One Day At A Time actress Mackenzie Phillips, 57, reveals that members of her own family still blame HER for exposing her 10-year incestuous relationship with her father
- One Day at a Time star revealed the affair with her father eight-years ago
- Has published a new book and claims that some family have disowned her
- She says that some still blame her for the abuse her father inflicted on her
- She sensationally exposed their 10-year affair in first book, High on Arrival
- She was 19 when she was raped by Mamas & The Papas singer John Phillips
- This developed though into a consensual relationship between the pair
- Phillips died in 2001 and Mackenzie says she decided to open up about him
She revealed eight years ago that she had a long-term incestuous relationship with her father, The Mamas & The Papas singer John Phillips.
And now Mackenzie Phillips, 57, is opening up about the long-lasting impact the bombshell revelation has had on her family.
In excerpts from Phillips' new book, Hopeful Healing: Essays on Managing Recovery and Surviving Addiction, the actress reveals some of her family members still blame her for the abuse.
!['Some in my family have chosen to hold on to the pain': In her new book actress Mackenzie Phillips says exposing her incestuous affair with her father in 2009 ruined her family relationships](http://web.archive.org./web/20170208132215/http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2017/02/08/03/3CF0AE3500000578-4201738-_Some_in_my_family_have_chosen_to_hold_on_to_the_pain_In_her_new-m-7_1486524736613.jpg)
!['They’re still caught in a textbook response of devaluing the victim': While the 57-year-old star is trying to move on, some in her family are still blaming her and she was even dis-invited to a birthday party](http://web.archive.org./web/20170208132215/http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2017/02/08/03/3CF0AE4500000578-4201738-_They_re_still_caught_in_a_textbook_response_of_devaluing_the_vi-a-8_1486524743823.jpg)
Trials: 'Some in my family have chosen to hold on to the pain': In her new book actress Mackenzie Phillips says exposing her incestuous affair with her father in 2009 ruined her family relationships
![Shocking: Phillips exposed the secret, in her book High on Arrival in 2009, that her father John Phillips raped her at age 19 while they were under the influence of drugs and alcohol in 1979. This picture dates from 1980 as their affair continued](http://web.archive.org./web/20170208132215/http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2017/02/07/23/3CF0BE0E00000578-4201738-Shocking_Phillips_exposed_the_secret_in_her_book_High_on_Arrival-m-215_1486509628219.jpg)
Shocking: Phillips exposed the secret, in her book High on Arrival in 2009, that her father John Phillips raped her at age 19 while they were under the influence of drugs and alcohol in 1979. This picture dates from 1980 as their affair continued
One relative even dis-invited her from a birthday party, as Phillips' explained: 'Another family member was angered that I might attend, and I was told she was just not willing to forgive me yet.
'She wouldn't forgive me! For abuses perpetrated against me as a child, or for exposing those abuses perhaps,' she writes.
Phillips exposed her secret in 2009 in her first book High on Arrival, revealing that her father, singer John Phillips, raped her at age 19 while they were under the influence of drugs and alcohol.
'Papa' John was the chief songwriter and leader of The Mamas & The Papas - the iconic group that topped the charts around the world in the Sixties with hits such as California Dreamin' and Monday, Monday.
He died in 2001 at the age of 65 after a long battle with drug and alcohol addiction.
Before his death, Miss Phillips said she confronted her father, saying to him: 'We have to talk about when you raped me.'
Her father reportedly replied: 'You mean when we made love?'
![Trauma: In 2009, Mackenzie Phillips appeared on Oprah to discuss her book High on Arrival in which she said her father John Phillips raped her on her wedding night](http://web.archive.org./web/20170208132215/http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2017/02/08/06/3CF1D3BF00000578-4201738-image-a-4_1486535662998.jpg)
Trauma: In 2009, Mackenzie Phillips appeared on Oprah to discuss her book High on Arrival in which she said her father John Phillips raped her on her wedding night
Phillips, who has struggled with drug addiction in the past, changed her life around as she entered her 50s and is now a drug rehab counselor at Breathe Life Healing Center.
The former One Day At A Time star says she turns to her own counselor and loved ones for support.
However, in her new book she reveals that some of her family members, who she does not name, have yet to come to terms with her dramatic revelations.
'I've come to understand that some in my family have chosen to hold on to the pain and anger they felt when I came out with the truth about my dad,' she writes in Hopeful Healing: Essays on Managing Recovery and Surviving Addiction.
The actress says that she feels her family have left her feeling like she was at fault, even though she was only 19 and have yet to come to terms with their father's guilt.
'I understand that they're still caught in a textbook response of devaluing the victim and holding up the perpetrator,' writes Phillips.
'I've also had to accept that, of course, I'd be the target of negative reactions and feelings because I'm the one who wrote the book and told a truth no one wanted to hear. If you're trying to maintain some sort of façade so you can avoid pain, the last thing you want is for the façade to be demolished.'
![Family: John Phillips and his daughter Mackenzie Phillips (center) are seen here in 1998 along with his daughter Bijou (left) and fourth wife Farnaz Arasteh (right) at the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame Dinner at the Waldorf Astoria in New York City](http://web.archive.org./web/20170208132215/http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2017/02/08/06/3CF1D3B300000578-4201738-image-a-7_1486535819763.jpg)
Family: John Phillips and his daughter Mackenzie Phillips (center) are seen here in 1998 along with his daughter Bijou (left) and fourth wife Farnaz Arasteh (right) at the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame Dinner at the Waldorf Astoria in New York City
Speaking to USA Today, Mackenzie said that while she doesn't expect her new book to get the same attention as her last, she wants to share the lessons she has learned working at Breathe Life Healing Centers in West Hollywood.
The book recounts her life since her 2008 arrest for heroin possession, the furor that followed the revelations about her father and her life of sobriety since.
'I thought, 'Wow, I have a lot of experience about what it's like to relapse; to get into early recovery; what you're supposed to do with your time; shame, guilt, trust. That's the book I want to write,' ' said Mackenzie to USA Today.
![The way they were: Mackenzie is pictured with her father, her half-brother Tamerlane and her father's wife Genevieve Waite in 1980](http://web.archive.org./web/20170208132215/http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2017/02/07/23/3CF0BE0A00000578-4201738-Mackenzie_is_pictured_with_her_father_her_half_brother_Tamerlane-m-213_1486509323071.jpg)
The way they were: Mackenzie is pictured with her father, her half-brother Tamerlane and her father's wife Genevieve Waite in 1980
Eight years ago, Phillips' half-sister country stat Chynna Phillips told Oprah Winfrey: 'Am I exceedingly joyful that my family secret that I told maybe my therapist, my husband and my very best friend in the whole world [is now public]? No,
She added that when her sister had told her she had a ten-year relationship with their father. 'Somebody could have dropped a piano on my head and I wouldn't have felt it. But I knew it was true,' she said.
Another of Phillips' half-sisters Bijou said in a statement at the time: 'I understand Mackenzie's need to come clean with a history she feels will help others, but it's devastating to have the world watch as we try and mend broken fences, especially when the man in question isn't here to defend himself,'
![Release: Mackenzie Phillips now works with addicts at the Breathe Life Healing Center in West Hollywood and her new book is about her own struggles with drugs and alcohol](http://web.archive.org./web/20170208132215/http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2017/02/08/06/3CF27CA000000578-4201738-image-a-9_1486535978496.jpg)
Release: Mackenzie Phillips now works with addicts at the Breathe Life Healing Center in West Hollywood and her new book is about her own struggles with drugs and alcohol
In her first book, Mackenzie Phillips says that her father raped her on the night before her wedding.
She claims that he injected her with a dose of heroin and cocaine, known as a speedball.
However, they then began a consensual incestuous relationship which lasted around 10 years.
The relationship ended abruptly in 1989 when she fell pregnant and was not sure if the child belonged to her father or her husband.
John Phillips paid for the abortion and Mackenzie claims she never let him touch her again.
'It was one of those moments where you're either going to live or die, I don't mean death. I mean, wake up dead. Dead to feeling. Dead to reality,' she wrote in her first book.
Several of Phillips' family members accused her of lying when her book was first published eight years ago.
Some were upset that she was making allegations that her father, who passed away in 2001, couldn't defend himself against.
Mackenzie herself broke down on Oprah as she explained her book and how she came to be raped by her father.
She said her father turned up on the eve of her 1979 wedding to Jeff Sessler - a member of the Rolling Stones entourage - determined to stop the marriage.
'I had tons of pills, and dad had tons of everything, too. Eventually I passed out on dad's bed,' she wrote in her book
'My father was not a man with boundaries. He was full of love, and he was sick with drugs.
'I woke up that night from a blackout to find myself having sex with my own father. Had this happened before? I didn't know. All I can say is it was the first time I was aware of it.'
'For a moment I was in my body, in that horrible truth, and then I slid back into a blackout.'
![TV star: Mackenzie starred in One Day At A Time from 1975 to 1983](http://web.archive.org./web/20170208132215/http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2017/02/07/23/3CF0AE4D00000578-4201738-image-a-218_1486510032837.jpg)
TV star: Mackenzie starred in One Day At A Time from 1975 to 1983
Mackenzie also told Oprah Winfrey her father taught her to roll joints at ten and she tried cocaine for the first time at eleven.
From being raped as a teenager by her father while she was in a drug-addled stupor, Ms Phillips said the relationship became consensual and lasted almost a decade.
'We're touring, and I begin waking up after drug-fuelled events with my pants around my ankles and my father sleeping beside me,' she said.
'Again, [I thought]: 'Don't think. Don't look. Just keep going.' And this happened over time. It didn't happen every day. It didn't happen every week, but it certainly happened.'
Hopeful Healing: Essays on Managing Recovery and Surviving Addiction goes on sale Tuesday, Feb. 7.
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