'You can have your desk back, President Bannon': Alec Baldwin returns as President Trump while 'the Grim Reaper' steps in as chief strategist Steve Bannon in hilarious SNL cold open
- Alec Baldwin returns as Trump for the first time since the inauguration
- Trump is seen phoning the leaders of Australia, Germany, Mexico, and Zimbabwe
- The president also relies on his chief strategist, Steve Bannon, played by the Grim Reaper
- Trump defends his travel ban against seven countries saying: 'We had to do it because of that huge massacre at Bowling Green'
After a two-week hiatus, Alec Baldwin returned to portray President Donald Trump on Saturday Night Live – the first time he has done so since the inauguration on January 20.
In a spoof of the new president’s first two weeks in office, the show’s cold open shows Trump phoning the prime minister of Australia, the president of Mexico, the chancellor of Germany, and the president of Zimbabwe – with the Grim Reaper (Steve Bannon) by his side in the Oval Office.
The skit begins with an aide to Trump telling his boss that he’s about to go home for the night.
‘How do you like working at the White House?’ Trump asks. ‘Are your parents proud?’
‘I tell them I work at Applebee’s,’ he said.
Trump then inquires about his daughter, Ivanka, and her husband, Jared Kushner.
He tells the aide that 'they always keep me so calm and make sure i don't do anything too crazy.'
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When Trump is told that they do not work on the Jewish Sabbath, he says: 'When the Jews are away, the goys will play.'
Trump is then joined in the Oval Office by 'Steve Bannon,' portrayed by the Grim Reaper.
After Trump tells 'Bannon' that he has had a long day, he picks up the phone and calls Australian Prime Minister Malcolm Turnbull, played by cast member Beck Bennett.
'I hear there's been a lot of blowback over your Muslim ban,' Turnbull tells Trump.
'No there wasn't,' Trump says. 'Everyone loves it. We had to do it because of that huge massacre at Bowling Green.'
That was a reference to Trump counselor Kellyanne Conway's false claim that refugees were responsible for a massacre at Bowling Green even though that never happened.
When Turnbull told Trump that he had never heard of it, Trump said: 'It was horrible. So many people died, but they're the lucky ones. They don't have to see how bad The Apprentice has gotten.'
That joke was in reference to Trump's remarks at the National Prayer Breakfast earlier this week taunting Arnold Schwarzenegger for his ratings on the latest version of the show once hosted by Trump.
Turnbull then thanks Trump for honoring the agreement made by his predecessor to accept 1,200 refugees – to which a stunned Trump replied: ‘Homey say what?’
'Your compassion will not be forgotten,' the Australian leader tells Trump.
The president then replies: 'No, no, no.'
'America first, Australia sucks, prepare to go to war,' Trump tells Turnbull before hanging up.
When Trump asks 'Bannon' if 'the call was bad,' the advisor gives his approval.
'No, it went just according to plan,' he says.
Trump then dials up Mexican President Enrique Pena Nieto and tries to trick him into paying for the wall along the southern border.
'I've figured out a smart diplomatic way to get them to pay for this wall,' Trump boasts.
When Pena Nieto, played by Alex Moffat, answers the phone, Trump says: 'Guy who's gonna pay for the wall says what?'
A perplexed Pena Nieto replies: 'Que?'
Trump then repeats himself and receives the same reply.
Finally, Pena Nieto says: 'You say what, you're going to pay for the wall.'
An exasperated Trump then ends the conversation by saying: 'Loser. Bad hombre. Here come our tanks. We're gonna go to war.'
Trump then calls German Chancellor Angela Merkel, played by Kate McKinnon.
When a terrified Merkel picks up the phone, she says: 'Hello, is this my sweet Barack? I miss you, Barack.'
'No, it's Donald Trump,' the president replies.
Merkel then says: 'Gross.'
When Merkel asks Trump if protesters are still marching in the street in the US, Trump says: 'Yes, everyone is marching in the street. They're upset about how bad The Apprentice has gotten.'
Trump then proceeds to tell Merkel about controversial events of the past few days.
'Last week it was Holocaust Remembrance Day. And, as you know, 6 million people... were at my inauguration,' the president says.
The joke was in reference to the statement released by the White House commemorating the victims of the Holocaust without any mention of the 6 million Jews who perished - a move criticized by many.
When an indignant Trump blames the media for not reporting the '6 million people' who attended his inauguration, he then goes on to say that he'll write a memoir about his 'struggle.'
'I'll call it My Struggle,' he says to a horrified Merkel.
'How do you say that in German?' Trump asks, the reference being to Adolf Hitler's Mein Kampf.
Trump then abruptly ends the phone call with Merkel, telling her: 'Germany sucks, your wall failed, prepare to go to war.'
Trump then tries another tactic to get Pena Nieto to pay for the border wall.
'Congratulations, you've just won a free cruise for two to Hawaii,' Trump tells the Mexican president.
'We just need your country's credit card number.'
'We're not paying for the wall, Donald,' Pena Nieto says before hanging up.
'Why don't you call some random little country and show them who's boss,' Trump is told by 'Bannon.'
That's when Trump decided to phone Zimbabwean dictator Robert Mugabe, played by Kenan Thompson.
When Trump tells Mugabe, 'There's a new sheriff in town,' the Zimbabwean ruler fights back.
'I will rip out your spine and drink from your skull,' Mugabe tells him.
'You cannot even walk downstairs you little white b****.'
'Don't you ever call Zimbabwe again.'
The sketch ends with Trump vacating the desk to 'President Bannon.'
The president then sits down at a smaller desk while 'Bannon' occupies the bigger chair - a nod to criticism that Trump has given Bannon extraordinary powers on key matters of national security.
'That's enough fun for tonight,' the Grim Reaper tells Trump. 'Can i have my desk back?'
'Yes, of course, Mr President, i'll go sit at my desk,' Trump tells Bannon.
Trump then plays with a kid's toy, exclaiming: 'This is so much fun. I love it.'
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