Facebook comments sections are a place that I frequent far too often.

I'm constantly seeing comments from people that make my blood boil, and engaging in arguments and discussions that I know are very rarely, if ever, going to be productive.

Through this unhealthy habit, I see many of the same arguments to the same kinds of issues used over, and over.

The one that gets on my nerves most is the reactionary, and diversionary tactic, "but what about male/white/straight/cis/able-bodied people!"

This is used against anything seen to be giving in too much to the wretched whims of women and marginalised minorities.

Earlier this year, Stuff posted an article discussing the "decades-long wait" for gender reassignment surgery (GRS) in New Zealand.

READ MORE:
* Banned from Facebook, again
* The double-edged sword of Facebook parents' groups
* We're all losing our manners in this new rude age

Displaying a complete lack of self-control and regard for my own mental well-being, I delved into the comment section on the Facebook post for this article. One of the first comments I saw was this: "The LGBTIX community are more vocal, so they deserve it first ... As they are more important".

What followed this comment was a host of people bringing up things such as cataract operations, hip and knee operations etc. and using those things as justification for why GRSs shouldn't be given priority. I'm not necessarily going to claim that these people don't care about the surgery waitlists they brought up, but I do think that the context they're bringing them up in is very telling.

You're not advocating for shorter wait times for non-GRSs. If you were, you would be out actively advocating for them, just as people do for GRS. Instead, you've brought it up in the context of a GRS article on Facebook as a way to diminish and stifle other people's advocacy, because it makes you feel uncomfortable.

If you deeply care about cataract, knee and hip surgeries, I highly encourage you to get some people together, and go out into the world and be vocal about it. That's what "the LGBTIX" community has done for GRS, and that's why you're commenting on a Facebook post about them, rather than the other way around.

An even more recent example of these same kinds of reactionary and diversionary conversations occurred in the comment section of another Stuff article. This article was about the creation of a safe space for women at Auckland's Laneway Festival, which was on Monday.

I knew before even looking at the comments what they were going to say. "Drunken women can be just as abusive... as men", "Now we need one for men... women get abusive to [sic]", and "Haven't you heard mate, men don't get harassed" are just a few of the comments, all saying much the same thing - "but what about the men!".

To the people making these comments, I want to convey a similar sentiment to what I said about the non-GRS surgeries. If a safe space for men at Laneway is something that you feel strongly and passionate about, feel absolutely more than free to gather up your fellow comrades and advocate for it - just as I'm sure women did for their safe space.

You know what though? I don't think you will. The reason that "The LGBTIX community are more vocal" (as well as other marginalised and minority groups) is quite simple - we care more. We have more to fight for, and we're willing to go out and advocate for it. I want you to question why the only time that you advocate for safe spaces for men is in reaction to one being created for women.

To put my opinion on this topic a little bit more bluntly, I don't think that your heart lies with the access, opportunity and rights of people on hip replacement surgery waitlists, or of men that are abused by women. I think your heart lies with maintaining the status quo, and not allowing anyone to have things that you don't have.

You see it as a threat to your rights, opportunities and access, and so you're willing to deliberately attempt preventing other people from enjoying those same privileges.

I'm all for you proving me wrong, though. I encourage you to pick a cause and fight for it, as long as it's not mostly as an attempt to stifle other people's advocacy. If men's safe spaces and surgery waiting lists are important to you then I support your advocacy for them wholeheartedly, and wish you the best of luck in your endeavours.

View all contributions

- Stuff

Comments