A lot of people love to fantasy book. I do to. But, I like to think
of odd what ifs. So that’s what we have here today with our first
edition of where from the recesses of my mind I give a match that could
have happened, but for whatever reason didn’t. For this first edition we
take you back to that magical year of 1997. The N.W.O. is a year into
their reign of terror. Its New World Order this…New World Order that.
One place you would see really random matches would be on WCW Worldwide
or Saturday Night. Randy Savage worked a lot of these Worldwide and
Saturday Night shows and gave us matches that would have been great main
events on house shows or even decent midcard matches on Nitro. One such
match was N.W.O. Macho Man vs. Beautiful Bobby. It’s a really fun match
you should look for on youtube.
But I got to thinking. What if
Savage didn’t do this match. What if it were Hulk Hogan? Hogan would
occasionally do a Worldwide or Saturday Night squash. How come we never
got Hulk Hogan vs. Beautiful Bobby? If there was anyone who was more WCW
than anyone else it was Beautiful Bobby. There’s a guy who should have
been a bigger star. Not World champion, but he sure as hell deserved a
US Title run or two or another TV Titile run. Bobby was always the consummate professional. You
could put him in against ANYONE and it would be good. So in this
fantasty booking, we’re going back to the Center Stage Theater in
Atlanta, Georgia in 1997. Hulk Hogan is the WCW/NWO World Heavyweight
Champion and to show he’ll face anyone, anytime, anywhere (wink wink)…we
give you this match.
For the purposes of dealing with Hulk
Hogan, this match takes place in an alternate universe. One where while
he still is the egomananical monster that he always was…he was at least
willing to do some business without evoking creative control.
Announcers: Tony Schiavone and Bobby Heenan
Tony:
Well fans up next we have what promises to be an interesting one.
Hollywood Hulk Hogan is gracing us with his presence this week on
Worldwide and recently having won back the WCW/NWO World Heavyweight
Championship from the Total Package Lex Luger, he says he needs a proper
tune up before he grants Luger a rematch and tonight he is giving a non
title match to Beautiful Bobby Eaton.
Brain: Tony, you know
how much I hate Hulk Hogan. I’ve been saying for years the man in scum.
But if he thinks he’s walking into here for a tune up against a man like
Bobby Eaton and walk over him…he has another thing coming.
Tony:
You are absolutely right Brain. I have known Bobby Eaton for a good
fifteen years in this sport. In a business full of backstabbers, he is
one of the most honest people you will ever meet. Beautiful Bobby might
be in the twilight of his career and what we call the lower card. But
everyone knows that on any given night anything can happen and you and I
both know that Hulk Hogan is not taking this match seriously. I have
seen Beautiful Bobby take Ric Flair to the absolute limit in a match
where if there one more minute on the clock, Beautiful
Bobby would be a former World’s champion tonight.
Brain:
Hogan as much as we hate him, he knows what he’s doing in that ring.
But if you want to see what happens on that one night…go ask Harley Race
about his match against Tommy Rich. Go ask my old friend Nick
Bockwinkle what happened when he faced Otto Wanz. It might not be for
the title tonight, but Hogan better not look past this man.
Tony: With that in mind, let’s head up to the ring for the introductions.
Generic WCW Rock music plays
Announcer:
Wrestling fans the following contest scheduled for one fall with
television time remaining. Introducing first, hailing from Huntsville,
Alabama…He weighs in at 238 Pounds…This is Beautiful Bobby.
Bobby enters the ring to a modest ovation from the studio crowd.
The N.W.O. Theme comes on and Hulk Hogan starts to come down the aisle doing his air guitar with the championship belt.
Announcer:
And his opponent, accompanied to the ring by Vincent…hailing from
Hollywood, California…weighing in at 275 Pounds…He is the reigning and
defending WCW/NWO World Heavyweight Champion…This is HOLLYWOOD HULK
HOGAN.
Hogan enters the ring and hands the title belt to
Vincent and does his shirt tear and pose. He grabs the title belt back
from Vincent and holds it up saying “THIS IS HOLLYWOOD’S HOUSE” and
hands it to referee Mark Curtis (clad in his trademark suspenders).
Tony:
We are just a couple weeks removed from Hollywood Hogan having won back
the World’s Heavyweight Championship in Sturgis from The Total Package.
Lex Luger is entitled to a rematch, but Hulk Hogan is doing everything
he can to delay that. Tonight he says he wants a tune up and referee
Mark Curtis has called for the bell and this one is under way. Bobby
Eaton still in great shape as they go for the tie up and Hogan shove’s
Eaton down to the mat.
Hogan does his posing for the crowd as
they boo him. Vincent on the outside bows to Hulk Hogan. Eaton gets back
up and after a few seconds they go to lock up again and this time Eaton
gets the advantage and he shove’s Hogan to the mat.
Tony: Bobby Eaton is showing early in this match that he can give it just as good as you can.
Hogan gets back up and complains about a hair pull.
Brain: A hair pull? Ahahahahahahahahaha.
Tony: Come on Brain, you know that’s a sensitive topic.
Mark
Curtis tells him there was no pull and Hogan charges Eaton and locks up
again. He takes Eaton down with a drop toe hold. He does a spin across
his back and paint brushes the back of Eaton’s head. Hogan is back up
and he once again poses to the crowd getting enormous boos from them.
Tony:
Right now Hulk Hogan Is treating this like it’s a light exhibition as
Bobby Eaton stands back up. Eaton is not letting Hogan’s total lack of
respect get to him. They lock up again and this time Beautiful Bobby
with the advantage as he drop toe hold’s Hogan and he does a spin and he
paint brushes the back of Hogan’s head.
Hogan is irate as he
stands back up and he takes a swing at Bobby but misses and Eaton
connects with a big right hand. He quickly grabs Hogan and sends him
into the ropes and sets up for a back drop but Hogan counters with a
kick to the midsection and a clubbing forearm to the back that knocks
Eaton down to the mat.
Brain: I will say this about Hulk
Hogan. The man is not a fool. He is always a few steps ahead of you in
that ring. Plus he has that little sycophant of his Vincent on the
outside.
Tony: We hate to praise anything that man does, but
you can’t get to where Hulk Hogan has in this industry without being
ahead of everyone else. Hogan now is on the attack as he stomps on the
back of Bobby Eaton. Hogan grabs Bobby by the hair and he throws him
out through the middle rope and out to the floor.
Hogan
distracts Mark Curtis who tries to see around Hogan but cant. As Hogan
distracts, Vincent picks up Bobby and slams him onto the hard stage
floor. He then picks Bobby back up and throws him into the ring and
trash talks to the camera about how that’s how Hollywood gets it done.
Brain:
I have always hated that annoying little man. You know Dibiase only
hired him way back when because he felt sorry for him.
Tony: I
can honestly believe you there brain. Vincent is what you would call
the poster child for a hanger on. Hogan only needs him when he needs
someone to do his dirty work and right now Hogan is in control of this
match as he drops an elbow onto Beautiful Bobby…he’s back up and drops
another…and once more for a third time. Hogan with a nonchalant
cover…One…Two…Kickout by Beautiful Bobby.
Hogan is up and
looking down at Mark Curtis’s face about a slow count and Curtis tells
him to back off. Vincent hops onto the ring apron and grabs Curtis by
the shirt but Mark shoves him off the ring knocking Vincent on his ass
on to the floor. Curtis hops outside and points to his shirt that he is
in charge here and if he does that again he’ll be out of here.
Brain: For a referee that’s three feet tall, he sure has a Napoleon complex.
Tony:
Mark Curtis is one of the finest officials in our sport and he won’t
take that kind of abuse from anyone. Hogan is looking down at the floor
telling Vincent to get up but in the ring Hogan isn’t paying attention
and Bobby Eaton is back up. He grabs Hogan from behind and spins him
around and he connects with a big right hand and another and another and
he sends Hogan into the ropes.
Hogan tries for the big boot
but Bobby ducks it and he goes behind Hogan and picks him up…BIG BELLY
TO BACK SUPLEX. Bobby with the pin…Mark Curtis back into the
ring…One…Two…KICKOUT by Hulk Hogan.
Brain: I’ll tell you
what. Hulk Hogan was not expecting that. Bobby Eaton caught him good
with those right hands. I think Hogan is dazed.
Tony: You
might be right Brain as Bobby picks Hogan back up and he goes to whip
Hogan into the corner but Hogan counters and send him in instead. Hogan
comes running and he nails Bobby with a big clothesline that causes
Eaton to drop to the mat.
Hogan quickly drops down to the mat
and rolls Bobby over but instead of going for a pin he does a blatant
choke that Mark Curtis tries to break before starting his count.
Referee: ONE…TWO…THREE…FOUR
Hogan
stands back up and he and Mark Curtis start arguing over the rules.
Vincent sneaks in under the bottom rope and chokes Bobby some more
before ducking back out and strutting around the ring like he owns the
place causing the crowd to boo.
Brain: I liked him better after the referee knocked him off the ring.
Tony:
We all did Brain. Meanwhile back in the ring Bobby Eaton is pulling
himself back up to his feet and Hulk Hogan is just waiting for him and
Bobby turns around and Hogan nails him with a right hand and another and
another and he sends him into the ropes and he connects with the big
boot.
Bobby is out in the middle of the ring and Hulk Hogan
takes his time once again posing for the crowd while Vincent bows before
him on the floor telling him how great he is. Hogan continues to take
his time and motions that he’s gonna end it and he goes into the ropes
slowly and he goes for a lackluster leg drop on purpose but it backfires
as Bobby Eaton moves out of the way.
Tony: I DON’T BELIEVE IT. HE MISSED THE LEG DROP.
Brain: BOBBY…THIS IS YOUR CHANCE…USE IT.
Tony:
Bobby is back up to his feet and so is Hulk Hogan. Bobby nails Hogan
with a big right hand and another and another and he sends Hogan into
the ropes and he catches him with a big back body drop.
Vincent
hops up onto the ring apron but Bobby quickly spots him and he knocks
him out with a straight right that sends him down to the floor.
Brain: WHAT A RIGHT HAND!!!
Hogan
is back up and he is begging Bobby for mercy and Bobby looks at the
crowd and they are going wild and he starts hammering away on Hulk Hogan
with more rights. He picks Hogan up and he goes to whip him into the
ropes but Hogan counters. Bobby hangs on and spins Hogan around and
connects with a left arm lariat.
Tony: Fans, I can’t believe
what I am seeing here. Tradition lives again as Beautiful Bobby Eaton is
turning back the clock and he is taking it to the world’s champion here
on Saturday Night. This crowd has come to their feet. They know they
are witnessing something special here tonight and Hulk Hogan is now the
one pulling himself back up to his feet. Bobby is waiting for him and he
nails him with a boot to the midsection and he goes into the
ropes…SWINGING NECK BREAKER.
Brain: Oh My God…he’s not going to? Is he?
Tony: Yes he is…Bobby’s going for it all. He’s going to the outside and up top for the Alabama Jam…
Hogan is down in the center of the ring. Bobby takes a moment to look it in and he leaps and he connects.
Tony:BOBBY HITS THE JAM. HE GOES FOR THE COVER…ONE…TWO…
Vincent
dives in at the last second breaking up the pin and he attacks
Beautiful Bobby. Mark Curtis calls for the bell and Vincent promptly
throws him over the top rope and out to the floor. Vincent motions to
the back calling for more NWO support and Scott Norton and Buff Bagwell
come running to the ring and they continue the attack.
Tony: Bobby Eaton almost scored the victory of a lifetime and once again the numbers come into play.
Brain: He had Hogan beat. Hogan was beat in the middle of that ring.
Hulk
Hogan gets back up to his feet but he bails out of the ring when in the
background he sees Ray Traylor come running down to the ring with chair
in hand. Ray slides into the ring and he quickly nails Norton with the
chair right in the midsection. He takes a swing at Buff but Bagwell
dives through the ropes and out to the floor. Ray drops the chair as
Vincent doesn’t see him and when he turns around he Ray nails him with a
right hand and he sends him into the ropes and he catches him with a
Sidewalk slam. Beautiful Bobby stands up groggy and he sees Ray in the
ring and after a moment they shake hands and then hug.
Tony: Fans I’m not sure what we just saw here.
Brain:
Oh I know what we just saw. We just saw a man standing up for what he
believes in and that’s and old friend like Bobby Eaton. You know him and
Ray Traylor go way back. I think tonight the NWO got a taste of some
wrestling tradition that they didn’t count on.
Tony: I think you are right Brain. I’m getting word that we have the official decision in the match…
Announcer: Ladies and gentlemen due to outsider interference your winner by disqualification is BEAUTIFUL BOBBY!!!
Tony:
I don’t think when this episode of Saturday Night started we would ever
think it would end with Beautiful Bobby getting a victory over
Hollywood Hogan.
Hogan is yelling on the floor that they both made a huge mistake. You don’t cross the boss and get away with it.
Tony:
Fans we are out of time tonight. We will see you tomorrow morning on
WCW Pro and always Monday Night on Monday Night Nitro.
The shot fades as Beautiful Bobby and Ray Traylor stand tall in the ring.
Written by Joe Davis of The Podcastinators If you like it, let us know. It’s part of a bigger series of posts to come.