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New high speed rail will run between Sydney and Melbourne once every election year

The Prime Minister has announced a new high speed rail policy that will connect the country’s two largest cities once every three years, or more frequently when there’s a double dissolution.

Mr Turnbull, who discovered the policy in a folder marked ‘For Election Years Only’, said the new train would provide a quick link between the Government and innovation.

“This is the fastest, most convenient election policy we’ll see, until it’s next released in 2019,” he said. “I can jump on this policy at 9am in Sydney, and then get off it by lunchtime”. He said all the mocked-up map graphics and stock photos of bullet trains on a blurred background were ready to go.

But Opposition Leader Bill Shorten was scathing of the policy. “Malcolm Turnbull likes to talk about train platforms, but where’s his platform for jobs?” he said. 

This story originally appeared on The Shovel.