BENIGN TO FIVE
"Word nerd" is such a vulgar term. I prefer to call myself an assiduous collector of language-related esoterica. You should too, if you're that way inclined. You should also listen to The Allusionist, a podcast I've just got onto, which recently introduced me to Euro-English
It's an extraordinary subject, worthy of its own 59-page word-by-word guide… which is precisely what Jeremy Gardner created for it.
He's a word nerd. He's also a senior translator at the European Court of Auditors and his document – Misused English words and expressions in EU publications – is a response to the establishment of a pidgin English within the European Union.
The EU has 24 official languages, but English is the most common one spoken among Eurocrats. It's really a version of English. And I don't mean it's occasionally employed awkwardly; it's systemically abused.
Gardner cites well over a hundred examples and gives lengthy explanations for each. Sometimes the reason for the confusion is easy to empathise with. "Assist to" is used to mean "attend" in Euro-English. "To attend" is assister in French and asistir in Spanish. Honest mistake.
Sometimes empathy is more difficult. "Briefing" has become "debriefing". "Planification" is used to mean "planning". "Actorness" has replaced "participation" or "involvement". These are not merely clumsy errors; try-hard managerial wankishness oozes from every one.
An article in Quartz magazine asked if Euro-English would get worse if Britain, "the largest and most influential group of native English speakers", departed the Union. The answer? "Ireland will become the primary defender of colloquial English in the EU." That's quite genuinely encouraging.
Jonathan Rivett's has actorness in haught.com.au as a blogger and in theinkbureau.com.au as a freelance writer.