A lot of people ask for travel advice – but not many of them will actually follow it. Most people tend to just do their own thing.
You see this happen all the time. You pass on this absolute gem of wisdom to a friend, sure that they will visit this tried-and-true location and have the time of their life, and then they get back home and you hear something like, "Oh yeah, nah, we didn't get time to go there unfortunately."
You what? That amazing, hole-in-the-wall restaurant I told you about? That weird, cool museum? That bar that does the $5 cocktails? How could you not follow that advice and go there?
It's annoying to hear this, as the giver of the advice. You go to all that trouble to pass on your gems of wisdom and then they're completely ignored. Your friend could have had one of the coolest travel experiences on the planet, and instead they just went for some cookie-cutter place they found in the guidebook. What's the point of even trying?
The thing is though, there's something else at play here. The annoyance you feel at having your advice ignored is about more than just the waste of the time you took to pass it on. It's about more than the frustration at finding out that your friends chose not to do something great.
Most of us, I think, would have to admit that part of that annoyance is an ego thing. It's reasonable to assume that you don't just pass on travel advice purely out of a pristine sense of altruism. You pass it on, partly, because you want your friends to understand that the places you found overseas are freakin' awesome. And you want to hear about it when they return.
This is definitely a thing. Consider the feeling you get when someone returns from a holiday and tells you they went to that place you told them about and they loved it. Yeah, you think, I do know the best places.
When your friends don't follow that advice, meanwhile, you're denied this moment of glory. There's a part of you, I'm sure, that's genuinely disappointed that your friend didn't get to go somewhere cool – but there's another part that you would have to admit is annoyed that you're not receiving the props you so clearly deserve.
This happens to me. I can admit that. Given the nature of my job, I get asked for travel advice all of the time, and I try to pass it on as often as possible. Technically, that should be the end of it. Click send on the email, or the text message, and forget about it. Advice passed on. We're done.
Except, it's pretty disappointing when that is the end. What you really want is the person to get back to you a few weeks later and say, "That was the best restaurant I've ever been to. That hotel was awesome. That was such a good idea to hire a bike. I would never have found that art gallery." Etcetera.
I'm not saying this is a particularly attractive trait, but I'm sure it's something most people would feel. It's nice to have your efforts in helping people recognised. It's even nicer to have someone tell you that they enjoyed sharing an experience you recommended, that they had a similarly great time in a place you discovered.
I try to do this in return, too. I love getting great travel advice, tips from people who've already been to a destination and figured out the best things to do, and I try to recognise that. I give them a call-out on social media. Send them an email to let them know they were on point.
There's a great restaurant in Rome that was recommended to me by a few old friends – it's called Salumeria Roscioli, by the way; thanks again Lizzie and Dunc – and every time I pass that gem on to another set of travellers I drop them a line to let them know their wisdom is making its way around the world once again.
This is good travel karma, surely. And at the very least, they'll know I actually listened to what they had to say.
What's the best travel tip you've ever received? Give your friends a shout-out below.
Email: b.groundwater@fairfaxmedia.com.au
Instagram: instagram.com/bengroundwater
See also: The 10 things that will annoy travellers to Europe
See also: The one thing you should do at the start of every trip
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