Garry Lyon has lamented his failure to rigorously seek professional help for depression when he had his first serious brush with it eight years ago, and said that he fell "into a hole" at the end of 2015.
In a tell-all interview with new SEN radio stablemate Mike Sheahan, the prominent media personality and former Melbourne champion suggested he would have been in a far better place 12 months ago if he had nipped his mental demons in the bud.
Instead, his depression became so bad that he was forced to take a year-long break out of the public eye to deal with his issues amid revelations of his relationship with the former wife of his good friend and Footy Show colleague Billy Brownless.
"I sought professional help eight years ago and went through that process for about two weeks and I was just not ready," Lyon said on Tuesday.
"I thought, 'How can this person help me get through this difficult period that I was living through?'
"So I didn't pursue it - to my detriment I've got no doubt - because I wasn't mature enough, I had a closed mind, I thought in most things in life to that date I had been able to work it out myself and I'm not great at asking for help.
"So to go through that period of time a long time ago, I've got no doubt if I had have stuck at that I would've been in a much better place going forward. But I didn't address it."
Lyon insisted that at his lowest points he never questioned whether living was worthwhile, but said he struggled to get off the couch to face the day at the end of 2015.
"I had some seriously dark times. I can see how people get to that stage (contemplating suicide), no doubt," Lyon said.
"I was battling at the end of 2015. I got myself into a hole.
"You just stop enjoying what you're doing and I was regretting the end of the football season in 2015 because football gave me structure.
"Normally I would be relishing a break and getting away, but I couldn't and I didn't.
"When you're on your own, you're sitting in a house on your own going through these emotions so there's lots going on, your own relationship had broken down, you're having these feelings of where you fit in the world – it just challenges you every day.
"You can't reach out, I couldn't pick the phone up, for instance, and say I'm struggling and every day that you didn't the harder it got to do that."
Lyon said he was offended by the scepticism from parts of the community with regards to his psychological issues.
He admitted he was not over his depression but that he was monitoring himself closely and looking for warning signs.
"It's an offensive thing to hear. Your back gets up and you go, 'What do you want me to do? Do you want access to my doctors? Do I need to produce a certificate? Do you want the medication? Do you want the whole box and dice?'," he said
"I'd imagine that there's some people that share that point of view, I hope for their sake that no one close to them or within their family have to go through it if that's their mindset.
"Cynical elements would say, 'How can you be back in a year?' I'm back working (but) I haven't got a handle on this completely at all by any stretch."
Lyon acknowledged his relationship with Nicky Brownless caused a lot of pain to both his and the Brownless families.
"It's important publicly that I apologise for the hurt and pain they've been through," he said.
"If people think I've been blasé about that and haven't recognised it or don't acknowledge it, then that would be wrong because that's been a really difficult thing for me.
"It was hard to see them go through a lot of that and I am really regretful about that.
"I have (personally apologised to Billy) but I haven't spoken to him since before Christmas (2015).
"I spoke to Bill before this became public a year or so ago."
Lyon, who had separated from his ex-wife in 2014, revealed he had texted Brownless, but that he didn't receive a response from the former Geelong forward and conceded he probably wouldn't have responded if the roles were reversed.
"There's no easy way to have broached that subject and I'm not saying that I was jumping out of my skin to talk to Bill about it," Lyon said.
"(There are) innate difficulties with all of that. Whether you could do things differently again in hindsight maybe.
"Nicky and I are together, and I'm eternally grateful that she was able to support me through the back half of this.
"Large amounts of people frown upon a relationship with someone who was once married to a friend. I understand that, I accept that."
For help or information regarding depression call:
Lifeline 131 114
beyondblue 1300 224 636
SuicideLine 1300 651 251 (this service is Victoria based)
MensLine 1300 789 978