"We get a break from Mum and Dad!"
My two children had clearly heard us sharing the anticipation of our upcoming five-night kid-free break, and they'd borrowed the sentiment. Cheeky? Yes – but I decided to take it with humour. After all, having the rugrats push us out the door was better than them clinging to our legs.
The excitement was genuine: it was to be our first child-free break since becoming parents more than eight years ago. I was burnt out, my husband and I were both exhausted, and the idea of spending uninterrupted time together was blissful. Such time is hard to come by for most parents and, since moving away from our families two years ago, for us to have even a day to ourselves is rare.
The kids, too, were happy about the arrangement. With their grandparents returning after several months away, they were looking forward to being spoilt … without having sensible parents around to veto the fifth dessert night in a row.
And so it was that my husband and I ended up in a resort in Bali, sipping cocktails, reading books and ordering room service. We also did fun things like visiting a waterslide park, where we mostly just enjoyed not looking for toilets every five minutes (as we do when the kids are with us).
While we were worried about missing the kids, we settled easily into our holiday and wondered why it had taken us so long to do it. Then again, it's not every day that we get the opportunity.
On returning home, we'd made a pact: let's not leave our next kid-free holiday another eight years.
But the best part was that when we got home we were ready to be patient parents once again. And, as it turns out, the kids had experienced a similar epiphany.
"Actually, Mum," my daughter confided in me when we returned, "having a break from you wasn't as good as I thought. I'm happy you're home."
How to go on a kid-free holiday
- Take any opportunity. It was worth taking the brief opportunity of my parents being there to look after the kids.
- Pick your destination carefully. While we originally planned to go hiking, we realised we actually needed something we can't do with our active kids around: a completely relaxing break. I can't even tell you how good it felt to get so much sleep.
- Go somewhere kid-free. We chose a resort that didn't have a kids' club or children splashing around in the pool; if we weren't with our own kids, we didn't want to be around others'.
- Sell it to the kids. Think about what's in it for them, and make those points crystal clear.
- Focus on the children before you go. Talk less about what you have planned for your trip and more about the fun they'll have while you're away. The more the kids are focused on their own excitement rather than the holiday they're missing out on, the smoother it will go.
- Ask the babysitters to do something special. In our case, the grandparents pulled the children out of school for a day to hang out together. They went cherry picking, bought ice-creams and went swimming, so the kids felt they were getting a mini-holiday too.
- Try not to miss the kids too much. The irony of going away without the kids is that you miss them terribly. Make the most of it for that short time, though: things will be back to normal soon enough.