Plus-size artist reveals she wanted to 'take a knife and cut off' her stomach when she was younger, as she details her bitter struggle with self-esteem while bravely stripping on camera

  • Musician and poet Tarriona 'Tank' Ball said she still has a difficult relationship with her body and 'shakes' her stomach area when she is naked
  • The Tank and the Bangas star said she does not feel able to 'show' her body because she claimed she is not 'fine'
  • Speaking as she undressed on camera for StyleLikeU's video series, the New Orleans resident said there are 'rules' to dressing as a 'big girl'
  • After Hurricane Katrina in 2005 Ball moved to Indianapolis which she said was 'probably the worst and best time of my life'

By Miranda Bryant For Dailymail.com

Published: 11:57 EST, 8 February 2017 | Updated: 12:44 EST, 8 February 2017

Artist Tarriona 'Tank' Ball has revealed how she used to want to 'cut off' her stomach flesh as she shared her difficult relationship with her body.

The musician and poet from New Orleans said she still suffers from self-esteem issues as she revealed that she 'shakes' her stomach area when she is naked.

Speaking as she undressed on camera as part of StyleLikeU’s What's Underneath Project New Orleans video series, the Tank and the Bangas star said she does not feel able to 'show' her body because she claimed she is not 'fine'. 

Honest: Artist Tarriona 'Tank' Ball, pictured undressing on camera for the StyleLikeU video series, said she used to want to remove her stomach flesh as she shared her self-esteem issues

Honest: Artist Tarriona 'Tank' Ball, pictured undressing on camera for the StyleLikeU video series, said she used to want to remove her stomach flesh as she shared her self-esteem issues

Personal: The musician and poet from New Orleans became emotional as she described her difficult relationship with her body

Personal: The musician and poet from New Orleans became emotional as she described her difficult relationship with her body

She said: 'When I'm naked I tend to take my [stomach] and shake it all the time. I just shake it, like look at it...When I was younger I wanted to cut it off. Like literally take a knife and cut it off.'

She said she would 'love' to wear a two-piece - which she has never done before - but does not feel confident enough to do so.

'Mostly when I want to wear something I just feel like you can't wear that. Just wait until you lose some more weight,' she added.

She claimed there are 'rules' to dressing as a 'big girl' including wearing undergarments 'to tuck yourself in' and having immaculate hair, eyelashes and make-up.

Ball said: 'You don't feel like you have the liberty to show your body like that because you're not typically what we would call "fine".

'You're not fine. You have no right to be wearing a tight shirt and tights at the same time...It's like there are rules to being a big girl.'

Self-esteem issues: She said she 'shakes' her stomach area when she is naked

Self-esteem issues: She said she 'shakes' her stomach area when she is naked

Self-deprecating: The Tank and the Bangas star said she does not feel able to 'show' her body because she claimed she is not 'fine'

Self-deprecating: The Tank and the Bangas star said she does not feel able to 'show' her body because she claimed she is not 'fine'

She added: 'The rules are you should always wear undergarments to tuck yourself in and to make your outfits look proper. 

'You know your face has to be on, your lashes, your make-up, you have to be on...If you're a girl period but if you're a thicker girl, thicker girls tend to go the extra mile.' 

Fighting back tears, Ball said: 'There were so many times that I wasn't comfortable, that I like to feel comfortable.'

She added: 'It's so funny that I live my life in the most noticeable fashion these days when before I would do anything to blend in with the walls.'

After Hurricane Katrina in 2005 she moved to Indianapolis which she said was 'probably the worst and best time of my life'.

She moved to a school where, unlike at her old school, she did not have to wear uniform and had access to a huge array of thrift store clothes at the apartment complex they were housed in.

Limited: She said there are 'rules' to dressing as a 'big girl'
Limited: She said there are 'rules' to dressing as a 'big girl'

Limited: She said there are 'rules' to dressing as a 'big girl'

Mixed emotions: After Hurricane Katrina in 2005 Ball moved to Indianapolis which she said was 'probably the worst and best time of my life'

Mixed emotions: After Hurricane Katrina in 2005 Ball moved to Indianapolis which she said was 'probably the worst and best time of my life'

She said: 'It is a house full of thrift store clothes that people had given away and me and my sister were in heaven...that's when I was literally able to redefine who I wanted to be.'

But it was a time of mixed emotions that left her in tears daily. 

She said: 'I would cry every day in my closet. I just couldn't believe that God took me away from home. I couldn't believe that he flooded the whole city.'

Ball said her older sisters were important role models in her life by making her feel 'proud' to be black.

She said: 'They always made me feel proud about having dark skin. I never felt like I was too dark.'

Ball added: 'There's so much ugly that can surround black features. Even our men. I feel like our men don't even love us. If you hear the songs they write about us, it's horrible.'

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