jan 2017, 17:10,
Reply)
chelsea want craig gordon? mental the guy was out of work for two years
(
$$, Tue 31 Jan 2017, 14:49,
Reply)
I CAN'T FUCKING BELIEVE THIS(
Richard mcbeef Teh Flebel's here and he's street guff, Tue 31 Jan 2017, 14:51,
Reply)
I've calmed down too(
Richard mcbeef Teh Flebel's here and he's street guff, Tue 31 Jan 2017, 15:02,
Reply)
the opposite of bent is obviously your nan(
Woodkovsky I say, old chap, Tue 31 Jan 2017, 14:49,
Reply)
Bent are an electronica act from Nottingham in England, consisting of Neil "Nail" Tolliday and Simon Mills. They gained critical acclaim from their debut album Programmed to Love in 2000.(
$$, Tue 31 Jan 2017, 14:56,
Reply)
Nottingham is in the county of Nottinghamshire, Van Halen fans(
Richard mcbeef Teh Flebel's here and he's street guff, Tue 31 Jan 2017, 15:03,
Reply)
well it's certainly not this thread(
tangledupinblue what will survive of us is guffs, Tue 31 Jan 2017, 15:30,
Reply)
You can say that again(
Two Hats when you were partying I studied The Blade, Tue 31 Jan 2017, 15:31,
Reply)
the site won't let me :((
tangledupinblue what will survive of us is guffs, Tue 31 Jan 2017, 15:35,
Reply)
If there's one thing this site will never tolerateit's repetition
(
Two Hats when you were partying I studied The Blade, Tue 31 Jan 2017, 15:36,
Reply)
or you get a bang on the head like thiswww.brillianttv.co.uk/wacaday/20years/images/bb154.jpg
(
Two Hats when you were partying I studied The Blade, Tue 31 Jan 2017, 15:39,
Reply)
or like this68.media.tumblr.com/15f2e74d30ab1db45b41232576d4e214/tumblr_mojqn0diXy1qjejgbo1_500.gif
(
Two Hats when you were partying I studied The Blade, Tue 31 Jan 2017, 15:40,
Reply)
NoIf it's not related to art, british kings or lower league football teams, he's not interested.
(
Two Hats when you were partying I studied The Blade, Tue 31 Jan 2017, 15:52,
Reply)
whack THAT!#blaaahhhh
(
Two Hats when you were partying I studied The Blade, Tue 31 Jan 2017, 16:01,
Reply)
If there's one thing this site will never tolerateit's repetition
(
Woodkovsky I say, old chap, Tue 31 Jan 2017, 15:38,
Reply)
you'd like that wouldn't you(
tangledupinblue what will survive of us is guffs, Tue 31 Jan 2017, 15:37,
Reply)
Bop It - Sexy Edition(
Richard mcbeef Teh Flebel's here and he's street guff, Tue 31 Jan 2017, 15:37,
Reply)
They're playing that Boy Meets Girl song outside my room.Sounds like they're singing:
Waiting for a star to fall
And carry your heart into my arse
That's where you belong
In my arse baby, yeah
(
2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Tue 31 Jan 2017, 15:38,
Reply)
i dunnoprobably not this though
(
manolith - It must be some kind of cave bat, Tue 31 Jan 2017, 15:43,
Reply)
You two made a nice coupleIt's a shame how it worked out
(
Two Hats when you were partying I studied The Blade, Tue 31 Jan 2017, 15:51,
Reply)
All I got was a picture of a cat in a spaceship and something about technical difficulties. (
Windy Pig The matrix ruined the columbine look for all of us, Tue 31 Jan 2017, 15:56,
Reply)
everything is a bit gaywith the possible exception of using stinging nettles to wipe your arse
(
Smash Monkey totally inappropriate for all ages, Tue 31 Jan 2017, 16:33,
Reply)
When you're on the heathaccidents happen.
(
garidead I'd give that 5 minutes if I were you.., Tue 31 Jan 2017, 16:42,
Reply)
beware the moonand stick to the roads
(
Smash Monkey totally inappropriate for all ages, Tue 31 Jan 2017, 16:43,
Reply)
really?can anyonw find a picture of trump in a swimsuit
(
Jamnog looking up to see her face, Tue 31 Jan 2017, 17:33,
Reply)
Hullo everyone, it is I, 80s pop sensation Flebbie GibsonHaha, fooled you, it was me (Richard) all along!
Are you a fucking mug? I bet you're a right fucking mug. Right now, here in this post, I am mugging you right off. You fucking mug.
Keyword: cup
(
Richard mcbeef Teh Flebel's here and he's street guff, Tue 31 Jan 2017, 12:58,
Reply)
PS I strongly suspect that you are also a fucking muppet.Hashtag just sayin.
(
Richard mcbeef Teh Flebel's here and he's street guff, Tue 31 Jan 2017, 12:59,
Reply)
The new Muppet series is a bitof a gritty reboot.
(
monster munch #pissdancing, Tue 31 Jan 2017, 13:04,
Reply)
I'll delete mine then. (
Windy Pig The matrix ruined the columbine look for all of us, Tue 31 Jan 2017, 12:59,
Reply)
It's the gentlemanly thing to do.(
Richard mcbeef Teh Flebel's here and he's street guff, Tue 31 Jan 2017, 13:00,
Reply)
Mine was going to be better than that.(
Windy Pig The matrix ruined the columbine look for all of us, Tue 31 Jan 2017, 13:24,
Reply)
Yes way.(
Windy Pig The matrix ruined the columbine look for all of us, Tue 31 Jan 2017, 13:47,
Reply)
Cup - "C U P"Err, stop watching me pee, Richard!
(
monster munch #pissdancing, Tue 31 Jan 2017, 13:00,
Reply)
Pisswatching is living well, m8(
Richard mcbeef Teh Flebel's here and he's street guff, Tue 31 Jan 2017, 13:00,
Reply)
Piss like no one's watching, that's my mottoPiss and the world pisses with you; shit, and you shit alone
(
Two Hats when you were partying I studied The Blade, Tue 31 Jan 2017, 13:02,
Reply)
choccy wings more like(
Two Hats when you were partying I studied The Blade, Tue 31 Jan 2017, 13:08,
Reply)
I bet you think I've got mug written on my fuckin forehead, don't youKeyword: Eggy
(
Two Hats when you were partying I studied The Blade, Tue 31 Jan 2017, 13:02,
Reply)
take my advice; never do your own tattoos(
Two Hats when you were partying I studied The Blade, Tue 31 Jan 2017, 13:05,
Reply)
you're the mug of muggingham palace in mugford you mugging mug mugger! lol
(
$$, Tue 31 Jan 2017, 13:04,
Reply)
lol you're mental mental chicken oriental m8(
Two Hats when you were partying I studied The Blade, Tue 31 Jan 2017, 13:04,
Reply)
Precious little in this new thread makes any sense to me at all but there you have it.Alright, the lovely Flebbie McGee.
(
Graptomantic Yeti, Tue 31 Jan 2017, 13:06,
Reply)
I work with someone named Debby McGeethere
(
Two Hats when you were partying I studied The Blade, Tue 31 Jan 2017, 13:09,
Reply)
I bet she loves jocular references to Paul Daniels.(
Graptomantic Yeti, Tue 31 Jan 2017, 13:10,
Reply)
In truth, we've never metand being american, I suspect she hasn't the foggiest who Paul Daniels is.
(
Two Hats when you were partying I studied The Blade, Tue 31 Jan 2017, 13:24,
Reply)
(
Grrrmachine your existence is still meaningless, Tue 31 Jan 2017, 13:18,
Reply)
Bought my parents some Best Grandparents mugs this weekendbut in Polish. Try saying that with your fat Kent tongues, you useless relics of a bygone era.
(
Grrrmachine your existence is still meaningless, Tue 31 Jan 2017, 13:16,
Reply)
Your dad put his fat Kent tongue in your mum's bumhole.(
Windy Pig The matrix ruined the columbine look for all of us, Tue 31 Jan 2017, 13:22,
Reply)
I have a mugwith "What part of Eyjafjallaj�kull don't you understand?" on it. It was reassuringly expensive. Like everything is fucking Iceland.
(
Two Hats when you were partying I studied The Blade, Tue 31 Jan 2017, 13:25,
Reply)
^Katona apologist(
Two Hats when you were partying I studied The Blade, Tue 31 Jan 2017, 13:27,
Reply)
I went a couple of years ago and didn't find it that bad(
Barry Nyquist, Tue 31 Jan 2017, 14:42,
Reply)
stick it up your gravesend m8(
Grrrmachine your existence is still meaningless, Tue 31 Jan 2017, 13:40,
Reply)
Mugs are for the common folk*lifts dainty porcelain teacup to pursed lips, little finger stuck out, and takes delicate sip of darjeeling*
(
garidead I'd give that 5 minutes if I were you.., Tue 31 Jan 2017, 13:24,
Reply)
Then guffs like a cavalry horse
(
garidead I'd give that 5 minutes if I were you.., Tue 31 Jan 2017, 13:25,
Reply)
"Cor! Bit more choke and that would've started!"(
Two Hats when you were partying I studied The Blade, Tue 31 Jan 2017, 13:28,
Reply)
I tried pumping the throttlebut I think I've flooded it now
(
garidead I'd give that 5 minutes if I were you.., Tue 31 Jan 2017, 13:51,
Reply)
I don't know why y'all trying to front, when you know that I'll smoke you up like a blunt (
mongychops, Tue 31 Jan 2017, 13:25,
Reply)
Stick my tip between your lips and suck?(
monster munch #pissdancing, Tue 31 Jan 2017, 13:31,
Reply)
^genuine like Gucci, raw like sushi(
Richard mcbeef Teh Flebel's here and he's street guff, Tue 31 Jan 2017, 13:42,
Reply)
He's a nasty woman.(
Windy Pig The matrix ruined the columbine look for all of us, Tue 31 Jan 2017, 13:31,
Reply)
There was a crooked Richard, and he walked a crooked mile.
He found a crooked sixpence upon a crooked stile.
He bought a crooked cat, which caught a crooked mouse,
And they all guffed together in a little crooked house.
(
monster munch #pissdancing, Tue 31 Jan 2017, 13:33,
Reply)
What the fuck are you on about?(
Windy Pig The matrix ruined the columbine look for all of us, Tue 31 Jan 2017, 13:51,
Reply)
"nasty woman" > "crooked Hillary" > "crooked Richard"(
monster munch #pissdancing, Tue 31 Jan 2017, 13:54,
Reply)
Shut up(
Windy Pig The matrix ruined the columbine look for all of us, Tue 31 Jan 2017, 14:11,
Reply)
Phil Collins original title for the songbut Philip Bailey persuaded him to go with She's An Easy Lover. I think Phil was more on the money.
(
garidead I'd give that 5 minutes if I were you.., Tue 31 Jan 2017, 13:53,
Reply)
I have a mug, and on the bottom it says "I'm a twat" So when you drink out of it, people read it and think you're a twat. It's very very lol
(
Windy Pig The matrix ruined the columbine look for all of us, Tue 31 Jan 2017, 13:49,
Reply)
b3ta.com/talk/8041599
(
tangledupinblue what will survive of us is guffs, Tue 31 Jan 2017, 13:55,
Reply)
So I'm a that and a wanker? TWANKER! portmanteau lols(
Windy Pig The matrix ruined the columbine look for all of us, Tue 31 Jan 2017, 14:12,
Reply)
if the mug fits ...(
tangledupinblue what will survive of us is guffs, Tue 31 Jan 2017, 14:14,
Reply)
(
Two Hats when you were partying I studied The Blade, Tue 31 Jan 2017, 14:06,
Reply)
More like Flebbie Mcgee, you fackin PRICKGet fucked.
Not really.
Wuv yoo
(
GeordieJay Streetlife., Tue 31 Jan 2017, 14:10,
Reply)
I ent scrolling through all that shit, before hastily typing a response.hth xx
(
GeordieJay Streetlife., Tue 31 Jan 2017, 14:22,
Reply)
Someone bought me and the other half a groupon spa treatment voucherI don't like massages, I don't like saunas and steam rooms and that kind of "pampering" really pisses me off. But it clearly cost a lot of money so we're having to grit our teeth and try and book a session, may even have to take a day annual leave to go.
What shitty annoying present have you had that you don't want and has actually caused you real problems?
(
garidead I'd give that 5 minutes if I were you.., Tue 31 Jan 2017, 10:27,
Reply)
Don't think he'll like being called "The Other", m8and what good is half a voucher?
(
Two Hats when you were partying I studied The Blade, Tue 31 Jan 2017, 10:29,
Reply)
didyouseewhatididthere?(
Two Hats when you were partying I studied The Blade, Tue 31 Jan 2017, 10:29,
Reply)
It's like Tomb RaiderYou have to put your half together with the other half then you get a facial
(
garidead I'd give that 5 minutes if I were you.., Tue 31 Jan 2017, 10:32,
Reply)
(
manolith - It must be some kind of cave bat, Tue 31 Jan 2017, 10:32,
Reply)
nnneeeeEEEEEERRRRrrrrrddddd(
Two Hats when you were partying I studied The Blade, Tue 31 Jan 2017, 10:33,
Reply)
i did spend longer than was necessary trying to manoeuvre ms croft into a position where i could better see her polygonal jubblies, it's true(
manolith - It must be some kind of cave bat, Tue 31 Jan 2017, 10:41,
Reply)
The most fun I had with that game was drowning her in her own pool.(
monster munch #pissdancing, Tue 31 Jan 2017, 11:08,
Reply)
This may just be the meanest you've ever been to me, manolith.(
monster munch #pissdancing, Tue 31 Jan 2017, 11:24,
Reply)
thanks, i appreciate the feedback(
manolith - It must be some kind of cave bat, Tue 31 Jan 2017, 11:31,
Reply)
I'll ask Rob if I can sit in on your appraisal.(
monster munch #pissdancing, Tue 31 Jan 2017, 11:33,
Reply)
(
Two Hats when you were partying I studied The Blade, Tue 31 Jan 2017, 11:34,
Reply)
I'd settle for a cushion stuffed with freshly shorn wookie hair.(
monster munch #pissdancing, Tue 31 Jan 2017, 11:36,
Reply)
flowerswaste of fucking time. Don't send them and if you receive them, bin 'em.
(
$$, Tue 31 Jan 2017, 10:32,
Reply)
better to burn 'em, that way there's less chance any more will grow(
manolith - It must be some kind of cave bat, Tue 31 Jan 2017, 10:33,
Reply)
Now I like recieving flowersBent? Perhaps. But they brighten the place up for a little while. My auntie sent me a bouquet when my dad died, which was a very nice gesture.
(
Two Hats when you were partying I studied The Blade, Tue 31 Jan 2017, 10:34,
Reply)
frinkiac.com/gif/S05E18/749664/753001.gif?b64lines=T0gsIEdPIEVBVApTT01FIEZMT1dFUlMh
(
manolith - It must be some kind of cave bat, Tue 31 Jan 2017, 10:38,
Reply)
my secret shame!(
Two Hats when you were partying I studied The Blade, Tue 31 Jan 2017, 11:14,
Reply)
You can send me courgette flowers any day.Batter those bad boys and fry them; farking lovely.
(
Graptomantic Yeti, Tue 31 Jan 2017, 10:35,
Reply)
That's good to know.They're a lot easier to find than courgettes outside the supermarket.
(
Graptomantic Yeti, Tue 31 Jan 2017, 10:42,
Reply)
Spent an afternoon foraging, on one of our camping trips.Garlic mustard is abundant and tasty, and nettles are surprisingly good (had them as a tea and a pesto). Our guide had brought a couple of pigeons for us to cook, but they were full of maggots.
(
monster munch #pissdancing, Tue 31 Jan 2017, 10:59,
Reply)
I ate at a restaurant in the Vosges oncewhose menu was constructed entirely around nettles. Starter, main course and pudding all had nettles as the main ingredient. Pretty good, all told.
(
Graptomantic Yeti, Tue 31 Jan 2017, 11:12,
Reply)
I was a bit gutted to find out that they were such good eating,as I'd drowned the massive crop in my back garden with glyphosate, mere weeks earlier.
They are a bugger to harvest, though.
(
monster munch #pissdancing, Tue 31 Jan 2017, 11:17,
Reply)
My missus dislikes receiving flowers, as having to find a vase, then trim, arrange and water them is less a thoughtful gift, and more an imposition on her time.
I still buy them for her, occasionally, on the understanding that I'll be the one to deal with them, and she just gets to enjoy them.
(
monster munch #pissdancing, Tue 31 Jan 2017, 10:38,
Reply)
A friend once bought me an ornament with a poem about friendship on itAnd ok, it was a very sweet gesture, but it's not the sort of thing I would ever have in my house, and being such good friends, you would've thought she'd know this. Also, it was about a tenner, which is too much to spend on something so shit. She would've been better off getting me a four pack and keeping the change for herself.
(
Two Hats when you were partying I studied The Blade, Tue 31 Jan 2017, 10:32,
Reply)
Now you see, that I would've liked(
Two Hats when you were partying I studied The Blade, Tue 31 Jan 2017, 11:15,
Reply)
well that's next christmas sorted then(
manolith - It must be some kind of cave bat, Tue 31 Jan 2017, 11:22,
Reply)
You know meI always prefer something home made
(
Two Hats when you were partying I studied The Blade, Tue 31 Jan 2017, 11:24,
Reply)
Spoilt for choice:www.etsy.com/uk/market/coprolite
(
monster munch #pissdancing, Tue 31 Jan 2017, 11:25,
Reply)
who knew that poo could be so expensive?I'm sitting on a gold mine here
(
tangledupinblue what will survive of us is guffs, Tue 31 Jan 2017, 11:32,
Reply)
I am a little older than Two Hats, it's true(
tangledupinblue what will survive of us is guffs, Tue 31 Jan 2017, 11:54,
Reply)
sell it, as a grown up if i don't want to do something i politely say no thanks i'm not doing that(
mongychops, Tue 31 Jan 2017, 10:32,
Reply)
You're clearly just a pretend gay if you don't like saunas.I was gifted a box of African ingredients and condiments by a couple of friends, complete with recipe, thus making me feel kind of obliged to engage in exotic and technically demanding cookery and invite them round for dinner to be subjected to my beginner's efforts. I've been quietly ignoring the issue so far and I think it's working.
(
Graptomantic Yeti, Tue 31 Jan 2017, 10:34,
Reply)
after all, 'sauna' is an anagram of 'a anus'(
manolith - It must be some kind of cave bat, Tue 31 Jan 2017, 10:47,
Reply)
Oh, I do like "saunas"but not for the health-spa aspects, IYKWIM
(
garidead I'd give that 5 minutes if I were you.., Tue 31 Jan 2017, 11:00,
Reply)
Oh man, imagine the stink of you sprayed a bumful of colonic water into the coals. (
Barry Nyquist, Tue 31 Jan 2017, 12:37,
Reply)
Would it sizzle?Or sort of bubble and squelch?
(
garidead I'd give that 5 minutes if I were you.., Tue 31 Jan 2017, 15:37,
Reply)
My mother has a habit of buying the kids a ton of cheap tat for birthdays/Christmas,but we're gradually getting her out of that habit.
Had my first ever spa visit, last year - bloody lovely.
(
monster munch #pissdancing, Tue 31 Jan 2017, 10:35,
Reply)
You never know, you may enjoy it!Have a float about in the pool and sit on a sunbed or something.
Get a mud bath?
I dunno.
(
GeordieJay Streetlife., Tue 31 Jan 2017, 11:01,
Reply)
Im not really one for cards...Waste of trees.
(
GeordieJay Streetlife., Tue 31 Jan 2017, 11:02,
Reply)
25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_mbwlysikwc1qg8vkwo1_500.gif
(
manolith - It must be some kind of cave bat, Tue 31 Jan 2017, 11:02,
Reply)
that was just for you, really(
manolith - It must be some kind of cave bat, Tue 31 Jan 2017, 11:15,
Reply)
Also, aint there some sort of site that you can sell vouchers now?(
GeordieJay Streetlife., Tue 31 Jan 2017, 11:03,
Reply)
www.zeek.me/sell-gift-cards/
(
Richard mcbeef Teh Flebel's here and he's street guff, Tue 31 Jan 2017, 11:03,
Reply)
"I sell many Amazon vouchers. I'm a professional gamer and current UK #1 PES player, and I win a lot of vouchers. I'd recommend this service to anyone looking at selling their vouchers."
(
$$, Tue 31 Jan 2017, 11:07,
Reply)
Premier Equine Spunk? (
Windy Pig The matrix ruined the columbine look for all of us, Tue 31 Jan 2017, 11:14,
Reply)
Do they have a birthday before the voucher expires?If so re-gift it to them. Better yet re-gift the expired vouchers.
(, Tue 31 Jan 2017, 11:08, Reply)
I like a spa day. I'll go in your place. (
Windy Pig The matrix ruined the columbine look for all of us, Tue 31 Jan 2017, 11:09,
Reply)
I'll go in your placeghetti, if you're not careful.(
monster munch #pissdancing, Tue 31 Jan 2017, 11:21,
Reply)
I don't think it'd FITtuccine(
Two Hats when you were partying I studied The Blade, Tue 31 Jan 2017, 11:24,
Reply)
TagliaTell me about it(
garidead I'd give that 5 minutes if I were you.., Tue 31 Jan 2017, 11:55,
Reply)
+g +y+zzes
(
tangledupinblue what will survive of us is guffs, Tue 31 Jan 2017, 11:31,
Reply)
I only ever get presents that I like(
tangledupinblue what will survive of us is guffs, Tue 31 Jan 2017, 11:29,
Reply)
because the only person who buys you anything is you?(
manolith - It must be some kind of cave bat, Tue 31 Jan 2017, 11:43,
Reply)
i'd love a nap, actually(
manolith - It must be some kind of cave bat, Tue 31 Jan 2017, 12:09,
Reply)
(
garidead I'd give that 5 minutes if I were you.., Tue 31 Jan 2017, 12:11,
Reply)
I'm running out of storage space thanks to the kind but utterly useless presents some elderly family friends keep sending me.Recent gifts include a set of original concorde crockery and large numbers of ugly and dangerous baby toys.
(
2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Tue 31 Jan 2017, 12:30,
Reply)
The crockery might have some resale value,the rest you should probably bin.
(
monster munch #pissdancing, Tue 31 Jan 2017, 12:33,
Reply)
Is this partly your fault for having such ugly and dangerous babies?(
Mr. Tea It's Okay! She's My Step Daughter!, Tue 31 Jan 2017, 13:03,
Reply)
alright Richsay something positive
(
Grrrmachine your existence is still meaningless, Tue 31 Jan 2017, 7:18,
Reply)
I've got nothing(
Richard mcbeef Teh Flebel's here and he's street guff, Tue 31 Jan 2017, 7:53,
Reply)
might as well just kill yourself(
Grrrmachine your existence is still meaningless, Tue 31 Jan 2017, 7:55,
Reply)
Hello here Mr wankhouse(
Windy Pig The matrix ruined the columbine look for all of us, Tue 31 Jan 2017, 7:46,
Reply)
With Fap Shart and the twins?(
Grrrmachine your existence is still meaningless, Tue 31 Jan 2017, 7:50,
Reply)
Tuehizzday.Time to fire up the French press again.
(
Graptomantic Yeti, Tue 31 Jan 2017, 8:13,
Reply)
what makes it French?Can't you just call it a coffee press?
(
Grrrmachine your existence is still meaningless, Tue 31 Jan 2017, 8:14,
Reply)
Dunno why they call it that, to be honest.Someone decided at some point in time that the French press was the one with the plunger and the Italian pot was the one that came in two screw-together halves and went on the hob.
(
Graptomantic Yeti, Tue 31 Jan 2017, 8:16,
Reply)
Fuck all that mate, get a proper coffee maker.What's with all the bent manual push plungers, do you have a mangle, too? Get out of the stone age m8
(
Kroney, Tue 31 Jan 2017, 8:19,
Reply)
This is one of the areas in which I quite like being old-skool.No faffing about with tamping and steam pressure and all that. My Italian pot makes something not dissimilar to espresso (much less foam, granted, but still) and my morning ritual involves a half-litre mug of coffeem, and making that kind of quantity in a machine is impractical and bad for teh heart.
(
Graptomantic Yeti, Tue 31 Jan 2017, 8:26,
Reply)
Good Lord, not an espresso machine.Do you also go in for hair oil, sexism and cowardice? A coffee machine, man.
(
Kroney, Tue 31 Jan 2017, 8:31,
Reply)
I just dump coffee grounds in a mug and add hot waterIf you're dicking around with some sort of machine, you might as well shove a Chippendale's cock up your arse to start the day, you bender.
(
Grrrmachine your existence is still meaningless, Tue 31 Jan 2017, 8:35,
Reply)
I hope it's freeze dried, otherwise you might as well put on a pair of panties and start singing show tunes.(
Kroney, Tue 31 Jan 2017, 8:37,
Reply)
I'm not gonna bite vladimir's style(
Grrrmachine your existence is still meaningless, Tue 31 Jan 2017, 8:38,
Reply)
hahahahahahahahahaimagine my joy on finding this whilst perusing all the exciting japes on the popular page :-D
(
vladimir whitcomb is betwixt, Tue 31 Jan 2017, 22:35,
Reply)
You'll have to enlighten me, here.The only coffe machines I know that aren't espresso machines take capsules.
(
Graptomantic Yeti, Tue 31 Jan 2017, 8:37,
Reply)
Hot water, a few cups of ground coffee on top of a filter, press the "go" button.It's the only acceptable way to make coffee of any sort. If it in any way steams milk, you'd just as well put on a cardigan, grow your beard and get really into *insert name of obscure artist's discography released prior to achieving mediocrity*
(
Kroney, Tue 31 Jan 2017, 8:40,
Reply)
Oh yeah, one of those jobbies.I don't want a paper filter, though - it removes some of those lovely bitter and caffeine-laden oils.
(
Graptomantic Yeti, Tue 31 Jan 2017, 8:43,
Reply)
A percolator (filter coffee, as the cafés sell it).Or, make "prk prk" noises while your boiling the kettle for your nescafe.
(
monster munch #pissdancing, Tue 31 Jan 2017, 8:46,
Reply)
I'd honestly rather have a cup of black filter coffeethan anything else. Unless Starbucks has one of those seasonal jobbies with the shitload of flavoured syrup. I'm on those like crabs on a skank.
(
Kroney, Tue 31 Jan 2017, 8:48,
Reply)
what's wrong with a nice pot of tea, you ghastly foreigner?(
tangledupinblue what will survive of us is guffs, Tue 31 Jan 2017, 8:51,
Reply)
You don't get good tea in most cafés - they take water from a boiler, rather than boiling it fresh.Bad coffee is almost always preferable to bad tea.
(
monster munch #pissdancing, Tue 31 Jan 2017, 9:08,
Reply)
Café filter coffee often isn't all that different to their Americano, and usually a good few pennies cheaper, so it does me.My filter machine lives on a high shelf, and it's usually easier to get the moka pot on, at home (french press is easier still, but they keep on getting smashed). The pot makes nicer coffee, too.
(
monster munch #pissdancing, Tue 31 Jan 2017, 8:52,
Reply)
It is a high shelf.Maybe not if you're a Harlem Globetrotter.
(
monster munch #pissdancing, Tue 31 Jan 2017, 9:11,
Reply)
One of those crappy percolator things?(
fuscous could have glid before, Tue 31 Jan 2017, 8:39,
Reply)
By "crappy", I'm assuming you mean "manly in a way only 20 quid spent at Curry's can achieve".(
Kroney, Tue 31 Jan 2017, 8:41,
Reply)
I meant crappy as after they've been keeping coffee warm for half an hourit tastes like rubber
(
fuscous could have glid before, Tue 31 Jan 2017, 8:44,
Reply)
You mean you don't like your coffee to taste like burnt tyres?WHAT A WOOFTER
(
Kroney, Tue 31 Jan 2017, 8:45,
Reply)
It's the circle of life(
Richard mcbeef Teh Flebel's here and he's street guff, Tue 31 Jan 2017, 9:01,
Reply)
I thought the Italian one was TurkishImmma believe it's called a French press because it offers very little resistance when subjected to a superior force.
(
Grrrmachine your existence is still meaningless, Tue 31 Jan 2017, 8:19,
Reply)
I believe the Italian one (mokka pot) is quite different to Turkish,as Turkish coffee is reduced down to a fairly thick consistency. Could be wrong, though, as I've never had Turkish coffee.
(
monster munch #pissdancing, Tue 31 Jan 2017, 8:27,
Reply)
Turkish and Greek coffee are pretty thick and pasty.You get a good teaspoon's worth of grounds in the bottom of the cup as a matter of course. They also tend to look at you strangely if you don't sweeten the bejeezus out of it, which is not my thing either.
(
Graptomantic Yeti, Tue 31 Jan 2017, 8:28,
Reply)
You have the right of itTurkish coffee is heated in a small pot and comes out as a really thick shot.
(
H.B.Mupps, Tue 31 Jan 2017, 8:33,
Reply)
I've never really wanted to be able to chew coffee.(
monster munch #pissdancing, Tue 31 Jan 2017, 8:49,
Reply)
Yeah, whatevs.Mine comes from M&S; and makes lovely coffee.
(
monster munch #pissdancing, Tue 31 Jan 2017, 8:47,
Reply)
'French Press' is what septics call it because they can't spell cafetière. (
Barry Nyquist, Tue 31 Jan 2017, 9:19,
Reply)
I was told recently that the only way to drink coffee is air pressed with no milk.Apparently putting milk in coffee marks me out as a wanker.
(
Windy Pig The matrix ruined the columbine look for all of us, Tue 31 Jan 2017, 10:21,
Reply)
that's not the only thing marking you out so don't sweat it (
mongychops, Tue 31 Jan 2017, 10:26,
Reply)
monster morning.Spent my birthday money, then bought the boy some spares for his rc copter - on their way from Hong Kong, so they ought to get here in time for Easter.
(
monster munch #pissdancing, Tue 31 Jan 2017, 8:28,
Reply)
I find buying Chinese stuff hit and miss these daysHalf my stuff never turned up, and of the half that did, half of those were the wrong thing.
(
Grrrmachine your existence is still meaningless, Tue 31 Jan 2017, 8:36,
Reply)
I've been okay, thus far.Still, fingers crossed.
(
monster munch #pissdancing, Tue 31 Jan 2017, 8:48,
Reply)
I'm celebrating with two ninths of a cup of coffee.(
drimble nihilistic whimsy, Tue 31 Jan 2017, 8:34,
Reply)
I'll never recognise Nauru(
Grrrmachine your existence is still meaningless, Tue 31 Jan 2017, 8:36,
Reply)
I've walked past Nauru so many timeand only a few paces later gone "oh fuck, that was Nauru, is it too late to shout hello back, that would be rude, now I'm definitely too far away, did Nauru recognise me?"
(
garidead I'd give that 5 minutes if I were you.., Tue 31 Jan 2017, 8:58,
Reply)
This is the best day.(
Windy Pig The matrix ruined the columbine look for all of us, Tue 31 Jan 2017, 8:38,
Reply)
I know someone who's been there.I've only been "comparatively close" to Nauru :(
(
Woodkovsky I say, old chap, Tue 31 Jan 2017, 8:56,
Reply)
peace to all my mad real Nauru niggaz in the pen(
Richard mcbeef Teh Flebel's here and he's street guff, Tue 31 Jan 2017, 9:02,
Reply)
Life is unfairKill yourself or get over it
(
garidead I'd give that 5 minutes if I were you.., Tue 31 Jan 2017, 8:43,
Reply)
I'm over it m8, so over it, don't mean nothing to me any more(
Grrrmachine your existence is still meaningless, Tue 31 Jan 2017, 9:06,
Reply)
OooooooooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhVienna!
(
garidead I'd give that 5 minutes if I were you.., Tue 31 Jan 2017, 9:15,
Reply)
January brings the snowmakes our feet and fingers glow
February brings the rain
thaws the frozen lake again
(
tangledupinblue what will survive of us is guffs, Tue 31 Jan 2017, 8:51,
Reply)
good old trans sexual Eliot(
Richard mcbeef Teh Flebel's here and he's street guff, Tue 31 Jan 2017, 9:03,
Reply)
Soon be March, lambs and hares,men in ladies underwears
(
drimble nihilistic whimsy, Tue 31 Jan 2017, 8:59,
Reply)
Then April's showers, joy and flowersNights of bumming with Dane Bowers
(
Richard mcbeef Teh Flebel's here and he's street guff, Tue 31 Jan 2017, 9:04,
Reply)
And then, hey! The month of may!Jesus christ how fucking gay
(
Richard mcbeef Teh Flebel's here and he's street guff, Tue 31 Jan 2017, 9:05,
Reply)
Sat askance over the seasons' wheel, gyratingBuffeted by breeze, soft the hare's first fluffs,
As a mummy bound in wool, the toddy macerating
Its steam woven breathily through the evening's guffs.
(
Graptomantic Yeti, Tue 31 Jan 2017, 9:11,
Reply)
February is like the coldest month m8, what you wrote blates aint true(
Grrrmachine your existence is still meaningless, Tue 31 Jan 2017, 9:07,
Reply)
you can't argue with tradition m8(
tangledupinblue what will survive of us is guffs, Tue 31 Jan 2017, 9:12,
Reply)
you can't argue with the Met Office "m8"(
Grrrmachine your existence is still meaningless, Tue 31 Jan 2017, 9:35,
Reply)
check out broadsword over here with his "alright"(
Grrrmachine your existence is still meaningless, Tue 31 Jan 2017, 9:07,
Reply)
giving it the fucking large one(
Richard mcbeef Teh Flebel's here and he's street guff, Tue 31 Jan 2017, 9:09,
Reply)
2Hazz, in the hizz!Or whatever the prevailing slang is at the present time.
(
monster munch #pissdancing, Tue 31 Jan 2017, 9:27,
Reply)
I'm pretty sure it's something like thatgood morning Ems
(
Two Hats when you were partying I studied The Blade, Tue 31 Jan 2017, 9:28,
Reply)
welcome Sir Two of Hats(
Grrrmachine your existence is still meaningless, Tue 31 Jan 2017, 9:34,
Reply)
*drops handkerchief*(
Grrrmachine your existence is still meaningless, Tue 31 Jan 2017, 9:38,
Reply)
*clop clop*
*clop clop*
(
garidead I'd give that 5 minutes if I were you.., Tue 31 Jan 2017, 9:45,
Reply)
gadzooks, 'tis the Duke of Godby(
Two Hats when you were partying I studied The Blade, Tue 31 Jan 2017, 9:36,
Reply)
68.media.tumblr.com/fa833c8347b368dc1d59fb6103b6959d/tumblr_oklz03pAUT1qz6f9yo1_500.gif
(
$$, Tue 31 Jan 2017, 10:03,
Reply)
I had a polyp like that once.(
Windy Pig The matrix ruined the columbine look for all of us, Tue 31 Jan 2017, 10:17,
Reply)
(
Two Hats when you were partying I studied The Blade, Tue 31 Jan 2017, 10:19,
Reply)
Do you think I should post my opinion in coffee chat?(
Windy Pig The matrix ruined the columbine look for all of us, Tue 31 Jan 2017, 10:20,
Reply)
I've just posted an anecdote instead. I don't think I can handle the pressure of being judged by my peers.(
Windy Pig The matrix ruined the columbine look for all of us, Tue 31 Jan 2017, 10:22,
Reply)
I mostly drink douwe egberts instant, because I like itI occasionally make a stove top one, but not often. There.
(
Two Hats when you were partying I studied The Blade, Tue 31 Jan 2017, 10:23,
Reply)
i get whatever premium instant is on special in the coop(
mongychops, Tue 31 Jan 2017, 10:25,
Reply)
There we aresubject closed
(
Two Hats when you were partying I studied The Blade, Tue 31 Jan 2017, 10:27,
Reply)
If it differs from mine, it's overOVER!
(
Two Hats when you were partying I studied The Blade, Tue 31 Jan 2017, 10:22,
Reply)
Flat white with a shot of vanilla and chocolate sprinkles. Cold. Through a straw.(
Windy Pig The matrix ruined the columbine look for all of us, Tue 31 Jan 2017, 10:22,
Reply)
milk, no sugar, hot, chuck it in my gobTime is money. NEXT.
(
Two Hats when you were partying I studied The Blade, Tue 31 Jan 2017, 10:25,
Reply)
You seem to have confused coffee with milkshake m8.(
Graptomantic Yeti, Tue 31 Jan 2017, 10:27,
Reply)
take it up with costa(
Two Hats when you were partying I studied The Blade, Tue 31 Jan 2017, 10:29,
Reply)
people in the comments section are angry www.newsshopper.co.uk/news/15057346.Couple_order_bag_of_Brussels_sprouts_from_Sainsbury_s___and_it_goes_hilariously_wrong/
(
mongychops, Tue 31 Jan 2017, 10:24,
Reply)
Wowdefinitely a story worthy of going to the newspaper with. This happened to my sister, who accidentally ordered a single apple, rather than a bag. Needless to say, she did not feel compelled to approach the media.
(
Two Hats when you were partying I studied The Blade, Tue 31 Jan 2017, 10:28,
Reply)
the staff clearly have no common sense, who orders one apple, clearly she wanted a crate (
mongychops, Tue 31 Jan 2017, 10:30,
Reply)
So is anyone having anything really nice for dinner?or is it just beans on toast like me?
(
planearm, Mon 30 Jan 2017, 17:18,
Reply)
I'm making asian chicken broth, kind of like pho, with gyoza to startAll being well it should be really nice.
(
Richard mcbeef Teh Flebel's here and he's street guff, Mon 30 Jan 2017, 17:21,
Reply)
+to an
+el
+n
(
Mr. Tea It's Okay! She's My Step Daughter!, Mon 30 Jan 2017, 22:01,
Reply)
Gutted I couldn't find some way of using '(p)ho', but there you go.(
Mr. Tea It's Okay! She's My Step Daughter!, Mon 30 Jan 2017, 23:15,
Reply)
I can't see my managing a dry week again this weekThe venue where our wedding party is fucked up on Thursday and didn't show up for a meeting, and to say sorry they've booked us a complimentary meal, so I plan to milk the fuck out of that tomorrow.
(
Richard mcbeef Teh Flebel's here and he's street guff, Mon 30 Jan 2017, 17:48,
Reply)
gently suggest that champagne would be a nice way to say sorry(
Smash Monkey totally inappropriate for all ages, Mon 30 Jan 2017, 17:49,
Reply)
I always have a least four double cognacs with my cheese courseIt's a little rule I have
(
Richard mcbeef Teh Flebel's here and he's street guff, Mon 30 Jan 2017, 17:50,
Reply)
and obviously, each course should come with the correct wines to compliment it(
Smash Monkey totally inappropriate for all ages, Mon 30 Jan 2017, 17:52,
Reply)
Imma bankrupt dem bitches(
Richard mcbeef Teh Flebel's here and he's street guff, Mon 30 Jan 2017, 17:50,
Reply)
I'm sure that wont be reflected on the bill for your nuptials(
mongychops, Mon 30 Jan 2017, 17:55,
Reply)
Prices already agreed, woo(
Richard mcbeef Teh Flebel's here and he's street guff, Mon 30 Jan 2017, 19:44,
Reply)
Shit noLovely chap, but not family friendly
(
Richard mcbeef Teh Flebel's here and he's street guff, Mon 30 Jan 2017, 20:39,
Reply)
The hotel I'm at does unlimited breakfast. I'm going full Partridge on it i reckon. (
Barry Nyquist, Mon 30 Jan 2017, 20:17,
Reply)
#robotfromthefuture(
Richard mcbeef Teh Flebel's here and he's street guff, Mon 30 Jan 2017, 22:01,
Reply)
rice vermicelli noodleswith mushrooms, onions, peppers and bamboo shoots in hoi sin sauce
(
Smash Monkey totally inappropriate for all ages, Mon 30 Jan 2017, 17:24,
Reply)
had chicken for lunchso need to have a veggie evening meal or i will suffer for it.
i always have stuff like this in, it's really tasty and takes a few minutes to cook
(
Smash Monkey totally inappropriate for all ages, Mon 30 Jan 2017, 17:48,
Reply)
Tesco pizza because I can't afford a divorce(
2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Mon 30 Jan 2017, 17:41,
Reply)
Yeah might save up for a bit and then treat myself in my 40s(
2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Mon 30 Jan 2017, 18:19,
Reply)
Tesco frozen meat 'feast'(
2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Mon 30 Jan 2017, 18:18,
Reply)
Do you not have to pay child support if you flee the country?(
2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Mon 30 Jan 2017, 19:00,
Reply)
You do, and to quote the current grrrmachine figures it's a zillion (
mongychops, Mon 30 Jan 2017, 19:08,
Reply)
He did a good job providing attendance figures for the Trump inauguration, 45 billion apparently (
Richard mcbeef Teh Flebel's here and he's street guff, Mon 30 Jan 2017, 19:50,
Reply)
not if they can't find you some squaddie did it to a bird my brother knows
(
$$, Mon 30 Jan 2017, 19:23,
Reply)
My mate kelly s ex used to back charge what their kids ate on his weekends , my mate gypo and I have just fallen out over such shit , oh I bought him 90 quid nikes, I'm knocking that off, twat (
mongychops, Mon 30 Jan 2017, 19:33,
Reply)
Sounds well jew(
Richard mcbeef Teh Flebel's here and he's street guff, Mon 30 Jan 2017, 19:45,
Reply)
Oh her ex is, surprised at gypo tho, but that's a V long dull story in full (
mongychops, Mon 30 Jan 2017, 19:57,
Reply)
Keyword: gyppo(
Richard mcbeef Teh Flebel's here and he's street guff, Mon 30 Jan 2017, 20:52,
Reply)
For full bleakness you need to serve it on a plate fashioned by cutting the box on and turning it inside out. I've totally never done this on Mondays when I'm still hungover, oh no.
(
Barry Nyquist, Mon 30 Jan 2017, 20:56,
Reply)
Thanks for asking planearm, I may have some foooOOod, washed down with a drink.Cheers
(
broadsword, Mon 30 Jan 2017, 17:44,
Reply)
Just had a bloody lovely lasagna, if I do say so myself(
Two Hats when you were partying I studied The Blade, Mon 30 Jan 2017, 17:45,
Reply)
Hahaha well it is Monday after all(
Two Hats when you were partying I studied The Blade, Mon 30 Jan 2017, 18:00,
Reply)
This is a reference to the cartoon cat Garfield, I get this!(
Richard mcbeef Teh Flebel's here and he's street guff, Mon 30 Jan 2017, 19:46,
Reply)
Bet you had a whole garlic bread french stick to yourself!(
planearm, Mon 30 Jan 2017, 17:47,
Reply)
Not cooked it yet, Im still at work.No garlic bread with chilli though...
(
GeordieJay Streetlife., Mon 30 Jan 2017, 17:54,
Reply)
Had some chicken breasts that needed cooking so I'm doing a madrasAlthough a preliminary beans on toast wouldn't go amiss
(
H.B.Mupps, Mon 30 Jan 2017, 20:12,
Reply)
Ahh the old 'I need to eat something to give me the energy to cook my tea. How well I know thee. (
Barry Nyquist, Mon 30 Jan 2017, 20:57,
Reply)
Everyone in this hotel bar appears to be a brummie or a scot As a brummie who lives in Scotland this has left me with mixed feelings.
(
Barry Nyquist, Mon 30 Jan 2017, 20:20,
Reply)
The missus did me some big fat burgers, with fried onions and such like.Proper lovely, and now I've broken my prohibition on school night drinking, by getting in to the bottle of single malt that my in-laws have bestowed upon me.
Good times.
(
monster munch #pissdancing, Mon 30 Jan 2017, 22:41,
Reply)
Can I get on the popular page please?(
Richard mcbeef Teh Flebel's here and he's street guff, Mon 30 Jan 2017, 17:17,
Reply)
oh go on m8, please(
Richard mcbeef Teh Flebel's here and he's street guff, Mon 30 Jan 2017, 17:22,
Reply)
I'll click.(
Windy Pig The matrix ruined the columbine look for all of us, Mon 30 Jan 2017, 17:27,
Reply)
sure, I've clicked all your posts(
2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Mon 30 Jan 2017, 19:01,
Reply)
Oh man, I just clicked that I liked your flaccid winkle. Thanks a bunch for sending me gay :((
2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Mon 30 Jan 2017, 19:03,
Reply)
hey I didn't realise you could get on the popular page just by askingwhat didn't you realise you could do just by asking?
(
tangledupinblue what will survive of us is guffs, Mon 30 Jan 2017, 15:17,
Reply)
ok, but please wipe properly first(
tangledupinblue what will survive of us is guffs, Mon 30 Jan 2017, 15:25,
Reply)
don't try to change me, baby🚼
(
Two Hats when you were partying I studied The Blade, Mon 30 Jan 2017, 15:27,
Reply)
hey owTstaHwhere are these babies for?
(
Woodkovsky I say, old chap, Mon 30 Jan 2017, 16:56,
Reply)
Wherever they are needed, Woodkovsky(
Two Hats when you were partying I studied The Blade, Mon 30 Jan 2017, 16:58,
Reply)
Konichiwarsetomouth(
Two Hats when you were partying I studied The Blade, Mon 30 Jan 2017, 15:20,
Reply)
I didn't realise we were allowed to start threads this shit(
Windy Pig The matrix ruined the columbine look for all of us, Mon 30 Jan 2017, 15:20,
Reply)
ok, I'm reporting this(
Two Hats when you were partying I studied The Blade, Mon 30 Jan 2017, 15:21,
Reply)
he's gone too far this time(
tangledupinblue what will survive of us is guffs, Mon 30 Jan 2017, 15:24,
Reply)
I can do way worse. (
Windy Pig The matrix ruined the columbine look for all of us, Mon 30 Jan 2017, 15:28,
Reply)
ok, I'm reporting this too(
tangledupinblue what will survive of us is guffs, Mon 30 Jan 2017, 15:29,
Reply)
I prefer Taylor Swift to Taylor and crow(
Windy Pig The matrix ruined the columbine look for all of us, Mon 30 Jan 2017, 15:37,
Reply)
well I know whose arse I'd rather eat off ofI'll just leave it at that
(
Two Hats when you were partying I studied The Blade, Mon 30 Jan 2017, 15:42,
Reply)
each to his own(
Two Hats when you were partying I studied The Blade, Mon 30 Jan 2017, 15:43,
Reply)
Mind you, eating spag bol off of an arse would be trickynot to mention soup
(
Two Hats when you were partying I studied The Blade, Mon 30 Jan 2017, 15:43,
Reply)
you're damn right I would(
Two Hats when you were partying I studied The Blade, Mon 30 Jan 2017, 15:50,
Reply)
i saw a video where they filled a girls gappaing anus with milk and cheerios and ate from her bumhole, i'll see if i can find it to give you a hand (
mongychops, Mon 30 Jan 2017, 15:48,
Reply)
Yeah, I've seen thatvery informative
(
Two Hats when you were partying I studied The Blade, Mon 30 Jan 2017, 15:50,
Reply)
perhaps have the soup a bit cool, you'll be fine as will your boyfriends bum (
mongychops, Mon 30 Jan 2017, 15:51,
Reply)
Fuckin' grass to booten.wikipedia.org/wiki/H%C3%A9lmer_Herrera#Law_enforcement_actions
(, Mon 30 Jan 2017, 16:03, Reply)
I am at once revolted, and horrified.Bet it cuts down on the washing up, though.
(
monster munch #pissdancing, Mon 30 Jan 2017, 17:03,
Reply)
Please go easy on the misogynistic "i would" type posts.(
Windy Pig The matrix ruined the columbine look for all of us, Mon 30 Jan 2017, 15:46,
Reply)
why can't they just take the compliment, eh?(
Two Hats when you were partying I studied The Blade, Mon 30 Jan 2017, 15:50,
Reply)
cept the lesbinimsthey hate it
(
Two Hats when you were partying I studied The Blade, Mon 30 Jan 2017, 16:37,
Reply)
Finding the way to San Joseand Amarillo. I had to do it song though...
(
garidead I'd give that 5 minutes if I were you.., Mon 30 Jan 2017, 16:46,
Reply)
I had to do it song are we led it off the road(
Two Hats when you were partying I studied The Blade, Mon 30 Jan 2017, 16:47,
Reply)
Apologiesthere was a vital preposition missing in my post
(
garidead I'd give that 5 minutes if I were you.., Mon 30 Jan 2017, 16:56,
Reply)
get people to fuck off(
Smash Monkey totally inappropriate for all ages, Mon 30 Jan 2017, 17:08,
Reply)
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