Like most women I haven't always had an easy relationship with my body. When I was growing up my father used to call me Pebbles and regularly pointed out that I was just as round as one of those small stones.
He probably thought he was saying it in a loving, teasing way, but it wasn't ideal for a girl's body image. Although I was a super fit teenager I wouldn't go swimming in public without a T-shirt and long boardshorts, and was convinced I was overweight.
In my 20s, I learned that there are more important things in life than skinny legs and a flat stomach, and although I had made peace with my body it still didn't mean that I enjoyed looking at myself in the mirror.
One of my favourite things in the world has always been cooking for friends and eating good food. Yet still there was always a little voice in my head telling me that I probably shouldn't eat this or that.
In my 30s I noticed another kind of body that I aspired to having. The soft body of a mum. One that a baby can cuddle into and a toddler can throw her whole weight at in a warm embrace.
I thought that once I became a mum I could let go of body insecurities, because my body would have produced something incredible.
It took me almost 40 years to find the right person to start a family with and I was lucky to eventually become pregnant with twins. During my pregnancy I put on almost 30 kilos and loved my super-round twin belly. I loved wearing tight (tent-sized) T-shirts and was in awe that there were two little humans squiggling around in my puku.
When I had my two daughters, my body became all soft. Some bits wobbly, others a bit saggy and I promised myself to keep loving it. Not only for me but for my daughters' sake.
More than anything I want them to grow up with a mum who loves her body. A mum who's active, fit and who follows her passion of cooking (mainly) wholesome food and eating without guilt. And without trying to fit into society's rule that beauty is only available in the skinny variety.
Body image issues start out at a young age. According to a study by the American National Eating Disorders Association, 81 per cent of all 10 year olds are afraid of being fat, and 42 per cent of 7 year olds are dieting.
I want to protect them from a world where fat is a swear word. I want to teach them that diversity is beautiful and conformity is boring.
I want my girls to love their bodies for being strong and (hopefully!) healthy. I want to share my love for good food, although most likely after we've passed toddlerhood when they probably won't like anything I cook! I want to share the fun of making food together and show them how it can bring people together.
I want them to be confident and know they're valued for their minds, not for their bodies. For being smart, not just being cute.
And the first step on this road is for me to love my body and mean it. It's for me to learn not to think "Mama looks hideous in her swimsuit" but to put them on, show them my stretched belly, take them by their tiny hands and make the biggest splash.
What do you do to help your daughters to gain a positive body image?
Follow Julie Scherer on Facebook as she shares her first steps as a mum of twin girls.
- Stuff.co.nz
Comments