Announcing your pregnancy on social media is something of a conundrum. Do you do the sweet shot of a burgeoning baby bump? Do you art direct a photoshoot starring you and your beloved (or your goddamn glorious self) replete with props?
Do you post a snap of your first sonagram and say offhand "I made this thing?" Should you get a photobooth, Y/N? Do you not announce it on social because what if the baby grows up and resents you forever because of it?
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Beyonce expecting twins
The pop singer has announced on her Instagram account that she's pregnant again. (Video courtesy: Seven News)
But then along comes Queen Bey with the pregnancy announcement pic to beat out them all. Within hours, it became the most-liked post on Instagram, Ever.
Talk about breaking the internet.
In it she kneels before an altar of flowers (to herself!) wearing mismatched sexy knickers and of course the pièce de résistance, a VEIL. She looks straight at the camera (WHO IS THE PHOTOGRAPHER) with a beatific fierceness.
She is like a muse of one of the old masters. She is the Renaissance. She is blissfully serene, but would take down anyone should they dare cross her cubs. This photo will hang in a gallery one day (or maybe some kind of space crypt in 1000 years?). The people will fly in on rocket boots to take selfies with the chips in their eyes in front of it, a pilgrimage in times when they need resilience and strength to go on.
But perhaps even more than this prophecy for how this image will live on, Bey has also given us all a guide to how to make the perfect pregnancy announcement post. Herewith:
Step 1
Own your gloriousness.
Yes, you are probably tired and sick and all you want to eat is a ham sandwich and drink a can of cola and the whole world is judging you, but you are doing something amazing. Practise your pose before you unveil your belly to the world.
Step 2
Get someone who knows how to take photos to take yours.
If you can't swing for a professional you are well within your rights to harangue your partner/best friend/mother to get the photo right.
Step 3
It can be sexy.
Becoming a mother doesn't mean you automatically have to ditch the frilly knickers or sensuality (weird right). That said, if you'd rather sit on the couch in your trackies this is also entirely acceptable.
Step 4
Be true to who you are.
Feel that hanging off a trapeze is the best way to sum up the kind of family your baby is being welcomed into? Go for it (erm, maybe check with a doctor first?) Fancy recreating a scene from Fifty Shades (remember your colleagues/future child might see it but go ahead!)? A tribute to David Bowie (amazing)? A coffee cup with a cute message? Whatever scene you set, make it you.
Step 5
Wear a veil.
Preferably also be Beyonce. But honestly, how many times in life do you get to wear a veil?
Step 6
Revel in everybody sharing in your joy.
At the time of writing Bey is currently sitting on 4,657,398 likes. So, goals.