It could have gone two ways for Simon Morley, one half of the duo behind long-running comedy show Puppetry of the Penis.
After selling out his first shows at the Melbourne International Comedy Festival – with no routine ready - he was well aware the niche he had chosen could easily, well, flop.
![David 'Friendly' Friend and Simon Morley are the duo behind long-running comedy show Puppetry of the Penis.](/web/20170125173619im_/http://www.theage.com.au/content/dam/images/g/t/v/g/5/d/image.related.articleLeadwide.620x349.gtus54.png/1485149060571.jpg)
"I knew at that point I would be unemployable for the rest of my life or if I did it properly and marketed it properly, it was a brand that would cross language barriers. So I went for it," says Morley, 18 years on.
Morley hoped his brother Justin, who'd taught him one of his original tricks, would join him on stage. But he'd landed a part on Neighbours and had to decline.
![Dan the Merman.](/web/20170125173619im_/http://www.theage.com.au/content/dam/images/g/t/u/t/6/u/image.related.articleLeadwide.620x349.gtus54.png/1485149060571.jpg)
So in stepped David 'Friendy' Friend, who was already running his own small business entertaining hen's nights. "Friendy was a professional dick-tricker, that was what he did. I was a lot more shy about it, but more business savvy," says Morley.
Eventually they took their unique skillset to the Edinburgh International Fringe Festival. There, a West End producer spotted them, luring them to the UK, and suddenly they had a real business on their hands.
"It was going to run for three weeks, but it ended up running for four-and-a-half months, and from there it just snowballed."
Puppetry of the Penis, which at one stage was running eight franchises worldwide, has now entertained about two million people in more than 35 countries and five languages. Everyone from Hugh Grant to Bono and David Beckham has seen the show.
![Bendy Em.](/web/20170125173619im_/http://www.theage.com.au/content/dam/images/g/t/u/t/7/7/image.related.articleLeadwide.620x349.gtus54.png/1485149060571.jpg)
At its peak, Morley says production companies did much of the business side. "Once things started to slow down, we realised we had to adopt all these skills we had learnt."
He says one of the biggest challenges has been keeping up with the shifts in marketing – especially social media. "To be honest it's quite torturous for a 50-year-old man."
![Dan the Merman.](/web/20170125173619im_/http://www.theage.com.au/content/dam/images/g/t/u/t/6/o/image.related.articleLeadNarrow.300x0.gtus54.png/1485149060571.jpg)
Morley never expected his party trick would keep audiences – and money – rolling in for almost two decades.
The business now has tours running in the UK and Australia, as well as a long-running Las Vegas show.
Meanwhile, Melbourne's NIDA-trained Daniel Hayward, aka The Merman Dan, is hoping he can carve out his own, very different niche.
About three months ago, Hayward launched himself, 14-kilogram merman tail and all, into business.
After discovering 'mermaiding' as a performance about five years ago, Hayward began training at Brunswick Baths.
"I'm a guy with tattoos all over his chest and arms and I'm there in a purple merman tail so it's going to draw some attention," says Hayward, who bought his custom-made tail from the US for just over $2000.
Hayward advertises his services for events, promotions and modelling. "If someone's having a lavish party and they want to set a scene, I'll swim around," he says.
He's also performing a one-merman musical cabaret at the Midsumma Festival.
Being a merman is not easy, says Hayward. "You're bound completely from your hips all the way to your feet. So I'm manoeuvring with ankles, and my knees."
He'll soon undertake a free diving certificate to further his underwater skills.
For now, Hayward works full-time as a national operations manager at a skin care company, and volunteers for Sea Shepherd, giving talks at schools. He hopes Merman Dan might eventually turn into "a solid part-time career".
In Sydney, Emma Kerger, or Bendy Em, has made a full-time career from street performing – and squeezing into a tiny box – for 15 years.
Fresh from a business degree in the UK, the contortionist says she fell into the scene when her neighbour roped her into doing a street show.
They surprised themselves by becoming quite successful, and took the show on the road before embarking on solo careers.
Kerger is still one of few female street artists. "It's not easy, I kind of found my little niche and made it work."
While it's been a great run so far, the 37-year-old says she "doesn't plan on squeezing into a box forever" and will eventually open a health and wellness retreat with her partner.
Meanwhile, Puppetry of the Penis' Morley is back on stage after a seven-year break.
"I figured it was sort of a younger man's job, then I realised it was more about the funny," says the married father-of-two, who now lives near the border of England and Wales.
In Australia, his brother is running a successful spin-off, offering private parties. The biggest trouble, says Morley, is finding enough men willing to get their kit off.
All in all, Morley says it's been a dream way of making a living.
"If you've made 1000 people a night roll around, and pee themselves laughing, that's job satisfaction."
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