It might sound like a tabloid headline about a reverse vasectomy, but Warney Uncut is actually the name of what promises to be "an intimate evening" in the theatre with the one-time King of Spin.
And, Shane Warne insists, it will be entirely spin-free, a corrective to all those "inaccurate" news stories, unauthorised biographies, and Eddie Perfect stage musicals that have distorted our perception of Australia's most successful Test bowler since he burst onto the scene more than 25 years ago.
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"There's been a lot of ups and downs, a lot of moments in my life that haven't been reported correctly," Warne said at a hastily convened press conference on Tuesday to announce the forthcoming tour. "Some of it's been pretty hurtful. I've caused a lot of it myself, and I take responsibility for a lot of those things, but also there's been things that just aren't true, that are factually wrong."
This show – and it will, promises his manager James Erskine, be "a proper theatre show, like the Michael Parkinson one-man show, or the David Attenborough type of show" – is Warney's chance to set the record straight.
![Golden boy: Shane Warne at the announcement of his <i>Warney Uncut</i> national tour.](/web/20170209150112im_/http://www.theage.com.au/content/dam/images/g/u/7/6/v/o/image.related.articleLeadwide.620x349.gu78jt.png/1486461437118.jpg)
"This is the best opportunity to get everything out," says Warne, who turns 48 this year. "People can judge whatever way they like, but I'll tell the truth, nothing but the truth, the whole truth. I'm looking forward to getting everything off my chest."
Getting up close and personal with Warney has until now been reserved for the Liz Hurleys of the world (or, occasionally, models – preferably in pairs). But now anyone with a hundred bucks in hand can buy a little piece of intimacy. And for $399, those who want to take the relationship to the next level can grab a VIP package, which grants the bearer "the chance to say hello to Warney". Be still, your beating heart.
Up on stage, Warne is promising plenty of cricket talk: what was going through his mind as he ambled in to deliver his first ball in Test cricket; what really went on between him and Steve Waugh. But he knows it's his personal peccadilloes as much as his prowess on the field that have kept the public interest alive.
So, does that mean he'll be touching on the texting scandals? His brief tenure as a TV chat-show host? The reported troubles with his charity, the Shane Warne Foundation? The high-profile romance with Hurley? The low-profile romps with glamour girls? The divorce?
![With then-girlfriend Liz Hurley in 2011.](/web/20170209150112im_/http://www.theage.com.au/content/dam/images/g/u/7/6/y/e/image.related.articleLeadwide.620x349.gu78jt.png/1486461437118.jpg)
"I don't want to tell you right now because then there's no point about the show," he says a little tetchily. "But I will be talking about my personal life, yes."
"I think Shane straddles everybody in Australia, and in England," chips in Erskine, trying to defuse the tension.
![Eddie Perfect with Lisa McCune (as Simone Warne ) and Christine Whelan (as Liz Hurley) in <i>Shane Warne: The ...](/web/20170209150112im_/http://www.theage.com.au/content/dam/images/g/u/7/7/0/x/image.related.articleLeadwide.620x349.gu78jt.png/1486461437118.jpg)
"Just be careful of the wording there James," offers Warne.
And if the show is a success, might the man his teammates dubbed "Hollywood" become "West End Warnie"?
![You have been Warned.](/web/20170209150112im_/http://www.theage.com.au/content/dam/images/g/u/7/6/v/m/image.related.articleLeadwide.620x349.gu78jt.png/1486461437118.jpg)
"I think this is something that could do very well in England," says Erskine. "If it really works here and everyone gets excited about it as they did with Parkinson and Attenborough, we'll go to England.
"He could still do it when he's 60," he adds. "There's always more material."
Ain't that the truth.
Warney Uncut will premiere at the Opera House in Sydney on April 20, then tour nationally until May 12. Details: warneyuncut.com.au
Karl Quinn is on facebook at karlquinnjournalist and on twitter @karlkwin
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