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Vanessa was left at the altar at her wedding Rarotonga.

New Zealand felt for Vanessa, the jilted bride who was left in Rarotonga by her fiance the night before they were due to walk down the aisle. 

A study by Clark University in the US has found that 86 per cent of young adults (aged 18-29) expect their marriages to last a lifetime.

We all know, however, that a good half end in divorce, and Vanessa's heartbreaking experience shows us that they can end before they even begin. 

The five star resort where Vanessa's wedding was meant to take place.

Did this unfortunate jilted bride choose the wrong person from the get-go? Could she have seen the warning signs coming? 

In retrospect, others who have seen serious breakdowns of long-term relationships and marriages often say there were early warnings when they got together with their partner or spouse, but they chose to ignore them (and it ended in disaster).

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Here are 10 mistakes you can make when it comes to picking the person you may one day marry. 

LOVING BUT NOT LIKING THEM

Love is integral in any long-term relationship. But so too is liking your partner, because love alone isn't enough.

When you find you don't like being around your partner much, but what's keeping you there is you still love them, you've taken a wrong turn somewhere.

It's not a grave mistake – you can relearn to like somebody with mutual behaviour changes – but it certainly can't go unchecked, either.

MAKING LOOKS THE NUMBER ONE PRIORITY

Appearance is often the first thing that attracts us to people, but it shouldn't be something that matters long-term.

If you're with somebody primarily because of how good they look on your arm, both of you are with the wrong person.

AN ABSENCE OF COMMON GROUND

Having things in common doesn't mean you like the same type of music or movies.

It means sitting ideologically at the same table on most things.

If you have huge differing opinions on family, career projection, monogamy, even politics, you might already be at the beginning of the end.

SIGNIFICANT DIFFERENCE IN INTELLIGENCE

We've all dated the dumb, pretty person.

It can be manageable (and even fun) in the beginning, but marrying somebody who you have a significant difference in intelligence with can prove problematic, because, again, you'll struggle to find other types of common ground.

ANYBODY WITH EARLY SIGNS OF JEALOUSY

When the green-eyed monster rears its head early on in a relationship, it's unlikely to go away.

If somebody you're dating frequently expresses unwarranted concerns about where you are and who you're with, this behaviour will probably get worse as your relationship progresses.

Jealousy leads to distrust, and you're definitely not with the right person if you can't trust them.

THINKING SEXUAL CHEMISTRY ISN'T THAT BIG OF A DEAL

Everybody knows that sexual desire fades as relationships mature and bedroom activity becomes routine. That's natural.

But starting out a relationship with somebody you don't have great sexual chemistry with is a recipe for a completely sexless marriage.

SOMEBODY WHO WON'T GROW WITH YOU

Few people are the same during year one of a relationship as they are in years five or ten.

Successful couples grow and change together; neither sits in the same place.

If you're marrying somebody stubborn who refuses to compromise and grow, you may find yourself drifting away from them as they stay in one place.

SOMEBODY THAT PUTS THEIR JOB (OR SOMETHING ELSE) FIRST

Some people enter into relationships with caveats like "my job is always going to come first" or "I won't do anything without my mother's approval".

This is the opposite of the kind of person to stay with long-term.

You don't need to come first in the beginning, but you do need to come first in the end.

NOT KNOWING EACH OTHER WELL ENOUGH

It's easy to fall in love; it'd hard to stay there.

Not knowing each other well enough from the outset (seriously, it takes a good couple of years) can mean you're choosing a different partner than you think you are. If in doubt, give it time.

ANYBODY THAT LIKES TO IGNORE "BIG CONVERSATIONS" BECAUSE THEY'RE HARD

Most relationship problems won't resolve themselves. They take time, and good communication, to work through.

If your partner is an "avoider", i.e. he or she conveniently likes to leave the house when arguments arise, or stays silent when something serious needs discussing until it falls by the wayside, you have a problem.

Big conversations are hard, sure, but being left at the altar because you've been in a relationship with a chronic avoider (who chickened out last minute) is even harder.

 - Stuff