Celebrity Carry on Barging
8pm, Channel 5
If you can get past the slap-and-tickle title, this is a slice of gentle telly inhabited by charming celebrities. Debbie McGee, Simon Callow, Lorraine Chase and Nigel Havers are flung together to try out canal boating. They’re a likable bunch and watching them take in the scenery is the perfect antidote to Celeb Big Brother fighting. As they begin their journey, they giggle when a man called John Inman tells them how to operate the locks. Hannah Verdier
Modern Family
8.30pm, Sky1
The Dunphys and their sadsack former neighbour Jerry head to Cam and Mitchell’s “Thanksgiving jamboree”, a country-themed bash at their place. But things are tense from the off. Boondocks-averse Mitchell clearly has an ulterior motive for throwing himself into Cam’s twee shindig, and Phil is furious that Haley is going to miss the family football game by jetting off to Cabo with Rainer. With an anaemic gag count, it’s just so far from its glory days. Ben Arnold
Birds of Paradise: The Ultimate Quest
9pm, BBC2
Explorer Benedict Allen is on a mission to get disabled journalist Frank Gardner into the wilds of Papua New Guinea, wheelchair and all, so that he can see wild birds of paradise first hand. In the second of this two-part documentary, the highland terrain gets even tougher for the duo to negotiate as they cross two tribal territories. Worse, as the expedition is nearing completion, Frank’s old injuries return to haunt him. David Stubbs
Cruising With Jane McDonald
9pm, Channel 5
Close to two decades since she found fame on The Cruise, singer Jane McDonald returns to the ocean as a passenger sampling different kinds of floaty holidays. First up is a mega-cruise from Miami through the Caribbean. Along the way, McDonald dives with sharks, samples a piña colada made with heritage rum and offers advice on packing: namely, bring Lycra – when the breakfast buffet features pizza, you’ll put on weight – and “lots of pants”. Jonathan Wright
Arena: Alone With Chrissie Hynde
9pm, BBC4
An admirably unfussy film that relies upon the simple formula of allowing its subject to talk about her life, interspersed with live music from a recent show. It helps, of course, that Chrissie Hynde is such excellent company. Here, she shares her whip-smart observations on everything from cows (every home should have one) to solitude (“being alone is a huge luxury”). Hynde is still fiery and restless, and this doc does her full justice. Phil Harrison
Tracey Ullman’s Show
9.30pm, BBC1
Although sketch shows are naturally dilettantish, Ullman’s skims too many surfaces. The impersonations – Maggie Smith, Germaine Greer – are on the money and skits such as the one about greetings cards all being rude nowadays are solid, but it’s all a punchline or idea short. Observations on gentrification and posh actors lack a fresh point, and a playlet about a woman thwarted by her elderly mother hasn’t time to develop its pathos. Jack Seale
Caraoke Showdown
11.30pm, Spike
Viral hit Carpool Karaoke is the obvious inspiration for this cut-and-shunt job in which Craig Robinson lures passing civilians into his tricked-out minivan. The charismatic comic then cajoles them into completing outre singing challenges to win cash prizes. The pace is frantic, the playlist eclectic and local celebs sometimes hitch a ride; in tonight’s Vegas-set instalment, the Blue Man Group pile into the back seat to help out. Graeme Virtue
Film choices
Blood Diamond (Edward Zwick, 2006) 11.55pm, BBC1
Set in wartorn Sierra Leone in the 1990s, this gritty, compelling action movie is propelled by a trio of strong performances: Djimon Hounsou as a fisherman trying to free his son from the grip of the child-army; Jennifer Connelly, a journalist investigating the murky world of conflict diamonds; and Leonardo DiCaprio’s soldier of fortune – each, for their own reasons, on a quest to find a precious stone.
Our Little Sister (Hirokazu Koreeda, 2015) 2.40am, Sky Cinema Premiere
The gentle spirit of Ozu permeates Hirokazu Koreeda’s sweetly perceptive family drama. Not that there is much drama; the issues play out quietly. It concerns three sisters – bank worker Yoshino, shop assistant Chika and nurse Sachi – who, long estranged from their parents, discover at their father’s funeral that they have a half-sister, Suzu. Inviting her to live with them, the teenager’s joyful presence has them reassessing their lives. Paul Howlett
Today’s best live sport
Premiership rugby union: Bath v Northampton The Recreation Ground hosts this top-flight clash. 7pm, BT Sport 1
Championship football: Sheffield Wednesday v Birmingham City The hosts look to maintain their promotion push. 7pm, Sky Sports 1
Super League rugby league: Castleford v Leigh The curiously titled Mend-a-Hose Jungle hosts this week one clash. 7.30pm, Sky Sports 2
